Accused of being drunk

[ForCraftyKhakiGuide]

For the past few weeks I've been suffering with dental pain. I needed to have my wisdom teeth removed and also one other wobbly tooth that has been causing me problems. I had the day off yesterday and in the afternoon had my wisdom teeth removed and also the wobbly tooth. I also have a dental plate where I have 2 front false teeth on. I'm 59 btw if that's relevant

I was meant to be in work today, but I was in a lot of pain last night and feeling really unwell, so I called work last night and said I wouldn't be in tomorrow. I rarely have time off work, so I didn't think it would be a problem. Obviously, when I called, my mouth was still numb, the anaesthetic was still wearing off, I had taken strong painkillers and wasn't wearing my dental plate, so my speech was clearly not going to sound normal.

Since then, I have had some messages from colleagues/friends who have told me that the senior that took my call has told everyone that I was 'smashed' (i.e. drunk) and that's why I was calling in sick.

The senior member of staff in question, knew about my dental appointment today, as she had noticed that I'd just been eating soup all week and I told her that I was in a bit of pain, but was having extractions on Friday. She was sympathetic at the time, but I assume when she took the call from me, she probably had forgotten.

I'm obviously annoyed and mortified about this, and I'm worried that my Manager will hear about this and think I called in sick to work because I was drunk.

Should I go to my Manager directly on Monday, or just take the senior member of staff aside and speak to her directly about it. If so, what should I say? I have emails/texts from dentist to prove that I had an appointment for extractions yesterday.

How can you respect her after this...? Did she respect you when she spread this around?

You need to squash this as soon as possible and make sure she understands that it was completely inappropriate to be making assumptions about you then telling others. How you do this is up to you.

You have to report, what if the next person has been hospitalised by her abusive partner, that is definitely something that should not be shared

A very good point. Nothing personal should be shared like this. The saying "gossip can kill" needs to be harshly remembered here.

She hasn't cared about you, or your reputation or career has she?

I am.raging on your behalf op!
Escalate this

I would be absolutely fuming!

Could it be a case of Chinese whispers and what she actually said was that you sounded drunk on the phone - which you did due to the treatment ?

The thing is though, OP wasn’t drunk. I see the point you’re trying to make but that would not be a comparable situation.

This colleague has spread lies about OP and should face the consequences for that. She’s a nasty piece of work.

Well there are two issues.

Firstly spreading the untrue rumour the OP.was drunk when she was in fact recovering from dental surgery and seecondly breaking confidence about personal issues. IF the OP had called in sick because she was drunk it would still have been wrong of the manager to tell others.

OP I would raise it in person with the manager, saying your are hurt and disappointed by her spreading maicious and untrue gosspi about you that will damage you professional reputation Also make it very clear to her that sharing any personal medical details is a serious issue and you will be raising it with HR.

Smashed to me means absolutely exhausted rather than drunk.

Is it possible she said "poor op, she sounded absolutely smashed when I spoke to her on the phone" and they've taken it to mean drunk?

“Since then, I have had some messages from colleagues/friends who have told me that the senior that took my call has told everyone that I was 'smashed' (i.e. drunk) and that's why I was calling in sick.”

So it’s not even one ill-judged comment, she has said this to multiple people and several of them have been so concerned that they let you know about it. You must report this. Don’t worry about her getting into trouble, she didn’t worry about you.

The point I am trying to make is that all a a manager should tell colleagues is ‘so and so won’t be in today.’
The type of leave they are on is personal private information and should be between the manager and the person who is off.

It could be sick leave, compassionate leave, parental leave, not sure what leave you take if you are in the cells having failed a drink driving test, leave for having a miscarriage when no one even knows you are pregnant, or there must be other circumstances I can’t think of, but all are private and colleagues only need to know you won’t be in today.

I would be very angry about this, and would be raising it with HR and making sure the manager could actually manage a much more delicate reason for not being at work today. It’s private, not office gossip.
Managers have to be able to hold confidentiality, and just keep repeating redfish cat is not in today.

Hope all goes well for you today OP and please update us when you have chance

This is bullshit. It's really unprofessional of the senior to be calling you 'smashed' and claiming your sickness was fake.

Presumably you explained your predicament to them so they knew why you sounded weird/slurry. I always say straight away ' sorry I can't talk properly, I've just had my teeth removed'.

You should escalate it higher up as they are smearing your professional reputation. Based on genuine illness.

Plus what 'smashed' person would phone up rather email when they knew they were fucked. In fact they'd call in when hungover the next day surely? Not the night before.

This. How awful.

Your Senior needs to learn from this.

Stop being so nice, she’s caused her own issues and she needs to learn from her his!

*this

Wow! I am so angry on your behalf. I would be confronting the "senior" directly and asking her why she felt it appropriate to discuss the reason for my absence with colleagues and why exactly she described me as "smashed" and "drunk" when she knew I had dental extractions and therefore had a numb mouth.

I would also tell her that I'd be summarising our meeting by email and I would be including HR as I am justifiably upset.

From a management perspective that is so out of order - obviously you never discussion valid (or even suspect invalid) reasons with other members of staff. That's awful. I hope you successfully resolve it and she apologies.

Agree. What a piece of work x

Could you speak to her about it and give her the opportunity to put this right?
If so, do that first.
If not, HR .