Starting to get feelings for my same sex friend

[whothefisalice85]

Can’t really believe I have these feelings. I’m early 40s, friend slightly younger. She’s married and so am I. She has three kids and I have two.

I have no idea how I have found myself in this situation. I love her for many reasons but i have found myself feel more than that over the last few months. I don’t think it’s reciprocated. She’s a lovely person and has a great energy.

Don’t want anything from it, I can’t imagine we would actually be happy being in a a relationship or anything and leaving our marriages and kids even if she did feel the same.

maybe I just ride it out and hope it passes?

Put some distance between you and her and work on your marriage and other friendships

Hello OP, did you post about this last year too?

It’s highly unlikely she feels the same way. Don’t even attempt to see if she does as you’ll lose a friend. Let the feelings pass.

No I haven’t posted before. Yes I will let the feelings pass. There has never been any hint from her towards me or insinuating her feelings towards women either. I’m not delusional, just need to let it pass for sure

You are just mistaking a deep friendship/connection for something more. See a bit less of her - female friendships can get quite intense

There seems to be a similar thread on MN every few weeks.

Lots of women catching feelings for their friends.

Finally an interesting aibu

No idea what I'd do in this situation, following x

I have been in a very similar situation for the last six months. Thought I was getting over it. Then realised I am not...
My advice (which clearly doesn't work!) is have boundaries around contact - try and dial it back just a little bit, no late night messages, don't reply immediately etc. And don't get drunk around her!

A lot of women realise they are bi in their late thirties early forties when the crazy reproduction hormones which drive you towards male pheromones start to dwindle away.

What is she giving you that your marriage isn’t?

It’s hard when you know feelings aren’t reciprocated. But plenty of women realise later in life that relationships/ friendships with other women is what they have been looking for , and yes it can be intense and rewarding. Hard to break up a marriage? Sure.