How do you really tackle loneliness?

[Apologynotaccepted]

Following on from my thread yesterday. I am late 40s no DH or kids (currently online dating) I live alone, no pets.
Great job, lots of friends and active social life.
Is there anything I am missing? What are some real world tips for combating loneliness or is it a 'just get on with it' thing?
I'd be really interested to hear any tips or how you tackle it if you live alone.
Is it as simple as a pet?

When do you feel lonely? You say you have an active social life. Are you looking for more things to do in your free time?

Is it just you miss having a partner and would like to have someone around in the evenings?

I guess the thing is from reading your post is what is it you think you are missing?
You have a good job, friends and an active social life. Where do you feel like you are struggling? Is it living alone or family support?
I don't know the answer at all - I am just wondering how you're thinking about it.

For myself I feel like loneliness can be a state of mind in part. But then I am about to live on my own and am terrified of being lonely!.

good point from both - I think it is the living on my own- when I get back and no one is there

I do simple things like lights on timers etc but sometimes I'd like to live with someone / people again

Well, think about what you actually want when you say you'd like to live with someone -- do you mean a romantic relationship, or having a lodger? Or living in some kind of communal setting?

I assume as you're internet dating that you want a partner...if I was in your situation, I'd really focus on meeting someone. I know that's not a very popular idea on here but vast majority of people want to be in a relationship and there's a reason for that. You say you have a job and friends, so you are already fine in that respect. You can't conjure up family out of nowhere so finding a life partner is one of the few things you do have some control over.

Get a cat or two! They are fabulous company.

Not to be glib but I think this is what cats are for!
when I live on my own a couple of kitties will be all the company I need

My friend is like you and says she misses just the moan about work after work and having someone make her a cup of tea or she can offer to make one for them. I stayed with her for 3 weeks a couple of years ago. She still went to work and we ended up in a little routine of me cooking and then watching tv together often. She said that’s what she missed.

I grew up in a house of 6 kids and then shared houses of which some were very much a social hub and then lived with DH. I like some time alone but have never lived completely alone and think I would be a bit shit at it. If I end up alone I plan on having a mid week lodger. My BIL and a friend have done this when working away, Monday to Thursday night. It means someone is about a little bit plus it’s tax free up to I think 6k a year. Need to vet them but they also have zero rights to stay and no notice given. I’m married and we have decent pensions but we each receive 50% when the other dies and it doesn’t suddenly cost 50% less to run a house. We had a lodger for a few months when we bought our first house. It was money for old rope.

I have several single friends who choose to let their spare rooms out not so much because they need the money but because they like the company and familiarity of returning home to somebody Would that be something you’d consider?

Also, there’s probably something in acknowledging that there’s nothing abnormal about feeling lonely sometimes, it’s a perfectly normal emotion. Many people feel lonely sometimes even if they have partners, children, friends and work in their lives. Sometimes structuring things so that you always have some good social contact every day and then can set up particular jobs and tasks at home for the times you’ll be less occupied helps to manage your approach.

Be wary of getting a pet as suddenly you can't just go away. Plus my cat had shat on the floor this morning.

Mine certainly are, but I don't think anything I might say to the OP would be helpful as I have no interest in sharing my home space with another human being.

I am older but living alone for the 1st time in over 40 years! I have also moved into a new part of the country where I only know my daughter. Lifelong friends are all married and are reasonably wealthy so I feel a bit out of it (although they've been very supportive). I'm really struggling with loneliness. I don't do any paid work anymore...sadly....but I do volunteer in a charity shop and am looking for some more voluntary work.

I would like to find a new partner too but it's very hard. I'm on a dating app and have had quite a few dates but nobody so far. I live in hope but they do say older men are looking for 'nurse or purse', neither of which I want to be.
Unfortunately this is what I've found. I've parked the apps for now as it was getting pretty depressing.

I would like to travel so I am looking at solo holidays ( eek) but they are pricey. So, in essence it all needs me to initiate stuff and I have serious depression. I struggle most at the weekends....Sundays especially. I don't have the answers and that feeling of nobody coming home, nobody to make a cup of tea, even nobody to bicker with or share a boxset.

Absolutely. You are removing one of the wonderful things about being single and childfree, the ability to get up and head away for a weekend on a whim.

agree my cats aren’t good company and disgustingly also had one decide to poo on my living room rug last night so wouldn’t advise!

My friend is in her forties and long term single...she fills her life with pets. From my perspective as an outsider, it's a sticking plaster. What it has actually done imo is kept her slightly trapped.

some interesting points here - I suppose I was thinking a pet makes you want to come home- whereas actually maybe this is a strength that I am free

Agree with a PP who said concentrate on dating

I agree with this. I'm sure there are lots of people who get everything they need from their job and social life etc, but its ok to want something more. Even on MN

In that case, it might be as simple as getting a pet. I live alone and have no interest in changing that but I do have a dog. There is nothing better than coming home, after having to engage with humans, to the peace and stress-free welcome from a waggy tail. Dogs solve everything if you're a dog person.

I don’t live with any humans, nor do I want to, but I have always had animals. I never feel lonely. Perhaps I would without the animals, but I am always busy and doing interesting things. I have a long term partner but prefer my own space, and feel content seeing him 3 times a week on on holidays together. Equally travel on my own, with and without pets, and don’t feel lonely then either. I think it’s just doing what I want when I want, and never being afraid of doing anything on my own, so don’t need anyone, it’s always through choice

I'd definitely suggest getting a pet. When you live alone the idea of coming home to someone seems terribly exciting, until... you actually have to come home to someone and they either turned the house upside down in your absence or are grumpy, or you can't agree on what TV programme to watch or what time to go to bed.
I am in the same situation as you. You know what I do? I tell people I date that I prefer phone calls over messages. Yep, it's as easy as that. I get home from work, make myself a cup of tea and then I just randomly ring up whoever it is I am dating at the moment to have a long chat about our day. I also have a couple of friends I can call. I think our over-reliance on text messages is massively responsible for feelings of loneliness. It's important to be able to talk to a human and hear their voice even if they are not physically present in your space.