Over 40 units of alcohol in 3 nights

[Question2288]

I think I already know the answer to this…..

Kept an eye on DHs alcohol consumption since Thursday - just standard nights in at home watching TV.

41 units in 3 nights - not normal? He says it is and I wouldn’t know because I don’t drink 😣

That’s absolutely not normal, particularly if none of it was consumed on a “big” night out.

It’s more than a standard size bottle of spirits.

You know deep down it’s not normal OP, has it always been like this?

You do know the answer to this and so does the NHS

NHS alcohol consumption guidelines

is it impacting your life?

If this is a regular thing then no that's not good at all.

Is this typical

so drinks the same most weeks

'You wouldn't know because you don't drink'??

Does he not know there's a great big thing out there called the internet that's quite informative?

Churchill was drinking like that, and he ran the War effort. I read somewhere that the Queen Mother was on about 70 units a week, and she lived to 101.

I'd say that's a lot, but not wildly outside of normal, if it were occasional. I've certainly drank that amount over 3 days before, especially in my 20s, but only at a festival or if friends were visiting and we were out clubbing or similar.

If it's just casually most weeks, then yes it's odd and problematic imo. Obviously the effects onthe body are well documented, but even if he's not bothered about that (which I know not everyone is), it's still hefty in terms of how it must be effecting his mood / spending / ability to get stuff done / ability to drive the next day etc.

Queen Mother probably had better health care than you're average schmuck though tbf.

Probably true, but I’m not sure being a functional alcoholic is particularly desirable.

What's your point?

This sounds like the equivalent of the stories people like to tell about knowing someone who smoked 60 cigarettes a day and lived to be 100.

If you are trying to minimise the seriousness of the amount of alcohol OP's H is drinking you are doing her a total disservice. The recommended number of weekly alcohol units are there for a reason.

Why does he need over 13 units of alcohol when at home watching TV?

His comeback to you is absurd @Question2288

The recommended weekly allowance is 14 units and to be spread out over the week with at least a couple of nights without any.

So yes OP 41 units in 3 days is excessive drinking. No harm done if it was a one-off but if this is a regular pattern then your DH should look at cutting-back.

A bottle of wine is about 10 units so this is the equivalent of about 4 bottles over 3 days. I can see why he thinks that’s isn’t too bad, because lots of people drink a bottle of wine in a sitting, but it’s definitely too much.

How is it affecting him? Poor sleep? Tired in the morning? Relationship with you?

A bottle of wine a night isn't that unusual for many people.
Thinking about it, quite a few couples i know have at least one bottle between them at dinner.

Agreed, it’s about 3/4 bottles of wine over 3 nights, I think it’s not that unusual to drink a bottle in a night - if it was every single week yeah maybe it’s a lot but as a one off I don’t think it’s anything major.

Both the QM and Princess Margaret were well known to be pissed most days from afternoon onwards, starting with dubonnet & gin at lunch together every day. Both alcoholics, which probably contributed to them both being insufferable.

A week. Not over 3 days.

I like my pint OP, but that is excessive by any margin.

The royals and Churchill aren't great examples. Churchill was severely depressed. Princess Margaret had mental health problems, then serious physical health problems from her 60s and died before her mother.

If the OP's DH drinks like that all the time he is likely to be hitting almost 100 units a week.

I like wine and I'm not the "I have a thimble of baileys at xmas" mumsetter.

I think drinking 13 units on a Friday or Saturday night isn't very unusual (although it is unhealthy and counts as binge drinking), although most people drinking this would be doing something or socialising, not drinking alone. That he's drinking alone and drinking this way two nights in a row makes it much more of a worry.

Drinking 13 units on a work night in front of the TV isn't typical by quite a long way. This suggests he isn't getting hangovers and has built up quite a tolerance.

The denial that this is OTT boozing is also a concern. If he's drinking like this every/most nights this is definitely hazardous alcohol consumption and he is well on his way to a dependency.

Why are you tracking DH drinking?

This is probably the least of your issues.

I take it he's comfortable with what he's doing. What do you want to change and why?

@BlueMum16 his drinking will be affecting the OP in lots of ways. And I’m sure she’s concerned for his health and how this is progressing…

Regarding the question of why I am tracking his drinking - this is the first time I’ve done it, and I wanted to gauge exactly the size of the potential issue I am dealing with.

7 days of tracking, and a total of 65 units (that I’ve seen). Whilst just being at home, no nights out at all. It seems a ridiculously high amount to me, but I am essentially teetotal and never drink at home.

Any days of not drinking @Question2288 ? Or does he "have" to drink every day? Either way, it does sound like he's on his way to dependency. It's not full-on non-functioning alcoholism, but a bottle of wine every day does make you a bit of a lush imo.

How is he in terms of behaviour etc? Is it just his health you worry about, or is there more to it? If the former, then I guess it's his choice. Plenty of people have spouses who smoke or are morbidly obese or whatever, and are happy in their relationships generally, even though it must be hard for them to watch their partners engage in unhealthy habits. If it were me, I'd still be quite blunt and tell him it's not normal, rather than pretending it was. I guess there's always the possibility he'll stop being in denial. If he's drinking all your money away and being a rude, drunken, hazardous arse then it's a whole other level of serious.

I don't think four bottles of wine over a weekend is completely crazy but if it continues in the week that's different. 60 units over a week is a lot.