Leave part-time job I enjoy post baby

[Shabzxx]

A few years ago I left a high paying high stress job for a part-time more specialized role. It involved a pay cut and a longer commute however a job that I genuinely enjoy and where my colleagues feel like friends. I've since had a baby and I'm getting ready to return to work, a few return to work sessions confirmed how much I enjoy the job.

My partner works in a hybrid role and we have no option other than send LO to nursery 2 days a week as neither of us can change our in office days. He's been looking after LO this week and mentioned LO has been unsettled without me and just briefly mentioned would I consider another job with a shorter commute and/or different days so they don't need to go to nursery (he wouldn't force me if I didn't want to).

I have the option to reapply for my old job part time but don't want to burn myself out, we moved to be closer to DH family and I do feel quite isolated here and being SAHM nothing wrong with it but I think my mental health would be better if I was not just at home. Current salary isn't huge especially being part time and we could manage on DH salary for a while which I know is a privileged position to be in.

Anybody had similar experiences? Just wondering what your experiences were. I want to what is best from my child but also want to make sure I look after myself the balance is hard!

I should add as it's quite a specialized job there's not that many similar jobs that I would be able to find closer to home

Don’t give up a job you like because the baby hasn’t settled yet, you didn’t hear him offering to change his job did you? The baby will settle in time

The baby will settle. Keep your job, keep your sphere that is something different from being mum all the time.

Agree with this, you will be thankful to be able to go out each day to a job you enjoy with colleagues you like!

Reading your post, I think you already know that, while every family is different, the right answer for you is to stick with your current job, which you enjoy.

LO will be fine with a couple of days in nursery - far more so than full time with a mum who is losing herself and her mental health.

Keep your job if you like it.
The baby will be fine.
Did he say that because he doesn’t want to look after the baby ?

Even if either of you could change your office days you can’t be looking after a baby/ toddler/ preschooler when WFH. That won’t work.

Your baby is probably unsettled when you’re not around as it’s new to them. They’ll settle in nursery, even if it takes a couple of days.

i would keep the job you like for now- it’s really important to look out for your wellbeing.

The baby will settle honestly your dh is being a bit ridiculous. Why doesn't he give up his job to provide continuity?

Nursery settling-in takes weeks and weeks !
see how everything goes over the next few months. And then re-assess things.

It’s so important to keep something of the ‘old’ you when you become a parent but it’s also worth considering your future employment prospects. Giving up work can work well for some mothers but it can leave you vulnerable in future. Sticking with a job you enjoy will be good for you now and make you more employable in future too.

I think it's looking unanimous, OP!

I did leave my job to be a SAHM but I really wanted to and didn’t enjoy my job and even so the adjustment was huge so I would say if you are on the fence don’t do it. I love it and I’m so happy I did but it’s a big shift in terms of identity and can take a bit of settling in for your relationship even with a supportive partner!

Your baby will settle and having a job you love is really important for your wellbeing!

As someone who left an enjoyable job with nice people and great conditions after maternity leave, thinking I would easily be able to get a good part-time job later (ha!), for the love of god, keep hold of your job! It will take all three of you some time to get used to juggling but your toddler will soon be running in to nursery, you won’t be going stir-crazy as a SAHM and your career won’t be down the pan.

Thank you everyone who took the time to reply! I've finished my settling back in sessions now and going back properly after Easter

That's good to read.

My response would have been the same. It's so important to keep working for financial and personal reasons. Especially if you enjoy it!

Let him change his job!
babies never settle immediately

You can also take four weeks unpaid family leave if needed

It’s a ridiculous idea tha will have a negative impact on your life. Shocking that he didn’t suggest changing HIS role it’s always the mother expected to do so.

Keep your job and your sanity. Brace yourself for a few tough years ahead - but hold on to that job you love. You’ll thank yourself in the end.

Keep your job. I am very attached to my little one (21m) but I love my job and part time work gives me a sense of satisfaction different to motherhood. It makes me feel like a more well rounded person which helps my overall self esteem. Your little one will adapt to a new routine. Two days isn’t much nursery time really.

Also, I think something you don’t realise with your first before you start, is how beneficial a decent nursery is. I was so worried with the settling and leaving with my first, even though he was fine. But they love having a little group of friends and going in on their nursery days! So much so, that when on mat and pat leave later on, we struggled financially to keep that consistency of nursery a couple
of days a week.

Keep the job and your identity as a person and not just mum and wife.
When you have small kids work is a part of social life, adult conversation and eating/visiting toilet in peace.
Besides obvious benefits to your MH and sustaining yourself as a person it gives you money, pension and freedom in case anything goes pear shape.

So far you made all the sacrifices while your DH’s life hasn’t changed. Surely settling his own child shouldn’t be a problem?

Becoming a SAHM is sometimes a trigger for some men to become quite mean/controlling to their partners. Plenty of stories on MN not only about that but also man discarding the first partner for the newer/better model- by that time his career boomed and woman was left behind holding the babies so to speak.

None of these scenarios above is a given but that’s why it’s very important for women to be independent financially (work=money=choice)

With all respect be a part of a team, enjoy your family but don’t be default parent taking more and more.Your needs also matter Look out for yourself. It’s important.