AIBU? 23 months old, autism or something else.

[mumstheword1x]

My little boy is 23 months old, but he was born premature, so should really only be 21.5 months old. For some time I’ve been worried about him being non-verbal and the reasonings behind this, he’s been mute for a lot of his life.

he was referred for a hearing test in January 2025, which concluded Glue Ear, follow up in June 2025 also concluded Glue Ear, follow up again on 30th January 2026 concluded: no glue ear in left ear and mild glue ear on the right ear… he had to have TEOAE testing, like the probes in the ear, and his left ear gave a clear response as his right ear no clear response, audiology has discharged him with ‘Satisfactory hearing thresholds in the presence of glue ear’ but have referred him to ENT.

I’ve been worried about him being non-verbal for so long. He’s now started to say words with flash cards, but not clear words- more the sounds / vibrations ( hard to explain ) like he will say ‘haaa’ for ‘hand’, ‘eehh’ for ‘egg’ ‘boo’ for ‘ball’, ‘moo’ for ‘moon’ ‘Leeelon’ for ‘lion’ followed by ‘ore’ for ‘roar’ ‘mee’ for ‘milk’ ‘eees’ for ‘cheese’ - the list goes on here.

but has clear words like ‘oh no’ ‘mummy’ ‘daddy’ ‘bubble’ ‘Nana’ ( for banana ), ‘door’ etc etc

if I was to go by the noises he makes, I’d say he would be close to 30-40 words, but clear solid words approx 8-10?

the reason I am thinking autism is because he’s also very hit and miss with responding to his name, but he does respond sometimes, he also sometimes lays down while playing with his cars and a few of my friends have said ‘maybe you should consider this diagnosis route’ a few times, which is why it’s on my mind.

any one advice? Thanks

It sounds like you had a difficult start with him being born prematurely but very gently, he isn't non verbal when he can say those words and he is attempting to make the sounds of others. His speech actually sounds well within the realms of normal for a 23 month old - particularly if there have been concerns of his hearing.
Have you spoken to your HV about your concerns?

With his hearing problems he's missed out on however many months' worth of listening to and absorbing language. I'd say it's got to be that tbh. When does he see ENT?

Next stop - ENT specialist.
Take their advice.
Sounds like DC doesn't hear acutely for large swathes of his life.

It sounds like his language is progressing and it's not very unusual to have a limited vocab at nearly 2. I definitely wouldn't jump to autism based on what you've said here.

You know your son better, but everything you describe here seems to correlate with his hearing problems. What makes you think there is something more to it?

My DS had no hearing or ENT issues and didn’t say as much as your DS at 23 months. He had barely any words at that age. He finally spoke clearly after he turned 2.5. No further issues and he’s a smart and articulate 20 year old now. It really doesn’t sound concerning to me at this point. But I do understand that it’s easy to worry.

I would say it’s down to the hearing problems. He’s missed many months of hearing clearly.
kindly if he can speak 30-40 words, he isn’t non verbal. My child was non verbal till seven and couldn’t speak a single word.

That doesn't sound non-verbal to me, actually pretty normal for the age especially given the hearing issues?

I understand the anxiety, my eldest was very premature and I worried so much about everything. It's hard. But I really wouldn't worry based on what you've said.

He isn’t non verbal if he’s saying words. Just give him time, now his hearing is satisfactory and started to say words he’ll soon come along with his speech

My neighbour's little boy didn't talk until he was 3. I don't think it is particularly unusual.

I think hold out for the ENT assessment, but it does seem based on information you've put, he is communicating verbally and wants to. At this age lots of speech will be based on hearing and repetition. so if he was struggling in that sense it may show up via language.

he is trying to mimic sounds and making words.

My DB didn’t walk until he was well over a year and hardly spoke until he was three. No hearing or other problems. My parents were worried. The HCPs were not, and they were correct.

DB grew up to earn a PhD from one of the snootier Ivy League universities and have a very successful career. After a slow-ish start in primary school he also became reasonably sporty.

No one can guarantee that any 23 mo old will not be ND, but I would listen to your HV and HCPs rather than the other mums. Easier said than done, I know. Take care.

PS My message was for OP, in support of what @Ssmiler wrote

He's had glue ear which has slightly delayed speech. My 3.5yo has only just started trying to make the sounds of words and his ears are perfect. He's on the pathway due to a host of other issues. Your little one sounds perfectly fine

My son's speech was very unclear still at the age of 3. He had issues with hearing, resolved after grommets. He used to babble away but it was hard to understand his words. I was concerned as my older two had been clear fluent talkers from a young age. But he's fine. He learned to read quickly and is bright.

How clear is your speech @mumstheword1x and how much do you talk to him.

Is it "good morning Tom, look at the lovely yellow sun and blue sky. Shall we have a brown egg and toast for breakfast" or "y'awight Tommo, sun's aht, let's getcher jamas off and ave some brekkie".

Toddlers are champion at ignoring their names. He’s talking! Kindly, it sounds like you’re worrying over nothing and I’d bet his language comes along hugely in the coming weeks and months. Especially given he had hearing difficulties. Keep talking to him / narrating what you’re up to. And most kids line stuff up for a bit, isn’t it a schema? Developmentally normal.

He sounds fine OP. Well within the boundaries of normal.

What an astonishing and completely irrelevant attack on regional accents. 🤨

I have 2 autistic children and one had glue ear.

I think rather than language it is more about their general understanding at this stage - eg do they copy or mimic you or others? Do they show ‘shared attention’ eg bring a toy or book to show you? Can they understand simple instructions eg ‘bring me your coat/ shoes’ or ‘put your hat on’ (this is if it’s autism with a social communication delay)

It sounds like he couldn’t hear very well for most of last year and still can only hear properly in 1 ear so I wouldn’t be looking at his speech as an indicator of anything other than ENT issues. He simply hasn’t had a normal exposure to language. And 30-40 is very far from non verbal! 50 words and a 2 word sentence would be expected by age 2 so he doesn’t sound a million miles off. As for ignoring their name, he doesn’t have clear hearing in one ear so he may not be able to hear you especially if there’s background noise or you’re behind him or on the wrong side. Or he might be hearing you just fine and ignoring you because toddlers be toddlers. None of them respond consistently! See the ENT and go from there.

He’s not “non-verbal”, he has delayed speech development most likely due to his hearing problems.

Children develop at different rates. My son has no issues with hearing or development and still didn’t say his first proper word until 19 months, but caught up rapidly after that.

If you are worried you could speak to your GP to see if he would benefit from a referral to speech and language therapy. I certainly wouldn’t be jumping straight to ASD though - it’s far too early to tell and the hearing issues are much more likely to be the cause.

I don't think either of your examples are better speech? One is more regional/colloquial. Kids would mimic either, and both would be fine for speech development.

Yeah… id ignore this idiot lol