Parents filming in children’s groups

[Curious4567]

I don’t know if I am overreacting, but my gut tells me I’m not. I take my 2 year old to a gymnastics class once a week, which he loves. While we are there, there is always at least 3 or 4 parents that insist on filming their children. Now I understand people want to have memories of their children, so do I, but I am very against people having videos or pictures with my child in the image also, regardless if it is only in the background (I would only take pictures of my child alone or with consent) I don’t post pictures of my child online, I personally don’t agree with it, one they haven’t consented, two, they will go on to be independent and don’t deserve to have an online history following them, and three, you don’t know who is looking at them or god forbid, doing god knows what with them!
anyway, I’m thinking of raising it with the club but wanted to get others opinions first!
fire away…
thanks!

Not gymnastics, but I used to film my daughter in a group dance class so she could see how she looked, but also so she could remember and practice the routine at home.

I am sure you think this makes you look assertive and no nonsense; it doesn’t.

I have no issue complying with reasonable requests. Not taking photographs in a swimming pool is perfectly reasonable and sensible. (Apart from anything else your phone would be ruined; although I suppose you could wear one of those underwater devices but anyway.)

But taking a photo of my toddler at a toddler group or the park or something is completely different to the pool and there is no way anyone should be telling anyone else not to take a photo of their own child.

Nobody is going to challenge you for taking a photo of your child in a public setting. But if you’re taking a photo of your child in a place where other children are going to be accidentally included in the photo, then you’re making it their parents business. Similarly if you’re ignoring a no photography rule, so other idiots think that it’s ok for them to ignore it too, then you’re making it other parents business.

Only on MN where people are so precious. Both my kids are in school and have had various clubs and classes and never has it been any issues to film. All class plays, events etc never an issue.

I was giving you an example of where using your phone or taking photos is unacceptable, as you didn’t specify the setting.

And it’s called ‘safeguarding’ not ‘being assertive and no nonsense’ in my example.

HTH

@WilfredsPies I would never purposefully set out to include another child, but they do move pretty quickly! So as much as i might try to avoid it, realistically it will happen.

I would obviously adhere to any no photos rules as I’m not a law breaker by nature, although I probably would elicit not to go somewhere regularly that had a no photography rule. But that’s different to another parent informing me that I can’t take a photo because their child is in the background. If it bothers them then the onus is on them to keep their child away to be honest.

@SabrinaThwaite if you speak to anyone at work the way you’ve just spoken to me I’m surprised you haven’t had far worse to be honest.

I am a teacher and before I had children I was actually one of the DSLs at school (I reduced responsibility) so you don’t need to tell me about safeguarding. I am quite happy to not take photographs of my children at swimming pools (apart from anything else you’re swimming, although I suppose some pools have those little toddler areas) and anywhere that explicitly states ‘no photographs.’ DDS playgroup is not one of these places and neither is her French class (pretentious I know but …) or historically her baby sensory, massage etc.

So if anyone in one of those places told me not to take photos of DD because their child might be in the background I would suggest they remove their child from the background.

I don’t set out to take photos of other peoples children but it does happen.

The club should have a photography policy as part of their safeguarding. Nspcc child protection in sport has some great resources, you could point the club at them

thecpsu.org.uk/help-advice/topics/photography-and-filming-in-sports-and-activities/

You don’t have a problem with it, so you really can’t imagine a single instance in which any other parent might have a problem, or a safeguarding concern, with it? Not even if you think really hard?

Could it be that concerned parents aren’t being precious, but that maybe you’re being a little short sighted?

@WilfredsPiesi can’t imagine that across two kids and so many extra clubs that we had none of these children or situations. How could that be

I think you’ve just given the perfect example of why society is descending into everyone only being concerned with doing what they want to do and having no consideration for anyone else. It’s such an individualistic approach.

Instead of moving your child to a place where there are no other children and taking as many photos as you want, in peace and without making anyone else feel uncomfortable, you genuinely feel no embarrassment in thinking that half a dozen parents should be removing their children so that you can carry on doing exactly what you want to do.

I wonder whether you ever feel concern at the world your children are growing up in?

Because of taking a photo of my own child. No, sorry, don’t blame the downfall of society on me. I’m not obtuse or difficult, I don’t set out to take photos of your child, but if I take a picture of my child and your child runs on and that upsets you, that’s not really my issue tbh. I’m not only going to take photos in absolute desolation and isolation in case it bothers someone else.

Stop being melodramatic, I’m obviously not blaming the downfall of society on you. It’s down to a million different reasons but, whether you choose to take responsibility for your part in it or not, an increase in entitled behaviour is one of those reasons. And there’s a big difference in a child running into the background of your photo, and of a parent taking a photo of their child when they are already surrounded by other children, which is what your previous comment implied.

I’m not being melodramatic at all; I’m sat on my sofa watching Bear Hunt with my two year old, quite happy.

If I misinterpreted this then apologies but you did say I think you’ve just given the perfect example of why society is descending into everyone only being concerned with doing what they want to do and having no consideration for anyone else. It’s such an individualistic approach

I do think claiming that taking a photograph of my child that someone else happens to be in the background of is ‘the perfect example of society descending into everyone only being concerned with what they want to do’ and then accusing me of being melodramatic is a bit rich, to be honest.

We probably won’t agree on this but I really do think that for anything like this, the person with the strong feelings has to be the one to make adjustments, as public spaces are just that and other people won’t always behave in a way you want them to. My DD actually went through a stage of being terrified of dogs; it isn’t reasonable of me to ask everyone to not walk dogs near me. It is of course reasonable that their dogs don’t come up to us, just as it is reasonable that I don’t go seeking other children to take photos of.

As with most things, consideration and respect are what matter, but that is a two way process.

You’re surprised I haven’t had far worse what? And since it was my job I’m not sure what your point is?

I just reflected your own language back to you, so if you have an issue with that then maybe you need to consider how you respond to people yourself?

You’d be surprised about the number of people I had to escort out of the spectator’s area during swimming lessons because they were unable to follow the clear ‘no phones’ requirement.

Oh and then there were women taking selfies in the girls changing rooms whilst other people’s children were getting changed in the background. You couldn’t make it up.

@SabrinaThwaite I wouldn’t flout a rule, especially not in a pool (poem) but there is a world of difference between a place where there is a policy and a parent expressing a desire for you not to take photos. I would not stop taking a photo of my child because another parent didn’t want me to, although of course I would not ‘target’ their child for a picture.

But your initial reply was really rude and I would be taken aback to say the least if I heard someone speaking like that in a professional role. I can’t say I ever have.

‘mind your own’ is hardly on the same level as your response and in any case it wasn’t a literal translation! If I was say in the park and another parent said to me ‘oh excuse me, stop taking photos of your child, Oliver might be in the background’ I’d probably say something like ‘I’ll ensure he isn’t in the background but I’m not going to stop taking photos, sorry.’

Which is polite enough; I’d certainly think ‘mind your own business’ though!

Well since you weren’t party to the actual conversations I had regarding the issue, you’re not really in a position to make a judgment on my turn of phrase, are you?

It’s not like I told them to get the fuck out. That would probably count as really rude.

Of course I wasn’t - I was responding based on how you responded to me, which was something to do with frogmarching me to the exit and throwing me out because I indicated that I would not ‘obey’ another parent telling me not to take a photo of my own child!

I can only reply on what you tell me, as obviously I don’t come to your workplace.

What’s the scandal with leotards?!

OP if they club don’t already have a policy it’s because they don’t want to stop people taking photos. Ask to confirm if you like.

im another who would tell you to bugger off if you told me to stop taking photos of my child

A lot of places like / encourage it because obviously when it’s shared on social media it raises the profile of the club.

My DD attends a little ballet class on Saturday mornings. I take a lot of photos because the dance school owner is actually a friend so I’m helping her promote her business! (And getting some sweet pictures as well.)

because I indicated that I would not ‘obey’ another parent telling me not to take a photo of my own child!

That’s not what you said though, is it?

If anyone ‘challenged’ me for taking a photograph of my own child I’d tell them to mind their own.

You really could start a fight in an empty room.

@SabrinaThwaite I actually think the same about you 😂 so we’re obviously not agreeing here!

I think that ‘mind your own’ to a parent telling me not to take a photo of my child is ‘indicating that I would not obey’ surely!

Wow, quite the divide.. I personally think people telling me to mind my own if my child was in the background of their photo is a little rude, but each to their own!
i can see both sides, but i still feel the same way and personally I don’t want photos taken of my child while in clubs or school. I get it, you can’t manage this expectation everywhere, such as parks and open spaces etc, and I wouldn’t try, but even then, if it were me, I would try not to get others in the picture. To be honest, I am one of those that prefers to enjoy the moment and I don’t tend to spend our family time filling my camera roll, I take pictures and videos of the big moments but they mostly tend to be in private because otherwise we’re too busy having fun.
apologies if I’ve offended anyone, but thank you all for your views, it’s really helpful! I’ll speak with the gym and see what their policy is, I’ll let you know, for anyone interested!

@Curious4567 to be fair that was in response to someone saying that you should be proactive in demanding group policies etc. As I said to another poster, consideration and respect are a two way street. If someone said to me ‘hey, I’m really sorry but I think my little boy just got in the back of the phot you took, would you mind ever do much taking another picture and removing the one you have?’ I wouldn’t mind (I would think a bit over cautious but wouldn’t verbalise that.) But someone aggressively saying ‘delete that photo at once!’ would get the mind your own response.

Taking a photo takes seconds; I promise we have plenty of fun despite my very full camera roll

Sorry, terrible spelling, it’s my phone not me honest