People with knowledge of police, why would they not have recorded of this?

[Solost92]

My exH told me near the beginning of our relationship that he had spent alot of time being interviewed and arrested by police due to accusations from his ex. She had accused him of domestic violence and sexually assaulting her child.

(Please do not derail the thread with "why did you stay with him?" "Why did you have a child with him?" He was controlling and abusive I was 18 and he was 40.)

Cafcas are currently investigating him to see if he's allowed near our son. His local police force says they have no record of these accusations just some assault charges and kicking someone's door in. This could be her, he did also tell me about getting done for ramming her house in with his car, I can imagine he had exaggerated this from kicking her door in.

It's from probably about 20 years ago now. I was with him for 10, left about 4 years ago. I feel like it was about 3 or 4 years before me maybe more, I'm not sure. I think he may have lived in the next town over, I don't think they lived further than that but I'm not sure. I know the house she bought at the end of the relationship was in the next town as he showed me it. But they're under the same "force" but different police stations in different towns. Would that matter?

They're struggling to contact some very important people in this, including another victim, and I'm getting more uncomfortable that they're not going to have as much information as they should have.

I don't understand how the police wouldn't have this, why would he tell me this if it wasn't true?!

If he wasn't charged I imagine they destroy records after some time dont they?

Maybe GDPR stops them holding stuff that came to nothing? But i dont know!

I'm sorry to hear what you've been through and going through right now. I think it may be because it was 20 years ago DV wasn't treated very seriously and may have just been noted as "some assault charges." I think it's only in very recent times they've been logged more thoroughly. I can't imagine how frustrating that is for you! X

He also claimed to have beaten a police officer in the police station...

She ended up stabbing him (his claim as to how it happened doesnt line up with the wound actully looks like- it looks like he was swinging and she was holding a knife, he claims to have been completely stationary and unaware and she stabbed) so I'm sure it was quite an extensive investigation. But honestly I don't know. I just find it insane that they could have investigated claims of child sexual abuse and just 20 years later have no record. 20 isn't alot in a man's adult life. He was in his 30s, he's now in his 50s and he has had two girlfriends since I left that have children that I know of.

But I find it equally insane that he could have made it all up.

I don't know about police records but social services keep child safeguarding records for 100 years before destroying, although 20 years ago in my authority would have been paper records. I needed to access them once and it involved contacting someone to get the file out of storage for me to read through. CAFCAS are very busy, they may not be giving it their full effort to trace the records, or he could be lying.
Is he the type of person who would like to scare and intimidate you? That could be a motivation for lying about it, especially the driving a car into her house. Very unlikely that someone would get away with that.

Are you sure he's not making some of this up? Beating a police officer would have been a very big deal.

I reported DV in 2012 to the police, who didn't take me seriously at all. When I asked for the records as part of a court case against him in 2015, what I received bore no resemblance to the conversations I'd had with multiple officers. It was inaccurate and completely played it down, which turned out to be useless for court as well.

Some police forces are well known for their poor recording of DV incidents, so it wouldn't surprise me if the is the case here too OP.

Much love to you though, it sounds horrendous. I hope you have some good support during this time? X

Oh he definitely is the type to lie about everything from what day of the week it is to what he ate for breakfast. He lies for fun, manipulation, intimidation. He lied about his other child's actual name. And I feel like people think I'm crazy when I say I don't beleive a person he claims to exist even exists or I don't beleive his dad actually.died. he's a compulsive liar.

When I told the police officer doing my interview about my abuse that he'd said he'd beaten up a police officer in the station he laughed like "no that would.never happen" and I can understand you'd lie about that to seem scary and dangerous and unstoppable. Like I csn literally batter a police officer in the police station and walk out without anyone daring to say anything to me, what chance do you stand against me. I get that.

Why lie about abusing a child? To see if I would be weak enough to stay anyway? To groom me for if you were ever accused in the future?

I do beleive he is a paedophile, he told.me he was into young teenage girls but not that he'd ever done anything to them