Anybody else regretting and feeling bad about encouraging their kids to go to uni?

[Gh0ststory]

The loans situation in the media has really made me regret encouraging them to go. I did encourage apprenticeships but wish I’d pushed harder and actively discouraged uni.

Eldest ds graduated a few years ago and does have a reasonably well paid job although not really related to his degree. DD is doing a nursing degree so I feel that as long as she does manage to get a job at the end of it it will be worthwhile. Ds3 I worry about hugely. He did an extra year as changed courses, will have a degree in a subject which I feel really won't stand him the best chance of getting a job. I worry for him hugely graduating this summer with huge amounts of debt. Ds2 who is the only one of my four who didn't go to Uni so far has done the best. He did an apprenticeship and earning almost 50k at the age of 25 with no student debt and just about to buy his own home alone.
I think with hindsight and the ridiculous loan situation I would have encouraged ds3 in particular to go down the apprenticeship route.

Ds has graduated and definitely needed a degree to get into his field as this shows a proven level of understanding. The way he sees it is how much is his net pay? He doesn't care what the debt is or how big it is, when he gets pay rises he just sees what the increase is in his net pay. His graduate mates feel the same way, it was a means to an end. It isn't this looming debt hovering over them causing them stress.

He views this the same way he views buying a house, a typical mortgage will take 25 years to pay it off, you pay back double what you borrowed. He doesn't see that as a looming debt either. University was an investment in himself.

Ds only graduated in 2024 and is not far off being a high rate taxpayer. He has a career path plan and he is excelling at it.

My cleaner's DS, with SEN, just won an apprenticeship with a big local employer in the warehouse. There were four jobs, over 150 applicants and 15 interviews, for a role that pays £34k for FT work for a fully qualified person. He did brilliantly and we are all chuffed to fuck that he succeeded, but £34k on qualification suggests that the UK is very second rank in global pay terms.

DD is in her second year, she is studying for a degree in an allied health profession with loads of job vacancies in the area. If she works for the NHS for 2 years all her tuition fees are covered.
She gets about £2000 a year in bursary which doesn't have to be repaid.
DD lives at home and attends the local (very good) uni. She works part time and is saving for the future.....if she had moved away for uni it would have cost a fortune for accommodation and she would have needed loans.
It was her decision to stay home as it made financial sense.

No. 2DC didn't go to university and went the apprenticeship route. DD is currently doing an integrated Masters in mathematical physics with plans to be an actuary or similar. If she was doing media studies and had scraped in with 2Ds, perhaps, but how else could she achieve her goals without going to university?

I agree @BlueJuniper94. Gone are the days when students could study whatever they liked without a real career plan ( I was one of them 30 years ago, had no idea what I’d do next). We encouraged DD (20) to think ahead and choose a field where she’d have well-paid options so she’ll be able to deal with the debt.

Plus, she’s having a great experience, she was mature and ready to live independently. So no, we don’t regret encouraging her to go to uni, it’s been great for her.

Edit to say that if parents can pay, of course students can still whatever they liked without, but that’s not the case for many students. We help a lot, but can’t cover everything.

For lots of DC there isn't a viable alternative to going to university. So, unless you are very wealthy, student loans were the only option.

My DC's friends who didn't go to university are now stuck in jobs without limited ability to progress.
Apprenticeships are limited in number and not available for every career.

I don't think education is ever wasted, and our young people are at least in the same boat as their peers!

My friend really pushed her son, who clearly was not ready, to go. He then crashed and burned out half way through year 2 and has been left with huge debt and nothing to show.
She is now pushing him again as he doesn’t know what to do otherwise.

How are the financial services industry profiting from Plan 2 loans@Papyrophile ?

Watching my eldest thrive at uni and enjoy every minute means I don't regret supporting them to go there.

I've had two student loans, worth every penny.

Probably me choosing words badly here, but plan 2 in retrospect looks designed to guarantee a return to lenders.

And I would be among the first to agree that there needs to be a return on money risked.

@isthatmytrainleaving Yep, my DH (53) is still paying off his graduate degree loans- he’ spread them over 30 years so it’s like another household bill.

But, that advanced degree was vital to his career, he wouldn’t be doing what he does without it.

You mean the Treasury and taxpayer then?

My son wanted an apprentiship but didnt get one after a lot of trying. He is working full time but its made up of several different jobs, a couple are well paid but not really possible to progress in.

He's now thinking of doing a degree as he can keep some of his part time jobs alongside it but will maybe get a chance at one job in an area of interest and progression opportunities.

We've talked about how he could get the degree and end up doing the same combination of jobs he does now earning the same amount, but paying 9% of this salary over the 25k and he feels its worth the risk. He also thought being a graduate is useful if you want emigrate and money comes and goes but its quite hard to take education from you (apart from illness affecting the brain)

So what im saying is its easy to think your child might have earned more or done better without a degree but the reality might have been several zero hours contracts and wondering what if the other direction.

Yes, I am happy for the taxpayer to get back their investment . I am less comfortable with the notion that it should be charged ab initio
.

When I went to university in 1974, only a handful went so paying fees and grants wasn't big money, and most people earned and paid back via their higher earnings. But when you allow every single course to charge £9500 for tuition, regardless of the graduate earning potential, it is a hiding to nowhere.

Take a clear luxury, like jewellery design. Nobody needs jewellery, but some of the fine metal work skills will have a wider application in industry.

Yes I grew up on the era where a degree guaranteed a job but people from where I grew up didn’t go to uni and I regretted it so from my kids being young I normalised going to uni as I wanted them to feel it was accessible to them. But then the costs went up so much, degrees became ten a penny. I actively encouraged apprenticeships but they both wanted uni. Now 45k in debt each one has a job she needed a level 3 qualification for and the other ended up doing a apprentiship after her degree . They loved their time at uni though

Nothing actually to do with the financial services industry then. Though I’d share your broader concern about Plan 2 interest rates, more the level and tiered charging rather than the application point@Papyrophile

@firstofallimadelight Going to university is rarely a waste of time. The payback may be slower than expected though.

Most sixth formers don't just follow whatever path mum and dad tell them to. They have an opinion about what they'd like to do when they leave school. Unless someone had totally brow beaten their nearly adult dc and made then ultra obedient in an unhealthy way I guess.

It's a sad state of affairs if we are now telling academic young people with top A level grades higher education is not for the likes of them, unless mum and dad can pay upfront. It would be a real backwards step.

Yes, I do a bit.

DS initially liked the idea of apprenticeship/degree apprenticeships… but aside from the fact they are like gold dust, he didn’t know what he wanted to do and nothing he saw really appealed that much.

So we encouraged uni. It seemed sensible. He did fairly well at A level, got into a top ten uni. He did a fairly traditional academic but not STEM subject, the sort with various transferable skills (and the majority of grad schemes he’s looked at just want any degree). Worked part time throughout 6th form and uni. Graduated with a 2.1 last summer….. and is still job hunting.

He’s finding it really tough and demoralising.

I kind of agree with this; at least, this it how it has worked out for my DC. They have both had a brilliant time at uni, left home in a supported kind of way, got to live in another part of the country, made some truly incredible friendships and gained a qualification which is a leg up in the world, if not essential in their fields. Yes it was expensive, but I don't think they regret it. Going to uni is about so much more than just their future career.

My daughter went to Cambridge and studied Geography. Not a subject that would easily lead to a career. My youngest daughter went to art college and . She came out and became a management consultant, not something that readily used her skills but a university was the thing that opened the door to her. Just a few years down the line she is now thinking of retraining as a barrister (even more debt and even more study). I can’t make her mind up for her and will support her in whatever she does. Some choices incur debt and some don’t but it is our children’s choice to make.

Do I feel guilty for encouraging my son to go to university given the student loan situation? No. I encouraged him to experience higher education, but I never pushed him toward a particular career.
That said, it is striking how much debt students take on today. By the time many finish their degree, they are carrying tens of thousands in loans, yet starting salaries for some professions including teaching aren’t much higher than what you could earn in jobs that don’t require a degree, with some minimum-wage roles approaching £25,000. It really highlights the financial challenge some young people face in balancing study, debt, and early career earnings.