Need a handhold - urgent derm referral for a bad scalp mole 3yo

[CigarettesAndChocolateMilk]

I posted in the Chidren's health but I am feeling so distraught and have no family or friends that I can lean on right now. And I am just looking for a handhold.

I noticed a tiniest strange looking mole on my son's scalp 10 moth ago. I got it checked with a GP straight away who said it looked fine. I do have health anxiety so I was reassured by that and activetly trying not to check it. In 4 months time it grew from about 1-2 mm to 3-4mm. I was immideately alarmed, took it to a GP (though it was another GP at the same practice). I showed them photoes etc. They thought it looked fine, but said came back in a month. We had 3 monthly checks and even though I though it did change further I was trusting that GP was reviewing it and was not alarmed. In January 2026 GP said come back in 6 months time. And I forgot about the mole. Until I was bathing my son a few days ago and I noticed that one part of the mole turned super dark brown, got rough / crusty and raised.

It was a real battle to get my GP to listen even though I sent pictures and I had to go to a private GP to get dermascopy done and then to go back to nhs GP asking for referral. at that point my nhs GP got concerned. He offered sending photos to derm for triage (quickest) or urgernt referal for face to face. I chose derm photos for triage and don't know if it was a right decision. I just feel so out of my depth and feeling I constantly have to find for everything.

I am beyond panicking. I am so worried that it will be cancerous and worse still that it should have been sent to referral half a year ago when I noticed the first growth...

Try not to panic yet.

I've had several moles and growths removed over the last few years (scalp and face, one on my back). All on the fast 2 week pathway due to significant changes and none have come back with any issues. Mine were put down to hormonal changes.
Even with the face to face pathway one of the appointments was to take photos for the consultant to review. I only saw a consultant pre removal for one of them, the rest were assessed by photos then taking me in a week later.

I thought I'd show the progression - this was June / November and now

Thank you. It is helpful to be reminded of it. I am actually awaiting a histology on one of mine that was taken out at the end of Jan but it didnt look or feel as bad as my son's. Mine was dark but smooth and even and soft. And his isnt.

CHILL CHILL CHILL chances of bad moles age 3 are vanishing small

At this age aren’t their moles etc. just growing with them ? Pretty sure my kids’ moles changed through childhood but I was never concerned about them .

I took my five year old to a private dermatologist for a mole that grew rapidly on his finger and she said they literally grow new moles all the time at their age. Could not have been less of concerned. The chances of it being anything worrying are very small.

It's not uncommon for babies/toddlers to develop this type of mole. Some of them can grow quite large (birth mark size). Having it checked by dermatology will put your mind at ease.

Just want to say try not to panic. You are doing and have done, all you can.

I had something like this as a kid! It was nothing! Please don’t worry it will be fine!

Its so, so rare to have a malignant melanoma on a three year old. It's hard to be calm though, when your mind goes straight to catastrophising.
I've always found the mantra " All things are possible but not all things are probable " helpful. Do hope it is all OK, OP. X

Thank you all. I know that the chances that this is melanoma are extremely small but I saw a few reddit stories where dermatologists werent concerned but parents pushed (and much earlier than me! like 6 weeks after the mole appeared) and it did turn out to be melanoma. I apprecieate all messages as it just makes me feel less alone. Not many people i can confide in real life. Just waiting to hear from derm triage now.

I think I am losing it...... So GP sent images to derm last Wednesday, said would chase if no response Monday. Called Monday - no response from hospital yet. Called this morning - still no response from hospital. Told it could be weeks (what??? GP said it would be quicker than f2f referral). I queried if GP chased the hospital as he said he would if they didnt respond by Monday. The asnwer is no. Private derm appt nearest in 7 weeks. I have booked plastic surgeon in 2 weeks (still so slow!) instead just in case. But I am just feeling like there are only closed or slow moving doors everyone and i am the only one pushing. I am scared and my mental health is getting dire. Partner not bothered. I have no family here and no close friends. Not that anyone would be able to help I guess. Why this is so difficult and how one is meant to carry on?

I hope you’re feeling better today. You are doing all you can to keep on top of it and them being a bit slow is probably a good sign they’re not too worried. As you say, it seems very unlikely to be melanoma based on your research so those are all positive things. I know health anxiety can really hit hard sometimes so please do speak to people in real life too who can support you