To think it’s ok to leave them for a bit?

[ButteryBreadPudding]

I would like to start dating but as a solo parent I have my children all the time, I have been single for years and deliberately waited until my children have grown up a bit as I had no intentions to ever leave them with sitters (no judgment to others just wasnt something I would consider) they are now teens/ preteens and im considering dating now. Would it be ok to leave them for a couple of hours to go on dates in the evening? What age would this be acceptable? Aibu to leave them for a few hours? Ages 15-9 I usually leave them alone to go shopping or to appointments sometimes so they are use to it but this feels different for some reason am I being silly?

Christ at age 15 the oldest could be babysitting other families on their own.

unless you are going to drip feed severely disabled

Of course it's ok, 15 yr old is old enough to babysit. I just wouldn't be too far away and keep in touch with them by text.

Thanks both, I guess it’s just mum guilt as im not use to have any sort of life outside of parenting!

15 is old enough to babysit.

I think you have to be clear though that the 15 yo is babysitting those children too young to be left alone - anyone 12 or younger if it’s in the evening, or a perhaps 10 or younger of it’s during the day. So they’re in charge of those younger ones.

I always pay my eldest to babysit too, so it’s taken seriously as a responsibility. It’s not a case of just “leaving them for a bit”. It’s leaving the younger ones in the care of the older.

Christ, more than old enough.

I get your concern, but the 15 yo is actually old enough to babysit, so you’ll not actually be doing anything wrong.

As long as they usually get along and the 9 yo knows the eldest is in charge, then it’ll be fine.

Ideally, don’t go too far from home though.

Payment is a good idea.

I would likely not leave a 15 year old in charge of 9 year old son bling, it depends quite a lot on the dynamic but I don't think children should be helping with childcare (other chores around the house yes, but not childcare). I would get a babysitter.
Or do daytime dates when they are at school. To be honest I don't think I'd bother with dates so my opinion may be skewed. I would do things for myself for sure but I wouldn't be looking for a relationship until they were actually grown up. Apologies if you're also not looking for a relationship and just want casual dates/FWB type thing. I just wouldn't want to introduce DC to a new partner.

No I want a relationship.

Thanks all looks like im worrying for nothing

Well if you're leaving your children at home make sure some adult knows where you are and be careful for your safety, don't introduce them too soon.
I personally would wait if I actually wanted a relationship. A fling where they don't meet your kids noone is any the wiser. A relationship where you introduce an adult to your children and it could all go wrong - I wouldn't do that whilst they're still children. I know many people do but I've seen too many children get hurt (within my own family), or have no say in blended families to know it's not for me.

I won’t be waiting till they’re adults thats like 10 years no thanks.

I've been a single parent for 7 years but never dated.

I don't feel its appropriate that my older dc look after the younger ones and I can't afford childcare.

How many children? You say ages 15-9 which suggests several kids in the age range? So if it's 15,14,9 for example that's much more reasonable than if you have 15,11,10 and 9 yr old twins for example.

If the eldest is happy being in charge, they are old enough to babysit. I think I'd pay them, since it's babysitting.

Yeah he is happy and confident as I said I already leave him to watch them if I go shopping or to appointments it was just this that had me second guessing myself