To struggle to talk to my five year old?

[mrsmufo]

Am I a pretty awful person or do others secretly find this? My five year old talks a lot and to be honest most of it is quite incessant and I find it really irritating sometimes especially if I’m trying to do something else or god forbid TALK to someone else!

I realised this morning I was just longing for him to go to school so I got a break from it and then felt horrible.

So - AIBU and horrible or do others find the same?

If you are busy and especially if your mid conversation with someone else it’s fine to say “I’m busy now but you can tell me in 5 minutes”

Waiting is actually a really important skill for them to learn.

My boy was like that. It was all day every day. It did get draining at times. You’re only human!

I too thought maybe it was just me being a miserable mum but my friend who was a chatterbox herself and amazing with kids took him out for the day and came back just as exhausted! I’d never seen her so drained.

Yes - haven’t got far either that at all and it is frustrating as I’ll be needing to tell DH something semi important and ds is relentlessly trying to talk over us and keep telling him to wait but he won’t take no for an answer and so you end up taking ten times as long conveying something to DH than it otherwise would have taken.

Mine is the very same, she never stops talking. She was still telling me something the other day as she walked into the school gates and into the building, yap yap yap even though I was long gone 😂I try to tune her out quite a bit and throw in a “that’s great!” Here and there. They’ll grow out of it soon hopefully

Kindly, he doesn’t get to take no for an answer. You are allowed to tell him to wait. I’d remove him from the situation if he persists. Initially, conversations will will be harder but in the long run he will understand.

I do tend to get over stimulated if someone is talking to me while I'm trying to do something else. However I think 5-year-olds are so much fun to talk to. They're so interesting.

It sounds like maybe you need to work on teaching him to wait his turn? When my kids were little and I was busy or talking to someone else and they tried to interrupt, I would pause, tell them that someone or something else had my attention, and I would talk with them as I was done. Children that age are not very patient, so you kind of need to wrap up what you're doing or get to a break time pretty quickly to get to them. Because I find that if you say "I will talk to you when I am done," and then you do it, it reinforces the idea that they can wait until you're done. And then eventually they stop interrupting and they are able to wait longer periods of time.

‘So I ‘
‘mummy. Mummy …’
‘wait ds - so’
’MUMMY’
’ds wait - so I -‘
’mummy I …’
’ds not now, I need .’
‘MUMMY’

So I think I am telling him to wait and not giving in but this is what I mean about not saying no. Hand on arm as per Bluey has not worked.

I think it can be useful when you're trying to talk to other people to come at it from when they can speak rather than when they can't. So rather than "wait" you could try "I'm speaking at the moment. When I stop, then it will be your turn"
Or "We both want to speak. So do you want to say your thing first and then be quiet while I speak, or shall I go first?"

At the moment nothing is working. He’s set on speaking so it doesn’t matter what you say to him; he will speak,

Mine talks all the time too. I said everyone needs to think in their own head and can't listen all the time. So I let him talk, but make it clear to him I'm not always listening 😂You could also role play and let him have his own medicine and talk constantly at him! (or make his toys talk constantly at him)
Keep going, you just need to teach/guide him, slowly.
I also try to teach the importance of quiet time.
You can try having a quiet competition...

Tell him once that you are speaking and you will listen to him when you have finished, then ignore him.
It will be difficult to carry on a conversation with him speaking too, but eventually, as long as you ignore him, he should learn it's pointless.

That's what worked for my son anyway.

Does he actually understand what wait means? Like how to wait?

DS I need you to wait until I'm finished speaking, that means no talking. You can wait here or you can go to the other room and play/read/whatever and I'll come and get you when I am finished. Then you can tell me.

We quickly realised that just telling DD an action was pointless if we hadn't actually explained (sometimes several times) what that meant.

I could have written this!!

Normal. My mum once told me that I spoke constantly as a child and she once made a bet with me to not speak for a whole 5 minutes. I couldn't do it, apparently. My sons were the same.

You have to keep at it over and over. Training children in manners takes years.

I thought it would be as easy as telling them something once, but ohhhh noooo.

It takes years.

Both of mine were the same at that age. It wasn't so much the talking as the constant interruption that drove DH and I nuts! They desperately wanted to be part of our conversation even if they had no idea what we were talking about (and they both still do this now, every now and then!). DD is 12 and DS is 7 now, and I'd say DD stopped talking incessantly at about 7 or 8. DS is still chatty and impatient to talk, but not as much as he was!

We tried EVERYTHING. The thing that worked the most was them putting their hand on my arm when they wanted to talk (if I was speaking to someone else) and me putting mine on top to show that I heard them and would get to them when I was done with the other person. And then I'd make sure to be super interested in whatever it was they wanted to say, even if it wasn't interesting! It wasn't 100% and took awhile for them to get the hang of, but it did eventually sink in. This was more DS than DD but I did it with her as well.

I feel for you OP, it can be so draining when they just won't give it a rest.

Yep same here constant talking from the very second their eyes are open.
I also struggle to get him to wait, lots of advise on this, my son has very good manners and I don't believe he's trying to be rude I think they lack impulse control ans perhaps an inner monologue so everything has to be out.
Anyway no you're not a bad person, try to tune out as best you can x

You could play some games taking turns to talk, charades or chuck a ball between you and only the person with the ball can speak. When he interupts mimick zipping your lips hands on ears and repeat he has to wait hia turn.

It does take a long time to teach some manners/social skills.

You must work on that, waiting their turn to talk is a skill children need to learn.
I found it best to acknowledge either by saying “just one minute I’m talking to Daddy right now”
or by looking at them/touching their arm while you finish what you’re saying - so they know they’re not being ignored but also they need to wait