Ds is 8 years old and ever since he was little we have struggled with managing his behaviour. He is neurodiverse - a mixture of AUDHD. He will have outbursts, be verbally mean at us and physical against me and DH. At school and with friends he masks.
Now he is 8 - it feels like we really have to set up a system of how best to react when he does those things. We obviously tell him things arent acceptable, have tried to take things away but he doesnt really care and it doesnt change behaviour.
Usual rewards v punishments dont work a) because he isnt goal oriented; b) rewards dont work because he hates them, doesnt like praise or have any reward connected to his behaviour nor does he get motivated by rewards to alter his behaviour; punishments dont work - because essentially even if we take stuff away (and b now am not sure what that would be) - he also doesnt care. Gentle parenting of saying that not good, absorbing it and talking about it once he's calmed down - also doesnt seem effective enough.
So parents and/or teachers of ND kids - what works for you? Really really need help with this.