To feel so sad my Dc is an only

[Wherewillthisallendup]

And to wish i’d been able to have more children

Due to infertility it took years to have our Dd, we were obviously over the moon she arrived as we didn’t believe it would ever happen. The younger years especially were the happiest of my life
I would have loved more children and feel guilt and sadness that she doesn’t have a sibling which she asks me about sometimes.
I have one frozen embryo left over from the ivf process but am 48 now

Why didn’t you use the frozen embryo much earlier? Within a year or so if your child’s birth? I understand a certain amount of guilt and sadness but you had the chance literally on ice to change this and haven’t done anything about it?

I understand your feelings. I always wanted several DC's. I have one DS and would've loved to have given him a sibling, but our frozen embryos didn't work. DS was an IVF miracle and I'm quite happy with one miracle in my life. DS 18 has always been quite happy as an only child and he is very good at making friends. I think about the practicalities later in life in terms of us being able to help him in his future.

Siblings don't always get along. My DB is actually like another dependent and everything in the family with my elderly parents has fallen to me. DP's sister is absolutely horrible and so we have no contact with her.

It's just something you have to come to terms with, but you will.

Same here. I loved it. And my DH has a brother he doesn't speak to.

I only have one, I went through years of fertility treatments as well, I felt really guilty he didn’t have siblings when he was young but can see the benefits he had ie all the one on one time, clubs, holidays etc he wouldn’t have had if I had more children he’s 20 now and I had made peace with it but recently I have been thinking a lot about DH & I getting older, needing care/dying and Ds having to deal with that all alone and I feel awful.

I imagine @Wherewillthisallendup had her reasons and didn’t just forget.

@Wherewillthisallendup if this intense regret is quite recent I would reassure you that suddenly longing for more babies just before the menopause is a very real thing and thankfully it does pass.

Totally nbu to feel this way. I had years of fertility struggles with my first. I did then have a surprise second at 41. Whilst I love of him of course, it’s not been the happy experience I thought it would be. I hate the squabbles, the feeling much more overwhelmed as a mum, the spreading myself thin, the loss of the really close relationship with DD and the reduction in the quality and resources of my parenting. Knowing what I know now, I would stick with one. There’s many benefits to having an only child.