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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU furious at DS16 for vaping

3 replies

happyandhealthy4 · 11/03/2026 17:38

I found a vape laying around in my DS16's room. He's tutoring someone and likely got the money to buy it from that.

DS16 is studying biology, chemistry, maths and physics at sixth form. Although he's doing well academically I'm concerned vaping could have a detrimental effect on his studies AND (more importantly) on his development and health.

I asked him how determinuje he vapes and he said he only vapes when out with friends however I have no way of knowing whether he's actually addicted or how frequently he really uses it. When I was his age everyone was smoking and whilst I appreciate the pressures of fitting into a friend group, it's very concerning he's engaging in such harmful behaviour.

I'm furious over the situation and so decided to ask for some opinions/advice so I can reflect and cool down a bit before I speak with him. What steps apart from having a conversation about the risks of vaping can I take? I can confiscate the most but since he's buying it with his own money I don't think that will smarten much apart from make him hide better. Is it unreasonable to demand access to his bank account so I can monitor his purchases for the time being? Is vaping common amongst teens?

OP posts:
Mumtobabyhavoc · 11/03/2026 21:44

Not unreasonable to be disappointed.
Unreasonable to think you can monitor spending of son's own money.
Insist it doesn't happen at home and make him read about the harms.

BrummieCahoots · 11/03/2026 22:13

He will probably be at uni in a couple of years ! I wouldn’t demand access to his bank …

ExperiencedTeacher · 11/03/2026 22:18

Vaping is rife amongst teens and it’s shocking how accepted it seems to be. We have no idea of the long term consequences.

That said, I wouldn’t demand access to his bank but I would have a full and frank discussion with him about it.

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