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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Pocket money when they don’t go out

17 replies

rainbowpace · 07/03/2026 12:45

My eldest daughter is 10 and rarely goes out without us, she does go to activities that are prepaid or have a friend over to eat or go to them but she mainly comes out with us where everything is paid for as a family by me or husband.
Youngest daughter is 8 with additional need so doesn’t have many friends to go out with and likes to stay in after school or we go out as a family.
I occasionally give them money if we are going on holiday or if the eldest is going out I’ll give her the money for archades or cinema and refreshments but should I be giving them pocket money each week?
How much and if I do would that be instead of buying sweets and things for them when we’re out together?
What do other people do at this age?

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 07/03/2026 12:49

I think pocket money could be earned for doing basic chores or ‘extra’ chores, and it should cover - saving up for toys or clothes or accessorizes, or stationary books magazines etc that you wouldn’t normally buy them (birthday present type stuff,

DameOfThrones · 07/03/2026 12:56

I think if you gave them a small amount per week and taught them to save, this would encourage good habits.

Maybe speak to them about what they might like to save up for.

How much you give is entirely up to you.

cherryfizzpopbang · 07/03/2026 13:02

My mother in law gives my teenagers £10 a week, they go out most weekends. She wanted to give my 7yo £10 and I told her not to bother anything because he doesn't go anywhere but she refused, so gives him £5. It sits in his bank until he wants something like robux or a big box of maltesers haha.

I don't give pocket money, but if they are out and need a little extra then I give them a few quid here and there.

Ilovepastafortea · 07/03/2026 13:04

Having pocket money teaches children about handling & managing money, budgeting & saving for things that they want.

Our DCs had weekly pocket money from about the age of 5 & would spend it on sweets, comics etc. We rarely bought them sweets as that was what their pocket money was for - DH would take them to Woolworths on Saturday mornings to buy some pick & mix with their pocket money & they soon learned that if they chose lighter sweets they would get more for their money(!) They also learned that if they spent all their pocket money on Saturday they would have nothing left until the next Saturday so if we went out on Sunday (which we often did) they had no money to spend..

We didn't pay DCs for their basic chores such as keeping their bedrooms tidy, loading/unloading the dishwasher, putting the bins out etc, as they were expected to help out in house that they lived in. Afterall no-one paid me or DH for doing chores. However, they could earn extra money for extra jobs such as washing the car, cutting the grass that kind of thing. Once they were old enough they worked in DH's businesses earning the same hourly wage as other employees & we stopped giving them pocket money.

mindutopia · 07/03/2026 13:06

Mine is 13 and we don’t give her pocket money. We give her money as needed when she needs to go somewhere. We live in the middle of nowhere, so she literally has nowhere to spend it unless we drive her there.

She is shortly starting her first job. Will probably earn about £150 a month. She will have access to that in a bank account, with some siphoned off for savings. But not for online purchase, so she can spend it if she goes to town with a friend or at the cinema. Hoping she’s able to clock onto the value of money when it’s hers and not ours. She already chooses to save birthday money, etc.

BlueMum16 · 07/03/2026 13:17

I have never given mine pocket money. Grandad gave £2 or £5 a week for helping out/washing the car etc.

They have had various clubs, school trips, mobile phones etc paid for. 100s each month.

DS didn't go out much (covid years). DD did a bit more so I'd then give her the occasional £5 or £10 depending where she was going.

Now they both have Saturday jobs from age 16.

JustGiveMeReason · 07/03/2026 13:32

Having pocket money teaches children about handling & managing money, budgeting & saving for things that they want.

This.
It is about learning that feeling of the value of money, when they are still ata stage when it doesn't really matter to the family budget if they get it wrong.
Learning how satisfying it is to buy something they have saved up for.

Learning how frustrating it is to want something when they "frittered" their money and didn't have anything left because they chose not to save.
Learning about value for money - things like buying sweets in a supermarket or newsagent beforehand rather than trying to but sweets at the cinema, or learning that if they get their books from the library they still get to read what they want and have their money rather than buying books new. Or that there is a compromise in buying their books at fetes, car boots and charity shops.

Ours started getting pocket money at 7, when we felt they had the "maths" to work out savings and spends for themselves.

But yes, at that stage, you stop buying them sweets.

You also need to invest a little bit of time in taking them to shops to compare prices, or to fetes and car boots, and taking them to Poundland to help them with the idea of buying something for family member's birthdays / Christmas / Mothers and Fathers Days.

SkankingWombat · 07/03/2026 13:43

My DCs have received pocket money from a very young age. Initially it was as an alternative to star charts (eg 2p for each thing on their chart completed) and to help with counting, adding and subtracting.
They are 9 & 11yo now and the purpose has shifted more to money management. The 9yo gets £5pw cash and the 11yo now has a bank account so gets her £10pw as a mixture of cash and bank transfer. It is higher than I think they need but it's DH who sorts it out and It isn't earned or linked to the chores we'd expect as standard, but is docked for bad behaviour. They mostly use it for buying their own treat food/snacks/sweets plus anything else that's a 'nice to have' over the basics we supply, eg I buy them regular shower gel, but they like the foaming stuff so get themselves that. They are often also saving for a bigger ticket item, but often this is a slow process as they choose not to save a large percentage. They have had their share of disappointment having spent impulsively one day to only to see something far better the next but no longer have enough to afford it, and are getting better at this. We do still pay for some small treats like sweets for them, but this tends to be on special outings such as cinema sweets and isn't expected.
They don't need to be going out on their own to make pocket money worthwhile IMO, they just bring their own little purse out whenever they go out with you. And now DD1 has a bank card, she makes the odd online purchase.

I recommend it OP - it is amazing how shifting the choice of buying onto their budget can change their mind about how much they really want that little trinket. It's much easier to spend other people's money!
It is hard to watch them 'waste' money at times, but it's all part of the learning process done in a very low stakes way.

SkankingWombat · 07/03/2026 13:51

And I agree with @JustGiveMeReasonto take them to different places and point out the prices so they can learn how it varies. My DD1's greatest jaw drop moment was showing her the individual chocolate bar prices by the sandwiches in the supermarket and then the packs of 4 in the sweet aisle further down. She had already noticed the ones by the sandwiches were more expensive than our local corner shop. She is a committed Vinted buyer now too and will often send me links to items she wants to buy (I buy on my account and she pays me back), having realised she can get 'as new' branded items at pocket money prices. She loves to rescue a yellow sticker plant too 😂

FusionChefGeoff · 08/03/2026 08:53

I find it quite bizarre that they might not need money just because they don’t go out. I spend loads of money without leaving my house Grin

I’d give a weekly amount and then if they’re asking for toys etc get used to looking up and comparing prices online then saving to buy. And also starting to encourage buying gifts for Mum / Dad / siblings for birthdays.

We used Rooster Money which is a free app to keep track of how much they have and how much they spend. It’s not real money so you control it all then when you buy something just take it out of their Rooster pot.

ColdAsAWitches · 08/03/2026 10:41

Mine is 13 and we don’t give her pocket money. We give her money as needed when she needs to go somewhere. We live in the middle of nowhere, so she literally has nowhere to spend it unless we drive her there.

Online? Why shouldn't she be able to save up and buy something on Amazon, or any other site.

Nourishinghandcream · 08/03/2026 11:15

Pocket money doesn't need to be earned but equally, if it isn't being spent by going out it does not follow that it is not required.
Put some into savings every week (they don't even need to know) while letting them have a lesser amount for spending. If they ever want more, let them earn it by doing chores.

Babsandherwabs · 08/03/2026 11:23

There tends to be 2 schools of thought, whether to be paid for chores or not. I tend to think no, you just do it because you share a home and take responsibility for it, no one pays me to do them.
But I’ve recently devised a tier system because the kids asked for ways to make money. Things like, put clothes away, put plate in dishwasher, tidy up toys are unpaid. Once they’re done you can level up and be paid £1, £2 or £3 depending on the chore - wash car outside is £3 for example, hoover stairs is £2. Clean skirting boards is £2. Then they can decide how much they want to earn and the jobs that me and DH never get round to get done too 😁

As for them never going out (mine are 8 & 10). They get paid onto their Monzo cards but always forget to take them out so we just pay for everything anyway 🤣 they also have savings from us but they don’t know they exist.

janietreemore · 08/03/2026 11:27

Pocket money is an important way to learn about saving up and prioritising. Give them a regular small amount, stop buying them sweets and accessories or whatever, and show them how to budget.

Hohofortherobbers · 08/03/2026 11:30

Mine have revolut accounts, a savings at 3% interest and a current account. Its been a great tool for teaching them about savings, the interest is added daily and my ds especially has become really keen to keep any spare cash earning interest. Great habit for life

NarnianQueen · 08/03/2026 19:29

I think it’s really important to have money of your own to learn about budgeting - as an adult your bit going to just get handed some money whenever you fancy going out!
It sounds like both your kids would benefit from money of their own to spend or save as they wish - there’s nothing like frittering it away at the arcade to make you realise you actually want to save up for the special Lego set you want…

StrawberrySquash · 08/03/2026 19:32

Even if she's out and about with you (and at ten this is about to change) the point of pocket money is to have her make decisions about what to spend it on and that learning still happens when she spends pocket money in your presence.

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