To ask reception parents how may parties they’ve been to?

[rainyetagainonasunday]

We have only been to two from reception. It’s a fairly small class (only fifteen children.)

Is this common? I see a lot of people saying they are at parties most weekends but that doesn’t seem to be the case here.

I don’t know how the smaller groups will work with fifteen children, to be honest. I think I’ll be doing whole class parties for a loooong time 😩

It's interesting people saying they will wait til year 1 to hold parties. Working with that year group, the norm seems to be bringing in sweets or cake to hand out at school. Only a handful have brought in invites for staff to give out (and that is only around 8 children which may be split between the two classes of 30). Children don't seem to mention parties either so I don't think it's the case parents do the inviting outside of school.
I think it's interesting that the cost of living has been mentioned as this could be a big factor. A few years ago the deal at a trampoline park near me was for 8 children, included trampoline socks, slushy drink for less than £100. It's now £120 for 6 children, bottle of water and socks are extra. The obvious solution is to book not as a party, but then if wanting a private room (for food after) you cannot book that that without the party booking.

My DD didn’t go to many parties throughout primary school. In Reception there was only one all-class party, it just wasn’t the done thing at DDs school, thank goodness! DD only ever wanted 2 friends at her birthday party so we went and did an activity such as go- karting. I really wouldn’t worry about the number of birthday parties they do/don’t go to. DD wasn’t bothered and as I worked full time I preferred to keep our weekends for us to spend out time together.

DD’s reception class had about 40 kids split into two classes. I’d say we we did (or were invited to) at least 20 parties across the whole year, so about half of the kids. These were mainly whole year parties where all kids were invited. I remember one weekend there was three!

I’ve never given invites out for staff to give out. I just invited everyone on the class WhatsApp and then sent invitations to other friends via WhatsApp as well.

I would say prices for a whole class party are around £500-800. It’s a LOT. So I do get it. Depends how you do it of course.

We went to 2 in reception. None so far in year 1. We do however live in a very deprived area- 70% of her class are on free school meals.. We also didn't do one for her birthday (we were 200 miles away with dad in hospital, promised to do something when school returned in September and dad died- I didn't feel up to it!!)

It's when you have two children both in the early years of primary that this tends to happen I think. We have a party today, two next weekend and one the weekend after. We haven't been to one for a few weeks though.

You don’t have to invite everyone in the class if you don’t want to. It only takes one parent to stop doing it and everyone with breathe a sigh of relief and stop doing it too. Just tell your child to pick 3-5 friends.

Have been to 8, or 9 if you include my son's. We have 5 more in the diary for next few months. Two form entry. Very diverse and mixed school (London) so not sure ethnicity comes into it, but it is an affluent area so expect it's as families can afford the circa £500 for a class party!

In a similar class size and parties aren’t as common as I thought they would be, although there is the occasional party I know my kid isn’t invited to.

But winter birthdays are expensive - when a basic soft play party is coming in at £400 (without cake and extras), I suspect people are cutting back

Around 8 but a few have been combined parties of two children. 3 more in the diary. Class of 30 though.

In reception some people might have had nursery and out of school friend at parties instead, especially the earlier birthdays when the kids hadn't really made friends yet.

Reception we had what seemed like constant parties, but I think some of that was DS' birthday is very early in the school year and we had a whole class party because we just didn't know who his friends would be at that stage, so you then get lots of reciprocal invitations, about half were whole class the rest about 15 children. I'd say about 15 parties in Y1 and now he's in Y2 10-12 of the children he's closest to, parties now tend to be an activity for a dozen children or fewer, things like cinema, bowling, laser tag etc.
Class size started at 30 now I think 27

To add it's a very mixed catchment 38% FSM, and ethnically and socio-economically diverse

Interesting! My experience with my older DC and now with my 5YO has definitely been all the kids have a whole of class party. Then with my eldest the smaller groups started in Y3 and now in Y4 she’s only had 1 invite so far this year because her close friends are all summer babies.

I agree with those saying it likely follows a trend and kids will expect a party if everyone else has one but if it’s less of a thing at your school and their friends haven’t had them then they’re less likely to ask.

My DC’s school is about a third from African or Caribbean backgrounds, a third Muslim, and a third European/British. In general, it’s only the European/British that hold birthday parties for school friends. If you then divide a class of 30 by sex, that leaves about five children of the same sex who might give parties in a whole school year. Never any whole class parties.

But five friends from a class of fifteen still means leaving out two boys (as honestly it’s unlikely he’d invite the girls) which feels mean.

Anyway, I don’t really mind for all I grumble; it’s just the cost!

If parents don’t want to come they don’t have to; it’s an invitation not a summons. I’d hate for anyone to be thinking ‘oh no’ about a party; they’re supposed to be enjoyable!

7 or 8. They all went to preschool together though, so I’m not sure if that makes
a difference.

Absolutely loads. Reception classes of 30 for my dds. Lots of girls parties and 2/3 boys parties I think it’s disproportionate

Invited to 5 full class in total, but only attended 2 and won't do our own. I know one or two other parties that haven't been full class as well, so probably over half the class has already had their birthday (small class too)
My older DC had multiple parties in the same weekend as they started during COVID and once restrictions were properly lifted all the parents booked a full class party. Think we were only one of 2/3 in the class that didn't.

I had a friend always moaning ‘another bloody party this weekend’ - I told her to just say no! Think yourself lucky op. 4 across the year sounds right imo.

Maybe it depends what you do at the weekends - ds has swimming Saturday morning and rugby Sunday mornings but other than that it would be a park or soft play or some sort of ‘kid’ activity, so a party is the same but a) someone else has paid and b) he gets to have fun with friends. I don’t know what’s not to like? But maybe MN children are more cultured than mine!

Yes this was our logic for DS. Early Oct bday and also didn’t want pressure of having to organise a big party while navigating the start of school life in the first few weeks. Will definitely do one at the start of year 1 when he turns 6.

Our DS is in Reception in a class of 26. So far only 1 child who has turned 5 hasn’t had a party. I expect by the end of the school year we will have had well over 20.

The class is not at all diverse so none of the religious or cultural differences in approach as experienced by others as there are no children from those backgrounds.

It has worked well for us as many of children including my DS didn’t know any other children when they started there and of course the parents didn’t know each other either so it has been good way for everyone to meet up and bond. I imagine yr1 onwards will have smaller parties as friendship groups develop.

When my daughter was in reception she got 1 party invite the whole year, which felt really odd to me, as all my friends with children at other primary schools in reception got tons! However, from year 1 onwards, once she’d made a solid friendships , she’s had about 6 or 7 party’s a year. She’s in year 6 now.
i think it depends on the school, class, parents etc - the school she goes too isn’t in an affluent area so I think the parents tend to do parties just for closest friends (if at all) , not whole class parties, which is fair enough and we do the same. It seems pointless to pay for a whole class when she’d rather spend her time with her besties x

It depends on a number of factors. Budget, and the fact that it's been the 'cold and wet' half of the year being the main ones. Many people, particularly in cities, live in homes that are just too small to host a kids party - Summer birthdays can have big outdoor party in the park which is quite cheap to run. Children with birthdays in Winter will have parties indoors, but not everyone can afford to hire out a venue and invite the whole class.
DC's class had a huge imbalance between the sexes too (16:6 in reception) and the invitations to small parties do seem to split heavily down boy-girl lines, so that impacted how many invitations some got.
Some kids get no party at all... or just have a birthday tea with granny/cousins etc.