WIBTA for correcting a cashier who keeps misgendering my son? Hello, this is my first post here. I (30m) have a son who is 11 months old. We live in Bath in the UK. Recently, an independent toy shop has opened near the supermarket we shop a

[IgglePiggle1]

WIBU to correct a cashier who keeps deliberately referring to my son as "They"?

Welcome!

Does it really matter from someone who isn't even a casual acquaintance? My DD, a bald baby often dressed in navy blue, was often called 'he', even when wearing a dress. I never corrected anyone.

Typo

Dunno, it's up to you innit 🤷‍♂️

I've often corrected people who got my DC's sex wrong but never gave it another thought.

But also the fact they're using 'they', just means they don't now what sex your child is.

So they're using it in the correct way.

Just reply with HE or whatever. They’re probably just trying not to upset you and not sure if the baby is a boy or girl.

I would assume they are saying "they" as they can't tell what sex the baby is and don't want to give offence. My dd had very little hair till she was 3 and was often referred to as "he" even when wearing pink.

It's not something so personally would get wound up about. Why don't you say something the next time to make it clear your baby is a boy?

Once a baby is dressed, you can't tell its sex.

This is such a non incident I don't know why it's even bothering you. How often are you even in the toy shop??

I think they are using they to avoid misgendering. You can just respond saying " he ...."
It's hard to tell if baby is a boy or girl it's not personal I'm sure.

They (!) probably use it all the time because they've had stroppy parents when they get it wrong.

It's odd you think she's doing it on purpose rather her being tactful cos she can't remember.

Oh, aren't they cute?? Isn't offensive. Would they like a sweetie? Isn't offensive. Not bring acknowledged as a male as every given opportunity isn't offensive.

dog owners also get upset about this, i mostly refer to all dogs as He

Well, on Op's identical thread (without the 47 word title) they say that the cashier was clearly told that the child is a boy.

My answer remains the same. MN is bonkers about the use of "they".

There's nothing wrong with it.

Why is 30m relevant? Are you 30 months old or is that your bra size?

This is a complete non issue anyway. Your son won’t be scarred for life because a shop assistant hasn’t realised he has a penis.

My son was routinely misgendered as a girl from ages 0-12 due to him having quite delicate features and long hair. Most of the time I didn’t bother to correct them when it was someone I was having a brief interaction with. My son typically ignored it too. I don’t think this something you need to get worked up about.

I don't think you can misgender a baby.

They is a perfectly correct term for when you don’t know the sex of a person and always has been… it’s not misgendering because it is the correct but unspecific term for a person of any sex or gender.

It is appropriate to use ‘they’ when referring to somebody whose sex you don’t know. The cashier was not making an assumption that your child ‘identifies as non-binary’.

So people refer to a child as 'they' when they dont know the gender ! And they don't want to say he if its she ... Etc. Hope this helps ?

Tobe honest there's so much uproar if you say he instead of she and vice versa it's the safest option sadly. This isn't misgendering btw as she didn't state a gender.
Out of interest where's the new toy shop? My ds lives in Bath so might pop and have a look next time we go down there

If you wanted to set the cat among the pigeons, you could dress him in a t-shirt for each visit to the shop with 'Don't call me they' printed on the front. Or 'My pronouns are he/him'. Or 'I am not a girl'. Or 'I am a cis boy' Or 'I have an x and a y chromosome'.

As always, mums net never fails to let me know that I have had enough internet for one day.

This.

Toy shops will have customers of such a vast age range so IMO the cashier has opted for the pronoun least likely to cause unintended offence.

"they" is to avoid causing offence

By the way, did you choose that thread title or is it this awful AI thing?

Whats the gender of the cashier?

You must find life exhausting

‘They’ is not a gender; how can they be misgendering him?

You must have more important things to get into a tizz over.