Hi, looking for some unbiased opinions.
My husband and I separated last year (his choice). He now lives in a small house with no garden, while I remain in the family home and cover the mortgage myself.
In a few months I need to travel for work for three weeks. My soon-to-be ex asked if he could stay in the house with the boys while I’m away since most of their things are still here. After thinking about it, I agreed, even though I had reservations as it took a long time for the house to feel like mine after he left.
He has now said that while I’m away he plans to have his family stay for a few days and host a barbecue. Knowing him, I worry it could turn into a bigger gathering with more relatives and possibly neighbours.
I’m uncomfortable with the idea of him hosting extended family and what could become a party in my house when I’m not there.
For context he left because he says I’d become distant and unloving rather than anyone else being involved. I agree that may have happened, but we had young children and I carried most of the mental load and admin, he did very little.
When I raised concerns about similar issues in the past, he’d say it was my issue and make me feel unreasonable. So I’m wondering — am I being unreasonable to feel uncomfortable with him hosting his family at my house while I’m away?