To be very very annoyed at my so called family?

[Lovemyshoes]

I had a big party last week, the invites were sent out a while ago. Sil said no way could she come as she was working and could't get the night off -fair enough- dh asked her again last week & she turned round & said that she had the night off & was going to the dogs with her mate but that my fil was definately coming

Lo and behold, fil didn't turn up, no phonecall nothing & two little girls disappointed that their auntie and grandad didn't see them in their dresses.

This was a big do for dh and I as we have been going through a rough patch and have sorted things out, we had this party for our anniversary and thought they would have come for at least an hour.

Nearly a week later they have still not been in touch.

Am I being unreasonable to be pissed off?

did fil actually say he was coming? yanbu that they havent called to see how it went (maybe they didnt realise the importance of it to you) but you can't force them to come although see how hurtful it might be that sil changes her plans

Depends - How close are you to your SIL and FIL?

Would they normally come to your party? How out of character is it for your FIL just to not turn up?

FWIW, Neither my dad or my FIL are 'party people' and, at DH's 40th, my FIL didn't even come (he's DH's step dad) and my dad DID come, but left at 9pm to go and mind the dog ... but it wasn't a big issue, because we know neither of them would have enjoyed the party...

Maybe your inlaws didn't realise what a big deal it was for you guys?

youcannotbeserious makes a good point -my dad wouldnt like that kind of thing either so is highly unlikely to come and whats more prob wouldnt say anything as wouldnt want to look churlish by refusing the invite

they both knew it was important & fil said he was definately coming.

It just pissed me off the way sil couldn't get time off for the party but did for her mate.

I thought we were close and they do usually enjoy a good knees up.

in which case I would mention it to them but in a non confrontational way ie "was really sorry you couldn't make the party, it meant a lot to us and we really missed you" - its going to eat away at you if you don't say something by the sounds of it.

Yes, POppy is right - best say something now, when you can think about what you want to say and say it in a non confrontational way.

If you wait, it'll eat at you and you might say something which then gets taken the wrong way.

you say you ahve been going through a rough patch with dh

concentrate on that going well and forget about things that dont matter

like the in-laws

who cares whether they come or not? your dh and your dds are all that matter