I have three boys ages 15, 12 and 8. All are neurodivergent- oldest 2 are diagnosed ADHD/ ASD and youngest is ASD but probably also ADD. It's all quite subtle though and often hard to remember they even have these diagnoses. they are in mainstream school, have friends, do activities etc, but just so many different minor and major struggles all the time and everythign just feels like such a slog.
My eldest- despite being reasonably bright- struggles academically and has poor executive function and is careless. He can't keep on top of what homework he has to do when/ grades etc and I end up having to keep track of everything and remind him about everything all the time. So much extra admin emailing wiht teachers/ therapist/ special needs coordinator/ getting him support services/ thinking of ways to engage him in school etc. He has struggled with social stuff and mental health (anxiety/ depression) in the past . He is doing better now, has friends but I"m just always on edge that we are going to go back to the darkest times. He's thoughtful and kind and good hearted but requires so much support all the time.
Middle son is bright and does well at school but incredibly hyperactive and high energy and overwhelming. He is a sweet and fun boy but It's always just so "much" being around him. He also fights brutally with his younger brother and has huge mood swings all the time.
Youngest is very sweet out of the house and to others but it takes all his eneergy and so he is incredibly moody, and hard work at home. Takes everything out on us. So many tantrums. Now he is starting to get poor self esteem as he says he is bad at everythign compared to peers and there is nothing he is good at. My heart breaks for him when he says this. He has a few friends and playdates here and there but no really good friends yet. He has decided he hates reading and only wants to be on screens and it's a constant battle. He struggles to entertain himself and needs so much input from me.
It jsut seems like such a constant struggle. I hear friends saying how much joy and meaning their children bring them and how much they love being mums. I try so so hard to be a good mum, to connect with them, do things they enjoy, show them love, access all the support and services they need etc etc. I just feel so exhausted and overwhelmed and burned out all the time and find little joy in it. AIBU?