To want to change my name

[DeedPollYes]

I’ve always hated my name - both first name and surname. I’m middle aged now and am seriously thinking of changing both names. However, it will hurt my Mum, annoy my husband (I didn’t change my name when we married so why change to something completely different now?), confuse my kids, potentially look like I’m trying to appear trans or non-binary (new name will be gender neutral) which I’m definitely not. It will be a lot of hassle and expense but this is really nagging away at me and I’m getting quite obsessed with the idea. (Full disclosure ADHD, PTSD, mental health issues for years - I know this is part of the reason I hate my current name so much).

So, AIBU?

YES - stop being such a self-obsessed idiot, no-one cares what your name is.
NO - personal self expression is really important. You can call yourself what you like.

I don't think the name change will achieve what you want. However if you really want to change something and people already call you the nickname then do a deed poll for first name only and keep the certificate somewhere safe. You don't need to change any paperwork until you're ready, but it might help to know the certificate is there if you really want to see the new name on your bank card or driving license :)
You could also start introducing yourself as the nickname to new people and ask your close friends and family to just use that and drop proper name.

I would really leave the surname alone for now.

I did this (also with the conditions you have mentioned) and love my new name. I took my husbands surname after many years of marriage but changed my first name by altering it slightly. Takes a long time for people to get used to but I moved to a new area after I’d done it which helped the bedding in process.

I love my new name and even though it was tonnes of hassle, it was worth it.

Thanks everyone. I am going to really think about what you’ve said.

I never really liked my surname, So I changed it in the 1980s when I went to uni as a mature student. Unis did nto check identities so they just accepted who you said you were. My degree was in my new name as were my masters and doctorate.

I got a statutory declaration form from a law stationers. Simply stated that I was changing my name and would henceforth be known as XX and got my GP to witness it. I think I paid £5 for him to do so. I wrote to my bank, tax, etc to announce that I had changed my name. I also got a passport in the new name simply by sending my statutory declaration up. Doing it this way is called changing your name BY USAGE and is completely legal so long as you are not doing it for a frauulent purpose.I dont know if its so simple nowadays.

Should add that I only changed my surname. I just chose a name I liked from my grandmothers side of the family. It has a French sound and spelling that is quite distinctive. No employer ever asked me what I did before my degree so it was a good time to reinvent myself.

@Friendlygingercat I got a statutory declaration form from a law stationers. Simply stated that I was changing my name and would henceforth be known as XX and got my GP to witness it. I think I paid £5 for him to do so

It’s actually free now if you follow the link further up, no need to get anyone professional to sign, just two friends or neighbours or whoever. I know it’s too late for you, but I’m keen on spreading the news that it’s free and easy now.