Not sure if im being too sensitive re driving instructor?

[BySnappyUmberFish]

I've failed multiple tests, years ago and I am a bit of a nervous driver. I do need someone who can give feedback constructively but is gentle and used to nervous drivers.

I started automatic a while ago but had to stop due to cost. I've restarted in manual, on my first lesson I was struggling with gears a lot and he said 'never met anyone as clumsy as you!

I don't like his tone sometimes, he is very blunt, tough love sort of persona. Whilst I can take criticism, my previous instructor had a gentler approach as I said.
I am maybe being too sensitive, he is there to teach but some lessons I never hear what went well. He will say 'you saw that and you just did nothing'. Then a second later will tell me to 'chill!'. The thing is I am just trying to focus on my driving and him just saying 'chill' every second isn't helping. I've had around 12 lessons but he will still tell me how to turn left etc. Even though I thought I had mastered it by now? I understand it's his job but I feel every element is micro managed.

Go back to automatic. Manual is a waste of time particularly if you are struggling. Cost may be more for auto but you will save money by not needing so many lessons

I think you should try another driving instructor. It's clearly not working for you. Maybe just a clash of personalities or learning styles.

Although I do think telling someone to chill is rubbish. When has telling anyone to chill ever actually had that effect?!

I was an anxious learner but I'm a confident driver now. My last driving instructor was lovely and so helpful. He was very calm and always waited until a good moment to give me feedback. He actually sat in the back of the car when I had my driving test. He didn't do or say anything but just having him there really helped.

No im not happy for a bloke to be a perv but my experience with the woman was much worse. She was a complete psychopath.

Plus I ditched the perv! For being a perv …

I'm intrigued by this!

Me too, I read the op 3 times trying to work out what I missed 😂

Definitely go with someone else who makes you comfortable; it's really important. I am dyspraxic and took quite a long time learning, but I've been driving nearly 25 years and, touch wood, the worst accident I've ever had is backing into someone slowly - I've safely managed a blown out tyre on the dual carriageway. The good instructor I had was so calm and helpful - he set me up for life.

Also, totally bemused by the bonkers logic of someone dismissing all women instructors on the grounds that one woman was bad!

I had a driving instructor who stressed me out SO much - he would shout, tell me off, and when he was happy (ie not shouting or telling me off as all was well with my driving) he'd chunter on and on and totally distract me. However as a PP said I passed first time because the experience with the examiner was SO much easier than driving with him :-D I would definitely get a different instructor though if you are a nervous driver- you will only get worse. There are also instructors that specialise in people that have failed multiple tests. I would try one of them perhaps. Not because you're useless or anything like that but because sometimes people who fail repeatedly need a different style of teaching given we all learn differently, and as a DI PP said, a good instructor should be able to adjust to that.

I totally get this. I had driving lessons with someone exactly like this for 2 years and I absolutely hated my driving lessons and assumed it was me being nervous and rubbish.
They by chance a family friend was training to become a driving instructor and I went driving with him and it was completely different. I drove so much better with him because he commented on what I was doing well so I knew what to do more of, as well as being clear what I needed to improve.
I passed my test first time and am a good driver now after my first instructor told me I'm "not a natural".