Ex threatening to move back into house

[April2013]

Separated from angry volatile ex a year ago, he moved out about 6 months ago. We have kids. He is threatening to move back in - no financial settlement yet or divorce house in both names. Do I just call the police? How do I get an occupation order? Worried will happen this evening. Any advice would be amazing thanks so much.

It's not really reasonable for you to expect him to pay for a house he doesn't live in. If you don't want him to move in, you need to take over all the mortgage/bills yourself, or pay him market rent for his half of the property, or you can move out. Otherwise, you both have equal rights to live in a property you are both paying for.

The most important thing is that you sort the finances out, so you can both move on with your lives without being financially tied to each other. If you're dragging your heels, or making unreasonable demands then I can understand why he feels that moving back into the house is his best option.

Op, he doesn't need to have hit you for it to be DV. Contact a woman's charity and a solicitor is my advice. Good luck, it's a horrible situation to be in.

It was helpful for me to stop my head getting caved in again.

Get a dead bolt fitted

She can’t stop him having access. My dad flung my mum outside during an argument. She called the police and they turned up and told him he had to let her back in. He got mouthy and then asked if he wanted to spend the night at the station.

He can call the police to get access.

You really need to get the divorce process going, then you apply for the occupation order.

I have an appointment in a couple of weeks with solicitor and there is plenty of money from his side that he could use to buy a house outright if he wanted to but looks like he doesn’t want to do that. He is refusing to give his key back and I am living with fear of him coming into house at any time. Of course it is his house as much as it is mine but I know with the settlement there will be enough money for me to stay in the house and for him to have enough to set himself up and he could have gone ahead and done that but hasn’t.

thanks so much for all the advice so far, thank you and I am sorry to everyone who has been in this situation and much worse.

There was no mention of DV or abuse.

Im sorry OP, this is horrible. The idea of an angry drunk demanding to come back into the house makes me feel anxious too. I haven't been in this position myself, but I would be trying to get as much informed advice as possible. Maybe womens aid, shelter, citizens advice first as they are free, then see what they recommend next. Perhaps non-emergency police to ask what you can do in the event he turns up drunk and aggressive when you and the kids are in the house.