Play date expectations

[WhatIsPink]

my DC is in Yr 2 and recently we had someone new came to our house to play. Once the child arrived and they headed to upstairs to play which seemed pretty standard to me but then at some point the play date decided to play hide and seek by just hiding and my DC had a trouble finding the play date (in DC’s own hose, i know!). I didn’t think much but thought it was a bit much to go around and hide around someone’s house without even agreeing it’s a game. Anyway, fast forward, the child left and at night, I discovered that they’ve been all rooms and moved things out of storage etc, as well as our master bedroom which our DC knows is a no go. I don’t know whether our DC knew the playdate went in there but I can see things are moved so would have been. Our master bedroom door was closed but I feel I didn’t close it. Overall, It’s not a massive mess.

i feel if I’m too relaxed without giving them the ground rules? Or should I have expected the child of that age to respect other people’s house? I mean it’s 6/7 years old we are talking about here. Have I got too high expectations?

Yes.
Not reasonable to expect a 6.year old to know ground rules for your house without explaining them - master bedroom thing might not apply to their house so how would they know

6/7 is really young. I used to have activities downstairs to be able to keep an ear out at that age. Unsupervised upstairs probably more from 8 but ensure dc knows rules and be present (take towels up to put in the airing cupboard/pop an extra loo roll in the upstairs loo etc). Bedroom door always open.

Year 2 is still quite young. Children that age sometimes forget that other people can't read minds. The guest probably assumed your dc knew they were playing hide and seek.

I wouldn't want play date guests going into my bedroom either but if they did, I wouldn't be particularly annoyed unless I had explicitly told them not to and they ignored the instruction.

Moving things out of storage is unacceptable. Going into a room and looking for a place to hide is one thing; messing about with things that don't belong to you is another.

You left a 6/7 year old unsupervised upstairs and didn't tell them your house rules, which may not be the same as the rules they have at home. If you're upset it's your own fault. You were the adult.

Respect means different things to different people. My children are absolutely allowed in my bedroom for example. And I'm not sure what the issue with hide and seek is. It's a perfectly normal game.

The child is 6 or 7. You seem to have very high expectations for such young children.

The main point of playdates is for children to experience not everyone lives as they do, and it's a learning curve for them to realise different homes have different rules and expectations, some parents are firmer than others etc. It's perfectly reasonable, necessary even, to show them where those boundaries are for you. Just a friendly 'Not in our room please guys!' as they go up the stairs should do it. It's also perfectly reasonable to give them a 10 minute warning before tea to get tidying up. Set up an egg timer, set an alarm or play music a music track they have to beat to give it an element of competition/fun, but be firm that it needs to be done before they eat. And don't be afraid to have boundaries about what they play with too. Ask your kids before they come if there's anything they'd really rather not have to share, and pop it away. As an adult I might invite my friends around for a board game or something - that doesn't mean I want them commandeering my laptop!