Posted about this before but I’m struggling so much with my mum. She is mid 60s so not old. We lost my dad unexpectedly 7 years ago and since then she has just become a shell. She drinks heavily, has quit work and has basically resigned herself to a life of misery. There are numerous issues in her life that she constantly complains about but will not seek help for. I’ve tried so much to help her but it’s getting to the point where I just can’t cope with it anymore. Examples include:
Moaning about things in her house that need fixing but won’t get anyone in.
Struggling to care for her parent who is in poor health but won’t seek support or consider carers.
Clearly suffers with MH and alcoholism issues but won’t go to therapy/GP.
Worries about money even though she has a large chunk from my dad’s pension but just won’t contact the financial people with regards to releasing it.
Complains about not seeing me and my dc often but makes no effort with them, has never babysat (mainly due to the drinking).
Complains about being lonely but would never entertain the idea of joining a group, going to the gym or anything that might make her life less shit.
I encourage, advise, support. She doesn’t listen. Then I’ll get random phone calls late at night wanting me to go over when she’s clearly been drinking. I won’t entertain it and have had to put up my own boundaries because I can’t stand being around her when she’s drunk.
The way she’s going she will drink herself into an early grave or hurt herself while under the influence. Already had two hospital visits for falls. Her friends are concerned but she doesn’t listen to them either. The cynical part of me believes the victim mentality is all so she can convince herself she’s justified in drinking. But it’s very painful and frustrating to watch.
I have to focus on myself and my own dc but I can’t just cut contact. Has anyone got any ideas on how to approach this with her? Or how I might be able to help?