To say something in this situation....

[CantGetAnythingRight]

I job share with someone who admittedly I cannot stand. She's rude, passive aggressive, and deliberately obstructs me from doing my work (e.g. saving things on her own work area instead of a share drive so I don't have access, refusing to send me key information via email, the list goes on). She's well known across the organisation - NHS Trust - for being awkward and if anyone pulls her up she uses the excuse of having a previous traumatic brain injury which has left her with epilepsy (which is true but has minimal impact on her day to day work). As such, she's been allowed to pretty much make up her own job as she goes along - bearing in mind we are in an 8a position and the majority of work that she does is Band 3/4 at the most. I have raised this repeatedly with our manager who assured me it would be dealt with... until the individual went on long-term sick.

Because she does so little of the actual job, I haven't been asked to pick up much in her absence - two key tasks that take maybe 2-3 hours a week. However, as she doesn't do most of the job I've already been spending over and over my hours on evenings, weekends, days off, to get the job done. Boss is aware - doesn't give a shit, I ended up in tears on a call last week because of the stress and pressure. Now our General Manager has gone off sick too because of it, he wasn't listened to when raising issues with our boss either.

She's now back and working 75% of her hours this week (full-time hours). I have managed to hand over one of the tasks with a fight but she's point blank refused to do the other. Because our boss thinks he's doing me a favour by taking it off me he's given it to a Band 4 to do - an 8a task. I know she can't do it and plus it's time critical for first thing in the morning this week so I often work late on Tuesdays to get it done whereas she shouldn't and won't. So of course this week I have to pick it up again!

I don't think IABU to raise it but need advice on how not to play absolute holy hell with her and him. I'm already a woman on the edge with stress levels (I have MH issues to start with, plus ASD and have already been off one day last week after my 'nervous breakdown - I jest of course). I have a new job to move into - same role, different manager and no job share - but no start date as yet.

I would take some time off to get your MH in shape before you start your new job.

Why not develop some illness yourself just slow down and let the work pile up? Let your manager deal with the resulting chaos. When challenged you say that rather than taking time off sick with stress you are trying to pace yourself to avoid a breakdown. This is something I did when I stopped doing stuff at home and tasks piled up. I asked the boss if he would like to discuss this matter further with my union rep present and he backed off sharpish. Its true to say I was already weeks from handing in my notice to go to uni so it was a matter of indifference to me.

I'm not in the union - partly because the woman causing me all the problems is a union rep! (And I think that's partly why she's been allowed to do whatever she likes). Thing is my boss knows I'm overloaded but won't address it - but if things do pile up I will get the shit from elsewhere around why it hasn't been done.

What outcome do you want?

Having worked in the NHS, these battles are utterly pointless. They will never get rid of staff, and therefore never properly manage poor performance. You need to work out how to manage working hours in the interim period where you wait for your new role.

I’ve voted YANBU, but I think (from someone who has been there, got the T-shirt) you do need to try to assert your boundaries a bit more. I know it is easy to say. But as a pp said, make sure that you speak to your line manager, let them know you are carrying almost the entire workload, on job share hours, the additional unpaid hours you are doing to keep on top of it, and the detrimental impact it is having on you. Also point out any barriers there are to doing your job, such as work being saved on to homedrive etc. Then tell your boss that to preserve your MH you are going to have to stop doing the additional unpaid hours. Follow it up by email. Then stop. If the wheel comes off, it’s not your fault. So long as you have made them aware in advance and documented the issues, it is their problem to fix. Even if it comes at the expense of service delivery.

I sincerely wish I had done this years before my working life imploded (for other reasons). It sounds trite, but no-one will thank you or respect you for being a martyr, and so long as the work is being done, there is no incentive for your boss to do anything differently.

I follow LindaLeads on instagram- she is very good about dealing with toxic work situations.

Grievance all the way.

One of the many reasons the nhs is on its arse. The inability to get rid of people who can’t/wont do the job….

Then you redirect that shit to your boss who is aware of the problem but is failing to address it.

This all sounds very specific re: past injury and actual work based grades. I’d edit your thread with less telling information. God forbid she reads Mumsnet and sees this.

you’re identifying work stress - arrange to meet with your manager to complete a work stress risk assessment, your trust should have relevant policy and a template, you can bring up issues in a constructive way and agree a way forward that works for you, it’s a formal process and should be reviewed in an agreed timeframe.

great re new job, push for confirmation of start date if you can.

I guess you need to choose whether carrying on doing all the work as you are currently or calmly and repeatedly explaining why work hasn't been done when 'elsewhere' hassles you is the lesser evil ("Sadly I am but one oerson - sympathetic shrug & sigh!"). Choose your 'hard', as is said...
I'd go with unquestionably doing my fair share of work along with a calm rhino hide to deflect the comments about anything outstanding (content in myself I am pulling my weight and can prove it). Unfortunately sometimes you do have to let things fail before anything improves, and it is better to let that happen this way than waiting until it fails because you're broken too. From the sound of it, you also only need to keep this up for a short time anyway?

Her being a union rep has bugger all to do with anything, as you can request any rep to avoid a conflict of interest.

Keep a workload diary of everything you have done. Work to rule - no more working outside your hours.

You say you have a new job lined up. Chase for a start date and then at least you know the end is in sight and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

If you need her to start picking up more work bcc managers into emails you send her and then you can evidence she is not picking up what she should.

Have you any leave left to take? Use the system the way she does and take a couple of weeks off with stress and anxiety.

@bringbacksideburns I've had a few days leave to take last week and this week but just ended up working most of them otherwise the work piles up even more. I don't normally have any left to take by this time of year but I've cut down on my trips away to save money. I actually asked if I could carry some days over - director's discretion - due to covering for this colleague and was told no.

I was off for five weeks last year with work-related stress, and then another six weeks due to major (life-changing) surgery - neither time was I treated with kid gloves when I came back and was allowed to pick and choose what work I did. In fact, I was overloaded from day 1 back at work as she covered absolutely nothing for me in my absence (despite me asking her to)

Ha! Sounds like half of the Band 8as in the country

You are enabling this incompetent behaviour from your manager and laziness by your colleague. By running yourself ragged to get the job done you’re the only one suffering. What will happen if it just doesn’t get done? It’ll be your managers arse on the line and when the powers that be look into it further surely you can flag up all these issues with your colleague. Either that or go off sick. There is no way I’d be working extra and stressing myself out to this extent for the benefit of these two people.

I'll be honest I couldn't give a shit if she recognises herself in my post. She wouldn't care anyway - half the Trust can't stand her and she doesn't care. There are even other teams we work with who fight amongst themselves to NOT have to deal with her if they see her name on a job.

In the first instance I'm going to contact our boss and ask for an urgent meeting re work plans as I have some concerns and it's impacting on my wellbeing. If that doesn't address it then I'll be taking out a grievance - tired of putting up and shutting up.

Then I'm going to hit the gym and take some aggression out before it spills over into work time!

I know your position all too well, NHS here too. It’s taken me years but seen so many people come and go and those that take the pxxx get away with murder, I know effectively work to rule. I’ve been told repeatedly it’s virtually impossible to get rid of anyone within the NHS. I get to work on time, do my job at my own speed and if it isn’t done I let my manager know and go home. My work is done well and accurately but I break my back for no one when there are shirkers in our small team. I also don’t mind saying no I’m not doing it or I haven’t got capacity. Take some time for yourself and stand your ground, you’ll be no more thought of staying late or doing everything.

There are many unions and professional bodies in the nhs, juat choose a different one e.g. unite or unison.

Your boss has reallocated a task. Don't you then do it. If it fails it's on the boss.

Stop working over and on your days off.

Log off.

You need to take a step back and if things don't get done in the hours available that's on your boss to either manage the workload or manage the other person.

You are making yourself ill.

Make a list of everything that should be covered between you. Ask your boss which 50% you should cover. Do only that, or offer to do a few more bits if you want - you should end up doing way less than you have been!

As you have good terms and conditions I would get signed off by GP and protect yourself from this mess. You are in serious danger here OP. What if you have a meltdown in the office one day? Suddenly you are the bad guy. Nobody is taking responsibility so it's up to you to protect yourself. Please. Even 2 weeks would make a difference.

I have said YABU, for taking on one of her projects that has been passed to someone else when you don't have capacity to complete this and your role.

It sounds like an incredibly tough situation. Have you accessed support through your trust's Employee Assistance Programme (EAP)

There are other examples of support resources linked below https://www.england.nhs.uk/supporting-our-nhs-people/support-now/

While none of the above look particularly
relevant to your situation, the EAP may be useful in helping you to unravel what you can/can't do here and how to approach this, establish and maintain boundaries with this employee and with your managers 💐

Quick update.... OFFICIALLY GOT MY NEW JOB! They want me to start ASAP and it's an internal move so nothing official needs completing other than an email to workforce, so I can start winding down tasks for this job and picking up ones for the new one.

The task in my OP won't get done next week - but I've been explicitly told now not to pick it up so... no longer my problem!

@CantGetAnythingRight this must be a huge relief for you, congratulations 🎉