Stop talking at the theatre!

[IwishIcouldconfess]

I can hear you, I don't care how quiet you think you're being. You're not.

Its annoying and you're very rude.

Ive paid tickets to see the actors act.

Not listen to you whisper about what they were in, the outfit, the set, if the time line is correct, what your memories of nights out are.

Just shut up!

I am badass and confrontational and I always tell people to shut up. It really wasn’t like this years ago. It puts me off going to see things now.

I agree, you're there for a couple of hours.

What? Go for more than 20 minutes without sweets/crisps/drinks/sweets? Don't be ridiculous.

I know.

God my expectations are so high nowadays

Snacks and drinks generate far too much income for theatres to stop selling them, and Ido sometimes like to enjoy an interval drink or treat.

They should ask people to stop doing anything but drink during the actual performance, though.

It's awful. I've become much more vocal, from asking people to stop talking, and/or repositioning myself in my seat while saying "excuse me", to dislodge my neighbour's elbow from my ribs and/or to minimise the (typically) man spreading. I get filthy looks/stared at in response, which I ignore other than to say "thanks", if their behaviour was considerate then I wouldn't need to say anything...

Carrie Hope Fletcher put a post on Social media saying not to sing along during a performance.

Good tip, will remember this!!

Can I also ban the people who in certain theatres with curved rows of seating lean forward to get a better view, thus meaning everyone else in the row has to lean forward?

Theatre etiquette is the worst it's ever been. My current bugbear is people wearing glasses or sunglasses on their head, massive buns on top of their hears or baseball caps.

The most patronising and irritating expression ever known. It makes me want to be absolutely horrible.

Mostly agree, although I think it depends on the show.

I went to see Phantom in London, paid £175 per ticket so I’d expect impeccable etiquette. What I got was the couple next to me - he fell asleep, she was on her phone (bright screen) from the beginning of the show. I intended to report her to staff in the interval but either staff saw or someone reported her, as a staff member came and beckoned her off her phone. They both left in the interval and didn’t return 🤷🏻‍♀️

And that says all we need to know about the mindless parroting of ‘Be Kind’.

Rustlers, fidgeters, chatters, phone checkers: Be Kind and observe basic behaviour!

I recently saw a comedian and the woman behind us responded to each joke or comment from the comedian as if she was in a personal, one to one conversation with her. "Oh really", "well i never" and even little anecdotes in return to complement the content of the show. It was absolutely bonkers and incredibly distracting

Be kind? That can fuck right off for a start.

Tbh i rarely go to the theatre or cinema any more, it's so expensive and almost always ruined by other people's rotten behaviour, no one seems capable of sitting quietly still for more than 5 minutes any more without chatting, texting or eating. We seem to be a nation of toddlers lately. The only exception was watching the Angelina Jolie film about Callas at the lovely little curzon cinema near Green Park, the audience was 99% older women, many on their own like me, and everyone just seemed to watch the film. But that is incredibly rare these days in my experience. I'm tempted to say it's an age and gender issue but i suspect that's not always the case.

They should be fined

I think there is a quote from Shepherd Book in the late, great TV series Firefly that is relevant here:

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters. And people who talk at the theatre."

It is so annoying and why on earth people need to take snacks into a cinema or theatre I have no idea. If I sit next to somebody with one of those enormous boxes of popcorn I know I'm in for a really annoying time. I have a thing about people's eating noises....!

I would have said would you be so kind to refund my expensive ticket then?

Be kind, like lots of modern day parlance ( i.e Karen) is just said to shut people up. It doesn’t work anymore. I am ok with people not thinking I am not kind, I am not okay with them thinking I am a mug.

We booked tickets for a matinee performance of Mary Poppins and didn't realise that it was half term. The sweet rustling was annoying but just about bearable. The scrunching of water bottles however was rage-inducing!

Just reply "I'll be kind when you start fucking being quiet" 😬😩🤦‍♂️🤣

I went to see The Bodyguard on tour and a group of drunk women in their 50's/60's sat behind me. From the very start they were constantly chatting/gossiping and kept loudly singing over the songs... I know they're Whitney songs, which we all know and love, but I wanted to hear the performance!

I turned around and very politely (genuinely, with a please) asked if they would be able to stop talking as I was struggling to hear the show over them.

One of the ladies was apologetic and immediately said sorry, but after I turned around I heard here friend call me a "boring c*nt" and they were saying that I was miserable and they were only trying to have a good time! She then proceeded to keep kicking the back of my seat and laughing.

I did speak to an usher but they were unhelpful, they said I could try to find another seat if I wanted (the show was sold out). Other people around us complained to the ushers too but nothing was done.

I once had a cinema performance ruined by an old woman talking loudly to her friend having an irrelevant conversation through the whole performance. Even when people stood up and walked over to the other side the penny didn’t drop. It’s so rude and inconsiderate ruining a film for everyone else.

I was at Stranger Things on Broadway a few weeks ago and a woman got thrown out in the interval because she wouldn’t stop talking 😂 I hadn’t actually noticed because she was about 5 rows ahead of me but I certainly noticed her rowing with the woman next to her and then kicking off at the usher as they insisted on her leaving.