To not want to do this? Nursery

[Thriftaholic]

I have a DD in mainstream school that I drop and collect, and a DS in a special needs school who takes a passenger services school bus that collects him from home and drops him off at home in the afternoon.

I also have a 4yo (nursery age, starts full time school in September)

I've been trying to get my 4yo in to the nursery based in my DD's school since last year as his nursery closed without notice.

Finally he has been offered a place but the offer is for afternoons, 5 days a week, 11.45 until 3.45. Fixed hours.

DD finishes at 3.20 so I'd need to hang around at the school for 25 minutes after she comes out, to wait for my 4yo, meaning I won't be home to collect my DS from his bus. I just about make it home in time with the 'normal' school run getting DD.

Also, If he takes the place as its offered it means I will be going back and forth to the school three times a day. I don't drive so take the bus.

I'm self employed so whilst it's technically possible it's going to be bloody stressful (I'm neurodivergent and have some health problems - I feel overwhelmed just thinking about it) 😐

I have a DH present but he works FT nights which are not school-friendly. He doesn't get to bed until around 11am most days. He could possibly get up for DS' bus a couple of days a week but there's no way he could do 5. He doesn't get anywhere near the sleep he needs.

What we wanted from nursery (and applied for) was the 15 hours spread across two days which is what his last nursery did.

DH said we will make this offer work but I feel it's going to cause more hassle than it is help and I'd be better off just keeping him at home.

He thinks we should proceed and take the place as its good for DS and he really enjoyed it when he went for his taster days. He thinks most people would just accept it and make it work.

Would you? AIBU? WWYD?

Sorry cross posted!

That does sound like a happy compromise @Thriftaholic.
Fingers crossed they will come up with a morning in the near future also.
And, as PP have said, can your DH do your DD drop off on those days if he drives?

I agree most school Nursery classes will have a structured session and can't have people collecting at different times throughout the session BUT it is a strange school that has a 25minute gap between school ending and Nursery ending. I would presume quite a lot of the Nursery parents have dc in the school and that is a long time to be hanging around in the cold and rain.

Separately, if your dh is working nights, how come he isn't going to be until 11am ? Night shift workers are mostly home many hours before that.

Collect your little one early (you’ll still have to pay) and speak to nursery to see if they do wrap around care. Ours is similar so they charge something like £6 to collect at same time as school.

Nursery schools you can't really. They can claw back funding if you don't claim it all but they make you take the full week. I have the Same problem, I don't want my son in nursery Monday / tuesday as I'm home but it was full week or not, I thought 'oh no problem I'll just keep him off' but nope! Funding can be taken back and they can also cancel your place.

For the obvious reasons of most kids at nursery will have a sibling in school. If they both finished at the same then you'd have some kids collected promptly at 3.30 every day while you'd have the same kids waiting around being left while their parents collected their siblings.
It's much less stressful for the kids in nursery if nursery finishes after school does. It's standard practice in school nurseries to do that. Same as they start their morning sessions later than school start time!

Ok but if they’re the same building, staggering by 5/10 minutes makes sense but 25 is odd.

Like the kids all come pouring out of the classroom and you grab yours - takes like 1 minute usually, then factoring in a slight delay in the end of the school day/a forgotten coat or bag/walking to nursery pick up area is maximum 5-10 minutes surely?

I'm not sure how this is any different from having to collect from two different classes anyway (unless it's a very small school and all kids come out the same place). DD's school staggers nursery by 5 minutes, and gives 10 minutes grace for pick-up as they recognise parents can't be standing outside two classrooms at once (even when they were opposite ends of the school I never needed more than 5 minutes unless I had to talk to the teacher, and then I got the one where the teacher was more likely to need a word first).

That’s really tough for you @Thriftaholic. I’m hoping you can get an alternative sorted

Glad it worked out for you OP.

Nursery’s attached to schools are not really there as a means of free childcare. They are there to benefit your child and get them ready for school

If you’ve coped this amount of time, I wouldn’t do the nursery. It’s too much hassle for you.

Can't you just collect from nursery early? I've never heard of a nursery with a fixed finishing time.

Ignore me, I didn't read your update!

They have to fit two lots of funded 15 hours into a week. Most school nurseries are 8.30-11.30 and 12.30-3.30. The staff are entitled to a lunch break and need to set up for the afternoon so they get the same experience as the morning children, not walking into mess and mayhem. They can’t let them leave early because they are monitored on the hours they are providing for each child and cannot fraudulently claim it when they’re not there.

Is there a reason your dp is getting to bed so late after a nightshift? Is that because of the hours he works or personal choice? If possible, in the first instance, I'd be expecting him to get to bed earlier if he can and get up for the returning bus.

I'm surprised you think nightshift doesn't work around family needs, where I work it's a very common option for families with limited childcare, so they can sleep while dc are at school.