To take my 8-week-old to a pub early evening?

[boy2026]

Would IBU to attend a group activity (foreign language exchange) in a pub with my 8-week-old? The group meets on a weekday evening (not Friday) 7-9pm. Social drinking (not me as I will be driving) but nothing rowdy. Baby is breastfed so I can't attend unless I take them.

YABU - inappropriate to take a baby to a pub at this time
YANBU - no issues

This is exactly the time it’s easiest to take them anywhere. Tiny immobile babies who will just sleep the whole time. Both of mine would have just slept in sling the whole time, maybe a quick feed, but otherwise it would be like they weren’t there. Make the most of it as it rapidly changes!

I agree. It would highly irritate me too. I would feel as if I need to be quieter or if the baby cries or fusses then you need to deal with them and it’s just distracting. And you are putting people on the spot by asking the organiser. What exactly are the going to say? no, without sounding mean? I also think it will piss people off too and change the whole dynamic

I think it’s ok if you are mindful of everyone else. I used to take my babies out when they were very little. I used to be very low key about it though. Especially if it was a party etc. if the baby needed feeding I’d quietly slip out and feed them and if they were noisy I’d leave.
I find some mothers make it all about them, the type to have lots of accessories and who are showy about breastfeeding etc and I find that tedious.
I’ve taken my babies to posh restaurants and they’ve either slept or been breastfeeding practically under the table. It depends on how easy your kid breastfeeds and how noisy they are.
I did a language course when my first baby was born and came when he was 10 days old. He just slept. That time I had him in a pram so it was more obvious and obviously people were asking about him. I really don’t want to miss any lessons though so I was very keen to go. He was a great feeder and sleeper though so I was lucky with him.
I finished the year with him coming along and didn’t miss too many lessons (I instantly left if he was agitated or started crying) but I didn’t continue the following year as that would not have worked.

I did when I had a baby - enjoy while it lasts I think by about 5 months they were too fussy to do this and it stopped being fun.

Baby in a pub is fine. Unless it’s a particularly rowdy one. I think it’s a bit more of a grey area bringing baby to an adult hobby group. Do other people typically bring their children?

Absolutely fine it this stage, it's when they hit toddler hood it becomes a problem. Unfortunately when mine where tiny people could still smoke in pubs so I never took mine. thankfully that's not a problem now.

If said new born is asleep or just chilling out quiety then fine but more often then not these days if an infant or toddler starts to get a bit cranky or crying the parents dont tend to remove the kids from the pub. Im a bit old school insofar as thinking a pub in the evening is an adult space yet there are quite a here who think that if a pub serves fish fingers its permission to treat the place no differently from soft play and the onus is on others to remove themselves if they find it too much.

I also think it's fine, as long as you don't centre the baby. The problem is that other people might and s/he becomes the focus of the discussion!

Double check the policy of the pub but as long as they allow it it’s fine, why not??? Our local however doesn’t allow kids after 8pm

Of course YANBU.

Tiny baby in a sling, limited attention stealing since they are attached to your chest. At that age I had people not even realise I had a baby attached to me.

So important for new mums to be included and get back out and about, doing something for yourself. It's really hard with tiny breastfed babies, you can end up quite stuck at home/ at just baby things.

Not true for a lot of breastfed babies!

Mine fed every 45min/ hourly at 8 weeks. Also it's 2hrs plus travel time and at 8 weeks I don't think many mums would want their babies to have to wait for a feed. If dad calls to say babies upset, she'd still have to get home.

As long as you leave if it is unsettled and disturbs others

If it were for a meal with your partner or a friend and you’re prepared to take baby out if they cry then of course it’s fine (presumably it isn’t a kid free boozer sort of place). However, I don’t think it’s fair or appropriate to take a baby to an evening adults social group as that just isn’t the vibe or the point of the activity and I wouldn’t have even asked as it’s all just a bit awkward if the host wants to say no, and then if they say yes and then next week someone decides to bring their toddler and before you know it the whole premise is ruined…

I think it’s two different questions. Most pubs here allow children until 8 so if you’re meeting a friend etc then that’s an option (for now! Gets harder soon for sure). I think it’s different though to be part of a group and have people forced to interact with you and your baby as part of the session. As others have mentioned, that might be difficult and cause distress. I know after my second miscarriage I just couldn’t cope around tiny babies for a while, just super triggering. And you don’t know what people are going through.

I think IA probably BU and will message the organiser again to say I won't be coming just yet. I haven't been to the group before so don't have a handle on dynamics and don't want to barge in and ruin things for others.

I'd be fine taking a baby to a pub in the evening, I did, and I'd just leave if they ever got upset (but mine never did, they people-watched or slept).

But I don't think I'd go to an organised group with an 8-week-old. They're quite distracting, people tend to centre them, and it's a language group... I'm just not sure that it's a place to take children.

To me the timings are too late to be taking the baby to a pub. As others have said, lots have a rule about no children after 8pm and although it's only a baby and in a sling they could probably lose their licence if they allowed you to stay longer if that was one of their conditions.
I personally don't like town on a Friday night as it can be rowdy, so even though you would be going early I would worry about early drinkers already being out so I wouldn't feel safe taking a baby out to that setting.

Go for it. And enjoy

Perfectly socially acceptable to have a baby in the pub at that time if the place allows it. But it may or may not fit the dynamic of the group, so as you don't know them well I think you're right to wait a bit.

Depends what the activity is, a lot of people got to these things for some adult time

Such miserable people on this thread. Heaven forbid a sleeping newborn is present in anyone's line of sight.

I think it’s fine, in a couple of months your baby may be having bath/bed sounds that time so make the most of it whilst you can! I took my baby to weight watchers sessions in a pub from 7-8pm when he was 5-16 weeks old and it was no bother.

Does the pub allow it? Most where I live don't allow children after 7. If it is allowed I don't see any issue, babies are very portable at that age.

and also very tightly wound people

I think you're asking the wrong people! You should be asking the group members who have signed up for an adult activity with other adults.

I'd be fucked off if people started bringing children to something similar that I attend. I appreciate it's a baby in a sling but it's the precedent it sets. I'd probably be more inclined to just stop going though.