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AIBU?

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Toxic work environment

4 replies

dinglebat2 · 09/03/2026 23:11

I am really struggling with the atmosphere and dynamic at work. It’s a small business with a manager and supervisor in charge. They are very close and have known each other since childhood. And a team of 8 including myself. Manager and supervisor have created a really toxic culture at work. Pleasant to your face but lots of blame and bitching behind backs. Initially it felt like the rest of the team were a unit who understood this and united in thinking they were both twats but recently it’s become obvious that people are snidely throwing each other under the bus so that they aren’t the ones being slagged off. There is no confidentiality, everyone is gossiped about and there’s almost always somebody who is the pariah of the week before they move onto someone else. Last week I was unable to attend an out of hours event (not compulsory to go but if you don’t it’s frowned upon) so it was my turn and I felt so awkward because it was frosty in work all week.
Due to this and some other factors I am seriously thinking about looking for another job but my skills are limited and the hours work for me atm around my three school age kids.
There’s no point speaking to HR as it’s a small business and all the management piss in the same pot so it would get back to them and make my life even harder.
I would like nothing more than to go off sick and just ponder how I can move forward either with a wfh job or doing something totally different like retraining. Don’t want to give details about the job as it’s a niche business and could be outing but basically I have very few specialist skills - I mostly just do admin work.
I never thought I’d be one to be affected by this mean girls bullshit but it’s actually quite soul destroying to work in it daily. I thought these people were friends at one point but now I have seen things in a whole new light. Wwyd?

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 09/03/2026 23:23

It doesn't sound like it's a full time job OP, so no way would I put up with working in an atmosphere like that. Start looking for something else, and in the interim, depending on your other responsibilities, could you consider doing a night class or something to try and improve your skills?

dinglebat2 · 09/03/2026 23:29

Currently working 30 hours - 5 days a week so not full time but a large chunk of my week. However it fits around school and there aren’t many jobs like that in my area. It’s low paid but we do rely on my wage, Dh earns more and we could cope for a few
months but I do need to work.
It’s just a shit show and making me feel quite depressed and anxious. I have no idea why the management would think it’s a good idea to cultivate this sort of atmosphere, it just leads to drama, gossip and upset. They strike me as mean girls who never grew out of the playground so maybe they enjoy it.

OP posts:
dinglebat2 · 10/03/2026 08:25

Bump

OP posts:
SunMoonandChocolate · 10/03/2026 14:03

Sadly there are some places where you do get the feeling that you're still in school, with people talking behind your back, and then shutting up when you walk in the room. It's something I for one have ALWAYS hated, and most recently experienced it whilst working on the beauty counters in a well known store.

If your skills are mainly admin, could you perhaps register with an agency, and see if they can find you something? Or perhaps start up a cleaning business where you can work hours that suit, I used to do several cleaning jobs when my child was in school, and if you're thorough, and reliable, you'll be surprised how much you can earn.

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