What is the point of my life?

[Springfeelings76]

I dont know if I'm just having one of those days although if I'm honest, I feel like this quite often. I feel like there's no point to my life. Single, no kids. No one needs me. Very dysfunctional family, trauma in childhood and adulthood. Have a handful of friends but they are all busy with their own lives and families. I'm not working until the weekend so asked two friends to meet up, neither have got back to me. Went for a nap this afternoon (As I often do if not working) because it just passes some time. I do everything on my own really, spend 75% of my time on my own. I just feel lost. Already on antidepressants, have been for 20 years. Have had years of counselling of tons of different methods, both nhs and private. I don't know what to do. Would love to get a dog for company but can't due to finances and work.

I’m so sorry you’re feeling blue.
My first thought is might you consider getting involved with volunteering? There are so many incredibly worthwhile charities and causes that would love to have some help. In return you might find it brings you some purpose, structure, connection and a boost to your battered feelings of self-worth?

If you love dogs, how about volunteering to walk the pet of a poorly or elderly person through The Cinnamon Trust?

Or how about volunteering with the RSPCA or a local dog rescue?

I wish you well x

I think the point of one's life is to live it fully. I am single, childless, most of my friends are two hour drive away. I find enjoyment elsewhere - hikes, crossfit classes, dance classes, drawing, reading, thinking nice thoughts, planning holidays, cooking nice meals. What is it you enjoy?

I don't have any words of wisdom because I'm the same but just wanted to send you a cyberhug. It's pants.xx

Volunteering is a great idea - I have made friends that way.
Or you could sign up for a night class - you might find your passion.
Or could you sign up for something else? WI, netball, a choir group, yoga/pilates, am dram, camera club, flower arranging, history club…. Anything really, to get you out meeting people

The problem is that life doesn't come to you, you have to create a life for yourself. It's kind of easier when you have children because you have a group of people with things in common immediately - i.e. other parents at the school, at clubs, etc. And you always have your kids as a focal point. If you DON'T have kids or a partner then it's a bit harder as you need to go out looking for things to make your life feel full.

Hobbies are fantastic. I love reading, gaming, walking, writing. I also go to a hobby group twice a week so that's a group of 30 friends immediately with something in common. Try a book club, a sport, a knit and natter group? Whatever fits with your interests.

It can take a while, and it takes a huge amount of courage to try new things, but ultimately that's where you're going to get your fulfilment in life.

Having a hobby can be a great way to meet people you have something in common with. It can broaden your life considerably. Is there anything that you particularly enjoy doing that could become a regular activity? The more you have in your life, the more purpose you tend to find. I’m at the opposite end of life where I sometimes look at people my own age who have achieved enormous success and wonder where I could have done things differently when I was younger to have had a similar life experience. Now I just look at the smaller things I enjoy doing and am grateful for them. I love walking in the countryside. I find it exhilarating to to alone or with company. I also enjoy growing things. Both have given me enormous pleasure in life and become a part of the point of my life. There’s bound to be something special you also enjoy too that you can find pleasure and enjoyment in doing.

Sending hugs @Springfeelings76

You are not alone and your life is unique. No-one will ever live this life but you. It’s a miracle, it really is.

Not in a woo woo way. But the fact that you made it onto planet earth - surviving lots of obstacles on the way, by the sound of things - and you’re still here…..that in itself is a miracle.

Life is short, we’re here such a short time. You’re a long time dead (and we’ll all die one day). So try and grab it by the horns if you can.

So many people don’t have kids. And for people who do…… their great grandkids will have forgotten them. We don’t need to procreate for proof of life, or to justify our existence. We are enough. (I also don’t have kids. I did want them, but it’s the hand that life dealt me.) And I’m also single too. My husband had an affair and left me. But once I got over the shock and trauma of it, I realised I can’t waste my life mourning that either.

It’s not too late to learn to relish life while we’re here. And don’t concern yourself with how others spend theirs. They’re them. You’re you. 💐

Join a gym with a spa and gym classes

Can you get a job win more hours perhaps? How old are you?

Have you thought of fostering a dog? Sometimes rescues will meet the cost.

Have look at the smaller rescues in your area or as someone has mentioned the cinnamon trust.

Lots of areas look for car drivers to help with getting people to hospital appointments and shopping.

I get that it feels a bit unmoored when there are no people or things relying on you.

That said, they are not what gives life meaning. Your life doesn’t need to have a point- you don’t have to be something, achieve something, or be a resource to other people. All those are good if that’s what you want, but they aren’t the point of life.

I felt massively adrift at various stages of my life, and got myself pot plants, fish and eventually a cat. They noticed when I was home, and appreciated me looking after them. I liked that.

I am also religious, so get comfort, challenge and purpose there.

But you don’t have to have purpose/point- you can just be. That’s ok. Personally I like ‘being’ better with a bar of chocolate and a good book! Do small things that are enjoyable- scented candles, baths, wine, crisps, puzzles, books… whatever you like. That’s enough.

On the other hand if you want to achieve something, volunteer or start some hobbies. But it’s for you- what you would enjoy.
You are enough, even if you don’t.

Getting a pet will certainly help! What about a cat instead of a dog?

Sign up to a local social group to go on day trips to places of interest, hikes, nights out together.

A solo trip with other solo travellers, abroad if you can save for it?

Solo dates to the coffee shop, museum and galleries, free clubs at the library and local church, cinema and bite to eat, day trip to the seaside to sit on the shore and look out on the horizon.

People think I'm a bit weird because I have no issue with going it alone. I have done it on many occasions. I am single and most of my friends and acquaintances are married or partnered. I also have no interest of being a part of a clique - I find conformity boring and unfulfilling.

Friendships, any relationship really, need to be attended to and taken some effort to maintain.

Big hugs x

Do you work from home or in an isolated environment? If so, maybe you need to look for a job in which you are more connected to other people?

Go you have any hobbies or community social things you could get involved in? might help you feel more connected to others.

at the end of the day, what’s the point in any of our lives? Some of us have people who rely on us, but that’s usually of our own design. Essentially life is what you make it and we have to do things that we find meaningful. That’ll be different for everyone. But I know it’s hard to find the motivation for that when you’re feeling low.

someone suggested a trip for solo travellers. If you like travelling then that could be a great thing to do. There will be others there in the same boat and I’m sure you’d have things in common. Maybe a thought.

If I were you, I'd do whatever I could to make that dog a possibility. Can you get a rescue? A cat might be more affordable?

I've been out of work for a while and it feels like the days all blurry into one long eternal now. I'm just really aware of how time passes and that it will always catch up to the present. I don't really do anything apart from clean my house and it's driving me crazy. My DC older teen and I don't really have anyone to talk to day to day.

Can you pick up more work to keep you occupied ? I'm really looking forward to working again I think it will make me feel sane

Are you job hunting @ThatFairy

Could you study?

How about a rescue Greyhound? Provided it was walked before and after work they love long snoozes. I dont generally advocate dogs for people working FT but ex-racers are often re-homed to working people, I understand. They can be very cuddly and affectionate and any dog opens up opportunities to walk and talk with other people. I hope it works out for you.

I've already got a cat and she's very timid and scared ex rescue so it wouldnt be fair on her to get a dog.

I am but I'm applying for administrative roles rather than customer service or warehouse jobs I'm experienced in, and getting nothing. I've been thinking about doing some short courses. I know how to make spreadsheets and stuff but it would be good to be able to say I have these qualifications in certain areas

Focus on health first. Until you have dealt with what’s going on in your life personally, you will not be able to move forward. Do it for yourself and your children.

There is as much point to your life as there is to any other life. Your timid cat, my late dog, the CEO of Apple, the woman next door who has three children. All equally important/unimportant lives on the great scheme of things ... and all short. So, your life is as special as anybody elses. And it sounds like you're not hurting any other creatures, so you are one of the good ones.
Just do more of what you love whenever you can. And best wishes to you.

Well, just today, you have made a post that I read with interest (and empathy - I am sorry you feel that way) and it really has made me think about what the point of anyone’s life is. I sometimes wonder what I have done with my life and whether it is good enough. What I am saying is you have had a direct impact on my life today. We are strangers to each other but you have impacted me. It’s not what you are asking, it’s not what is bothering you, but I thought I would tell you. I hope that doesn’t sound patronising, because I mean it genuinely

Thank you. Thats really nice x

Thanks so much for your reply, I've got a very timid/skittish rescue cat so it wouldn't be fair to her to get a dog.