To not be babies godparent

[snch]

Hey,

I’m in a friendship group with 4 other girls. We’ve been friends for 10+ years.

Over that time we have kind of drifted apart at times but over the past couple of years we have become closer. We meet up once a week for coffee and take our kids out in the half terms.

A couple of the girls I haven’t really been that close for a long time but I would say we have been lately. One of the girls is having a christening for her son. She’s asked the other 4 girls to be god parents and not me. I understand as we haven’t always been close but it does sting a bit.

Away from this I do feel like I do make an effort with friends. Check in meet up where I can. It’s hard to maintain friendships when people are busy with kids/work and an elderly grandparent that I help with. I always feel like I’m kind of a floater friend never someone that gets really close and can have a conversation about life. Or a bit of a spare part when I’m with a group of people.

I feel like it’s confirmed what I already know about myself but I feel like what’s wrong with me. I’m not a terrible person. I also feel like the majority of the time I don’t need to message people on a daily basis I’m happy. It’s hard to be explain.

Can anyone relate?

Are you Christian? And are the other women?

Have you at some stage said you don't believe in God. Are you actually a practicing Christian? If you aren't surely it's a complete non issue.

Are you religious? Is the baby going to be brought up CofE?
If the baby is going to be christened at a RC church, he'll have one godfather and one godmother.

It used to be only the Royal Family that had four sets of god parents!

The Mum isn’t religious

If it’s a proper Christian service (baptism) you have two godparents, 3 max, not all your friends, and the godparents need to be Christians as they are promising to help bring the child up as a Christian. (If it’s a secular naming ceremony all bets are off)

Sorry you feel this way but you have said yourself that you haven’t been close to them , only lately. If the mum has been consistently close to the other 4 it’s perfectly reasonable that she would ask them - although 4 god mothers is a bit on the high side . God parent is a long term commitment ( or it should be) so if you haven’t been close she make think you might drift off again. It is also entirely her choice, there is no rule which says she must ask all of her friendship group.

It might sting but ask yourself if it were you choosing god parents why would I ask someone to be a god parent if we haven’t been close, it’s not about the feelings of that person and whether they will feel left out it’s about who I believe are my consistent close friends.

Do you mean she wants all 4 of them to be godparents or did the first 3 say no and she kept going down the list,

Are you?

There’s nothing wrong with you.. I’d be quicker to question the mindset of someone who asked 4 people to be godparent to their child lol

Just think no expectations on you to buy better than average gifts etc etc

I am not religious but the rest of my family are. Baptisms / christenings are a big deal to them. They often steer clear of asking friends to be godparents because friends come and go, so instead they ask siblings / cousins. It’s supposed to be an active figure in the child’s life and someone who will always take care of them, especially if something happens to their parents. It’s not like being a bridesmaid or going on a hen.