To be pissed off because my 7 year old won't take responsibilty for his belongings?

[shinyshoes]

OK he's only 7, (8 October) but his attitude has really pissed me off.

This might sound like a ridiculous subject but...........he has swimming lessons every tuesday. He's lost 4 pairs of goggles this year, we have tried the cheap ones but they dont seem to fit his face properly. He wore a cheap pair today and really struggled with the lesson saying they kept filling up.

He lost ANOTHER expensive pair last week . This wouldnt have happened if I'd have taken him.
So rathe than see him struggle I bought him anothe rexpensive pair (£9.99 these things cost and never get handed in ).

He came out of swimming lessons today minus goggles, I asked him where they were he says I leave them behind because I don't want to carry them all the time.

I was bloody livid I told him he wasnt to have the new ones I'd just bought him and he was to suffer the crappy pair.

Its just the bloody attitude of him. he's like it with everything, everything I ask him to do its met with an awwwwwwww, (Kevin and Perry style).

He never picks up after himself, never practices good hygeine (same with the 11 year old) prefers to lie to me rather than clean their teeth and face prefers to look at it, says 'i'm bored' all the time I tell him to something 10 times its met with an awwww again. .

Is it me, am I expecting too much from him at a young age? Surely taking responsibilty for his belongings isnt too much to ask.
Am I being cruel in with holding the new goggles. in case he 'can't be bothered to carry them'.

Hubby always takes him, I only do it if hubby isnt working. I've enough to do.

Hubby will trust him to put them away and says 'I shouldn't have to make sure he puts them in his bag he should do it anyway'.

Well he can fork out all the time for new goggles.

RANT OVER

Absolutely - making for DC pay for their lost bits and bobs focuses their ability to remember where they have put things

does he have to have goggles? our school actually prefers them not to have them so if its just his preference dont let him have any. do you buy stuff often? i found that my kids trashed their stuff cos they knew they would get more. a few weeks of nothing new and it improved significantly. have also made them replace stuff out of their pocket money, but then apparently im really mean

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My 12 year old DSD has the same problem. Currently we are missing a pair of glasses. They've gone. That's just the way it is. There's no point looking for them because they're not there. We have a blazer where there are threads pulled all over both arms, cause unknown. School shoes are wrecked within 3 weeks. I find it all soooo frustrating, I wonder whether I expect too much but she is twelve.

I totally hear you. I have a 7 year old (8 in July) and he sounds simular.

I would make him pay for the googles out of pocket money if he has any. They need to learn that we can't afford to just replace all the stuff that they lose.

He dosent have to have goggles no, but he can't open his eyes if he hasnt got them, and struggles without them.

My kids trash their stuff, but they have everything, I think thats the problem. I think my eldest was expecting a Nintendo DS for his birthday , he never got one because of the cavalier way they treat their things.
Thye had a £300 flatscreen LCD telly in their room, 2 weeks later they were hitting golf balls at it..

We don't buy them anything for them now because they want it, they have to prove they are worthy of looking after it properly.

unfortuately DS2 dosent get pocket money so I cant make him pay for the goggles but I willl make him do chores I think

Yes, making him do the chores is a good idea.

Why on earth do you keep buying them for him? I can understand the first time but again and again? Children have to learn responsibility for their actions and autonomy. If he were my child I would tell him, tough. If you want another pair then save up yourself to buy them. 3 important lessons learnt. 1. Learning to take responsibility for his actions. 2. The value of money. 3. Mums not a mug.

I wouldn't buy him any more.
I would also move the TV from their room-in fact anything they treat badly I would remove and only give back when they are prepared to look after it.(removing it again the moment they stop taking care).

Say you won't buy them anything until they've shown they can look after their things. Then set minimum standards - write on a chart and make them very clear and simple - and "excellence standards" and mark them against it. If they don't achieve the minimum then they don't even get goggles, and if they want things like Nintendos then they have to be at excellence standards for the whole year up til bday.

Go NOW and take the TV out of their room!