To feel happy despite my work

[Dogvomvom]

I have a new manager who has changed my job spec significantly in a way that I struggle to cope with. Whilst I appreciate that his way of doing things is not illegal or immoral, it goes counter to every instinct I have and is making my daily work very hard. I cry on the way to work and on the way home.

I cannot leave this job. I just cannot. This is not even worth asking about.

What I do need is advice on how to completely separate my working day from my home life. If I got some relief from this burden in my time off it might be more bearable.

Thanks.

It’s hard to advise how to separate the two without knowing vaguely what it is that you do. Do you have to do work stuff at home?

It’s being wrong that you cry to and from work, and trying to compartmentalise your life won’t fix this underlying issue. There must be something you can do - speak to another manager perhaps? Confide in a close colleague? I guess you don’t seem able to talk directly to your manager?

Life is too short for work to make you cry.

Thanks for your reply. No, there's really no-one i can talk to. Like I said, my manager isn't wrong, it's just that our values are misaligned

I don’t think you can separate something you feel that strongly about. If you can’t leave, is there a sideways move you could make in the same organisation?

I would suggest that if there is no way possible to leave then read up on practices of ‘meta cognition.’ Put simply, try to develop the ability to observe your own reactions to situations, so that when the situation happens again you can try to respond dispassionately, rather than react emotionally. There’s a lot more to it than that, but the basic idea has helped me not to get overwhelmed in the moment.

And if you really can’t leave, bear in mind that managers come and go, so do what you can (in a positive way!) to get this one to see the grass may be greener elsewhere.

I'm not sure it's possible to be happy if you're miserable in your job - we all have the odd bad day at work but crying to and from work on a regular basis really isn't sustainable. I think if you hate your job that's going to inevitably bleed into other areas of your life. It's difficult to enjoy weekends if you're dreading Monday morning 😔 why can't you look for another job? Or apply for another role within the company?

Thanks, very sound advice. I shall look it up.