Would this annoy you ? DB and SIL always bragging about hard work etc

[wouldthisannoy]

I do love my DB and SIL. But sometimes my feelings are conflicted and I don’t really know why I feel the way I do and if it’s just me and it stems from inside ME. Examples of stuff that grates on me:

SIL bigging brother up at EVERY opportunity- ‘ you know your brother, he’s just amazing. Everyone respects him. He has so many degrees, was top of his class- not everyone can handle being around someone like that without being jealous ‘…

SIL and BIL constantly complaining about how hard they work, how difficult their work is, how no one else could ‘ run a company like us ‘. And they’re just so extremely busy, it’s not worth it and they’re so stressed out by their work ( but they don’t want to leave because they have a good lifestyle because of it ). Its constant complains though about how hard it all is and how they’re trying to escape it.

Brother always talking about how fit he is, how strong he is, how he’s now able to compete with XYZ how he came first at XYZ. Brother also talks a lot about all the sacrifices he makes to be ‘ at the top ‘ how he never sleeps, works all hours etc.

they do work really hard ( so do my husband and I ) in fact, my husband and I have worse hours and a lot of stress too- but we don’t really talk or complain about it. If it’s really that bad, walk away ? Everyone makes sacrifices. Not just you. You’re not the only people who work hard. And at least they get the pay off. Lots of people work hard and have no money anyway.

I have probably not really framed this properly. It’s hard to explain it without giving away too much detail. But from what I’ve written, why does it annoy me ? Like I said, I do care about them. Sometimes they don’t do it as much. Other times it’s really constant and I just walk away feeling a bit annoyed.

the interactions just leave me feeling annoyed.

You could cut them down with a sarcastic “Yes, we knowww, you’re brilliant” followed by an eye roll.

Or just close your eyes and make snoring noises when they start up.

Tell them you are going to Tenerife and see what they say 😉

They sound like boring bastards. How often do you have to put up with them?

@wouldthisannoy are you employed or do you run your own businesses too? That could be the reason, having your own business with employees and all the responsibilities is a whole different thing to being employed in an organisation.

not that it excuses them wanging on about it tho

Own business too..

The “Work Smarter, not Harder” rhetoric should be your go to here.
Smart people make their money work for them, not the other way around.
I’d be commiserating that they hadn’t found a way to work more efficiently, if they are still under the cosh of “ The Man”.
Surely if they are that clever, resourceful etc then they should be finding ways to work more efficiently?
Have some fun with it.

People like that don't annoy me, OP. They amuse me. I like to give them space to say lots of silly things & then go home mulling over just what they said & feeling quite entertained by them.

I have a colleague who is a predictable arse. He's quitting. How dare he!! I'm gonna miss him so much.

That’s a good way to deal with annoying people. I try to do that myself - try to treat them like characters in a show and not take things personally -but sometimes my fuse is short!

Never understand pathological braggers. Do they realise how wanky they come across? Obviously not, but it never ceases to amaze me how lacking in self awareness some people are (usually those self declared ‘high performer’ types too - must be compensating for childhood feelings of inadequacy).

I do think it's insecurity because people who are confident in what they're doing and feel accomplished just don't feel the to brag about it. Next time they pipe up I'd just say who are you trying to convince me or you? Ask them if they thought about speaking to a consultant about how to manage their time/responsibilities better .

Why do they feel the need to brag so much?

god they sound exhausting

They sound like my DB and SIL, although mine don't run a business.
No one has ever been as busy or hardworking as them. I couldn't possibly understand how hard it is having 3 DC as I only have 2. I'm a single parent though so couldn't spread the load like they can.

It's bloody exhausting listening to them tbh.

Every time they say they find it so hard/so stressful etc., I would make a sad face and say, ‘Sorry you’re finding it so tough, that sounds very difficult for you. I guess we don’t really think about how others might not find it as easy as we do. Have you thought about practicing mindfulness or yoga?’

Pathological braggers! That's not a term i've heard before but it perfectly fits my MIL!

Ive known her now for 20 years and i swear she treats me sometimes as if we've just met!
Ohhhhhh yes we built this house with our bare hands Laiste! Me and [FIL] .....

🧐 Er, no you didn't. You had the builders in and got the garage converted and barrowed a bit of muck round the front yourselves. DH and i, on the other hand, did actually hand build half our house. We dug the foundations, carried the bricks and built the walls ect. But i don't say that.

Also the repeated stories of how she was irreplaceable when she was working. Each time more and more OTT about how the company would have collapsed if it wasn't for her. She was a secretary. And when she left funnily enough it didn't collapse ...

Anyway i'm being mean now. But yes it is exhausting to listen to OP so 💐

We have similar, but dh's says they've always been like that, so I don't think it is to do with being insecure. I do think being told as a child to be quiet and stop being a show off would have made them a far nicer person. I know colleagues of theirs who thoroughly agree with that too.

I think it actually annoys the hell out of them that we aren't desperately jealous of them.
We have a very different life, different values, different things etc. Nothing wrong with either but different. We'd hate their life; they'd hate ours.

I don't think they really understand anyone who isn't themselves.

They sound unhappy.

Sounds very boring but then lots of relies are boring no?

I'd roll my eyes and tell them that they must be terrible at boundaries if they are getting no down time.

My most used expression with braggrds, bores and idiots is the infamous -
".That's nice" or "Rather you than me, did I tell you I'm doing /going...?"
They both sound like a pair in insecure knobs - B 'never sleeps' -does he think anyone with a brain cell really believes that rubbish? He would get ill very quickly if he didn't not to mention a potentially early grave.

Having a go can be pleasureful, for sure!
Depends on the relationship whether it's worth a confrontation. Someone you can't avoid them for years, so maybe better to put them in the "that's a them not me problem" and then be amused by how it plays out.

I would have laughed, especially at brother going on about how strong he is. They sound ridiculous. You can have a bit of fun with that and take the piss.

Just say, ‘Nige, you and Emma are sounding a bit unhinged about the hard work stuff — why not calm down and take a break? Or see your GP?’