Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hysterectomy Advice

5 replies

HoskinsChoice · 08/03/2026 16:28

My neighbour is very elderly (about 90 I think). She is quite remarkable for her age, does all her own cooking and cleaning, takes herself off for days off etc. She is incredibly independent mostly because she's perfectly capable but she's also got the classic older person stoicism - she will bite your head off and tell you she is not old if she senses you're questing her ability. She almost never accepts help when offered.

She has pretty much zero family except for her son who lives with her. He works away for weeks at a time but, even when he's there, he's useless. He's a grade A dickhead - he doesn't even take her to the shops or get food in for her in the dead of winter. We can pretty much rule him out of offering help, despite the fact he lives there.

So, on to the point! She is having a hysterectomy in a couple of weeks. I believe it will be laparoscopic & vaginal removal which is good news as I believe that has a quicker recovery time. I have no experience of this either personally or with anyone else I know. Can anyone give me an idea of how well/unwell she will be when she comes out of hospital? How long will it be before she can get around for herself? Will she be able to get out of bed or go up/down stairs? If not for how long?

Secondly, apart from shopping & cooking for her, is there anything else I should do either because she will need it or just because it's a nice thing to do for someone in this position?

I am massively out of my depth with this sort of thing so any thoughts or advice is welcome. Thanks!

OP posts:
StandingOnaCornerInWinslowArizona · 08/03/2026 16:36

I'm 53 and due a hysterectomy any time now.

I've been advised not to do any lifting of any kind for several weeks after and to take it very easy. My sister in law ignored this advice after her hysterectomy and ended up back in hospital and on the operating table.

I've joined a few support groups for post hysterectomy and most up and and about around 6 weeks post op but say it can take a full year to completely heal.

I'm assuming at 90 your neighbour is having the op due to cancer or a very severe prolapse, I can't imagine them offering this op unless it was absolutely necessary.

The hospital will not discharge if they know she has no help at home and will offer 6 weeks post discharge care plan which your neighbour should accept.

ImSoMuchOlderThanICanTake · 08/03/2026 16:38

My recovery was a breeze, but I was half her age!

The advice is not to carry anything heavier than a cup of tea afterwards, but I was cooking dinner, loading the dishwasher, hanging out washing etc within 2 days. Back at full time work in 4 weeks, the delay was just due to preferring not to drive so soon. I had previously seen and spoken to someone 2 weeks after her op and she found the same.

She will be able to get upstairs and in/out of bed fine if she could before. Constipation due to the drugs and lack of movement can be an issue, so daily fybogel might help so she isn’t straining to go. She won’t be able to carry shopping or push a hoover around.
The best advice I got was off here. As soon as she gets home encourage her to walk 5 minutes every day for the first week, adding 5 mins per week so that, by week 6, she’s walking 30 mins per day. You lose muscle really quickly doing nothing and it takes longer to recover.
You sound like a lovely neighbour. The biggest issue was boredom tbh so either a trip to the Libra r to stock up before hand or a daily cuppa and a chat would be lovely. I hope all goes well for her.

HoskinsChoice · 08/03/2026 16:41

Thanks @StandingOnaCornerInWinslowArizona She thinks she's coming out the day after but I am assuming that is wildly optimistic. One of the issues is that she will tell the doctors that she has her 'wonderful son' at home so they will think she has support. In reality, he will be in the pub/the bookies or his bed.

Yes, cancer. Early stage thankfully.

I hope your op goes well. Thanks again.

OP posts:
ImSoMuchOlderThanICanTake · 08/03/2026 16:46

Cross post with you @StandingOnaCornerInWinslowArizona i hope all goes well for you. I was on a few support threads at the time I had mine and they really recovered the same as me tbh so hopefully you are as pleasantly surprised too.

HoskinsChoice · 08/03/2026 16:51

Thanks @ImSoMuchOlderThanICanTake This fills me with hope! She takes herself off to the shop every day, it's a mile round trip so she's incredibly fit for her age. Hopefully that will stand her in good steady for her recovery.

I think she will cope with the boredom better than someone of your age as she's more used to pottering around at home. She reads a lot and is very happy listening to music or watching the TV. I've bought her some books.

My next dilemma is whether to drop hints to my other neighbours. She doesn't want anyone to know other than me. Unfortunately, I'm one of the least able to give her loads of time for coffee and chat because of work and a very energetic rescue puppy. I have other neighbours who are retired and have much more time than I do. I'll cross that bridge when she gets out of hospital!

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page