To ask for transfer

[BadLuck2023]

Basically I was team lead while my boss was away for 5 months for a long term illness (She is ok now)

I had a really horrible run while I was leading with low staff numbers, dealing with lots of burnout within my team and unfortunately had to give out a lot of disciplinary action. I was also getting phone calls on my days off.

I became very tense and wound up, lost 1.5 stone due to stress and could not sleep. My department supervisor asked me to take on the role full time, I declined the role and explained why I was not interested. Now I am back working with the team and it sounds horrible but I cant work with them anymore. I unfortunately resent them. I saw a therapist who said a department change is probably what I need. How do I tell my supervisor?
When I spoke to her the other week she asked why I didnt ask for guidance, however whenever I did, she told me I will figure it out!

I don't see a problem asking for it

Sounds like a fresh start is needed. I understand why you resent your team for being difficult when you would have welcomed their support whilst stepping up. Do you feel like the team resent you for your (I’m sure justified!) actions whilst in a position of authority? Stepping back down can be really tough. Boundaries are blurred between everyone. A transfer would be a good move.

@Pippa12 Im not sure, Im sure some of them probably see me a bit differently. I still have a lot of them coming to me with their issues unfortunately. I had to walk away from one of them just yesterday. I was getting so wound up.

My department supervisor asked me to take on the role full time

Is your boss not coming back? Or is this a new role?

Why are colleagues not going to your boss with their issues if she’s back?

You can always ask but be prepared to be refused as I was when I asked about the possibility of being redeployed from a very problematic and chronically understaffed and supported department with an impossible but totally protected manager.

Now I know HR won't support me I'm looking to leave the organisation completely.

@nomas no she is back however there has been a restructure and she has gone to another area which suits her better. We do have another team lead. Not sure why people keep coming to me but its annoying redirecting them to the lead