AIBU to find calling a son-in-law "son" blurs boundaries?

[PerkyCritic]

I’ve always found it a bit odd when parents refer to their daughter’s husband as their “son” or say things like “he’s like a son to me”.
Of course it’s great when families get along and there’s warmth there, but I sometimes wonder if it blurs boundaries a bit. At the end of the day he’s your daughter’s partner and their relationship is separate from the parent–child relationship. Part of me also thinks if a parent constantly sings the partner’s praises and treats them like their own child, it might make it harder for the daughter to come to them if she ever needed support or had concerns about the relationship.

AIBU to think it’s healthier to keep a bit of a distinction there?

YABU. My DH is like a son to my mum. He takes her out even when I’m not there. Likewise I do things for his mum like bra shopping or medical care that I would do for my own mum.

my late father thought of my husband as a son. Dad had 4 sisters growing up and 2 daughters. They got on so well, it was lovely to see. I see no issue with it.

We wouldnt do it but I dont see anything wrong with it

YABU. Very common in (most) European countries.

Not something I’d get wound up about to be honest. I imagine if there were strange family dynamics elsewhere or could conflict then maybe.

My brother was injured playing football requiring a&e. He told them his brother (MY DH) had brought him in. My brother had concussion. They were asking my DH some questions and he replied o I don’t know let me ring my wife shes his sister she’ll know!!!

I adore my kids partners. They are an important part of my family, but of course my kids come first.

I think you can love your child’s partner but still prioritise your child if it came to it

I don’t really see the issue, unless you’re suggesting that your parents side against you as you divorce their beloved ‘son’. I’m ’amiable background noise’ to my PIL, and DH is the same to my parents.

My children will always come first, but I love my DILS. I think of them as part of the family, are they the same as my DD, no, but I love them and will fight tooth and nail to protect them.

Some people call any young man 'son' it's an expression like mate or love.

My parents were amazing parents and loved my DH like a son.
DH’s parents were not particularly supportive, not abusive but didn’t go out of their way either…they definitely didn't think of me as a daughter. The three they had were too many for them really!

Thats true. My old manager in his late fifties called every male son, even if they were his age 😊

My Father was effectively orphaned when he met my Mum at 19. Within a few weeks Mum was a bit surprised to find my Gran was washing his shirts (it was the 50s) and inviting him for Sunday lunch. My Gran always considered him another son and strangely he was more like her in some ways than her own children.

My DH is a better son to my parents than my brothers are.
On the other hand, my brothers are heirs in their wills, but my DH isn't. And I think that's right.

My DH is an all-round wonderful bloke who loves both his own and my family and looks after everyone.

He is very much moved, but it is different from the love of parents towards their own children.

What difference does it make to you? All families are different.

What a load of nonsense.

No issue with it if it's a current in law, but do think it's a bit weird when it's a soon to be ex and they're still saying it (it didn't go down very well in my family when one relative put up a picture on Facebook saying she was with her "nephew". Said nephew is actually their niece's soon to be ex-H, he's been an absolute cock, yet they've come across as siding with him.)

I was very fond of my PIL but I wouldn't say they thought of me as a daughter. My parents love my DH like a son though - he and my dad would often go for a pint and now my mum's on her own and lives round the corner from us, DH pops in often for a cuppa with her. We were 17 and 19 when we first met and been married 36 years so they have known him a long time - since he was a teenager! His parents lived abroad and never bothered much with birthdays etc so it's always been my family at parties, bbqs & get togethers.

DH was lovely to my Grans too when we were young and would drive to pick them up for Sunday lunch and other visits.

Basically, my family love him because he's kind, generous and very loveable!

I called MIL mum in the last 10 years she was alive. She earned that title and I know she loved me as fierce as she did dh. Sil and bil. Sil outright says it if we speak of mil.

Not groving up in a country where it was usual to call your inlaws mum and dad this was not something I ever thought would happen. I loved mil. She was amazing supportive loving caring and never made a difference between her grand children. In truth not a day passes where I dont think about her and miss her. She has been gone 6 years. My mothet 10 but its rare I miss her.

I dont really care how others view it. It worked for us and I do believe that lyric

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is just to love and be loved in return

And I did and was.