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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Abusive/narcissist mother

18 replies

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 09:52

I am wondering if my mother has been/is abusive with me. I know she’s suffering from depression but I don’t know if it is actual abuse I have been suffering from her and if my feelings of hopelessness and anger are justified against her. Here’s a list of a few things she has done :

  • constantly telling me I should lose weight, put me on diets, would look at me from head to toe with disgust and laughing if I was wearing tight revealing clothes. Telling me I’m ugly, that my hair look so bad I look like « Hagrid from Harry Potter » harassing me to cut them short etc
  • She hit me a lot. I have memories of me lying on the floor and her kicking my stomach with her feet, I was 12
  • screaming and shouting anytime I have a different opinion or challenging her
  • I went to uni and she supported me. But I didn’t manage to have a good career. Whenever I struggled and needed help emotionally she was not helping and actually horrible with me, made me shut down and avoiding talking to her about my problems. She’s making me feel she’s ashamed of me all the time because I don’t have an important job.
  • I got married and bought properties. None of them is to her tastes. « Not great and actually awful » « most people are settling better than you at your age » Criticising my husband, « I can tell he doesn’t have loads of money and you are struggling »
  • I’m not raising my daughters properly, and « I’m lucky I didn’t have sons, they would have ended up in jail »

am I unreasonable to think it’s unacceptable? I’m 35 and I’m only questioning this now. Always thought she was just doing her best and not actually abusive. I think now I have daughters it is tormenting me and I don’t know if I should stop seeing her for the sake of my mental health. I’ve been suffering from depression all my life.

thank you in advance for your feedback :(

OP posts:
Motnight · 02/03/2026 09:58

Yes your mother is abusive, Op. Have you considered counselling to help you come to terms with this?

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 10:34

@Motnight thank you for your reply.. feels insane to me to admit she is abusive for some reason. I am considering counselling yes. I don’t want to hurt my daughters like she has. Also I know she physically abused me and I remember clearly violent episodes but I have also unclear and strange flashbacks and I don’t know what to do with them. I guess I have a lot to process

OP posts:
Endofyear · 02/03/2026 10:59

Her behaviour was/is definitely abusive. Have you had any therapy to deal with this? The first step is understanding and acknowledging your abusive childhood. Then you can move on to how you want to manage the relationship going forward, how much contact/if any and protecting yourself from further abuse.

Fearlesssloth · 02/03/2026 11:08

As other PPs have said she is and always was abusive and toxic. I just don’t understand the mindset of a mother who can treat their child like this. It goes against all the intrinsic biological norms (couldn’t think of a better way to put that!) of a mother when they have a child. She must have always been deeply unhappy and full of self-loathing (not that that’s an excuse of course). You need some professional help to process all this. I think you’d be a lot happier if you cut her out of your life to be honest. Maybe writing her a letter to tell her why you no longer wish to have her in your life would help

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 11:08

@Endofyear No I never had any therapy. When I confront my mother she keeps telling me she had a violent childhood, much more difficult than mine and basically I need to shut up about it and stop complaining. It’s genuinely only now at 35 that I start to think maybe its not normal :(

OP posts:
Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 12:02

@Fearlesssloth her obsession is repeating over and over again that she had a traumatic childhood herself and therefore mine was good and I have nothing to complain about :( So yes I’m considering cutting her off. When I speak to her I feel awful and am so unhappy

OP posts:
Yourcousinrachel · 02/03/2026 13:27

Just because her childhood was egregiously traumatic doesnt mean that your childhood didnt do damage to you.... However your mum may never be able to understand what she did wrong or accept it......that can be a hard thing to accept....

It is normal to be confused about whether it is or isnt abuse (such as often felt by people experiencing domestic violence or coercive control experience).
It was normal for your household, you knew nothing different........

I think you should definitely see if you can get some counselling. Sometimes this might be available through your employer ( do they have an EAP helpline).

Also i think you will be able to use your own relationship with your daughters to be the best mum within your power. That doesnt mean material things at all, but having a close relationship, building up your daughters self esteem, encouraging independence and equipping them to be resilient and having good boundaries. You sound thoughtful and aware, op, as you've already said you dont want to hurt your daughters like she hurt you).
Try to limit contact with your mum if its helping you feel better. I too learned about my family and realised some things at 36!! When you look back, you think why did i not see a pattern earlier?

I wonder if you might also be helped by reading and understanding more about the dynamic. Theres a lot available, such as "mothers who cant love, a healing guide for daughters"

Or online articles
heysigmund.com/toxic-parent/

There are many of us, too many, but your daughters are not going to be saying that about you xx

thepariscrimefiles · 02/03/2026 13:34

She sounds like a monster. She was incredibly abusive to you, mentally and physically and she would probably have been prosecuted and you would have been removed from her care if your abuse had been reported to the police and social services at the time.

Please keep her away from your children. She isn't a safe person to be around them. Don't feel any obligation to support or care for her in her old age. I would probably go no-contact with her.

Motnight · 02/03/2026 13:36

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 12:02

@Fearlesssloth her obsession is repeating over and over again that she had a traumatic childhood herself and therefore mine was good and I have nothing to complain about :( So yes I’m considering cutting her off. When I speak to her I feel awful and am so unhappy

That is a good enough reason to go no contact, Op.

LittleGreenDragons · 02/03/2026 14:31

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 12:02

@Fearlesssloth her obsession is repeating over and over again that she had a traumatic childhood herself and therefore mine was good and I have nothing to complain about :( So yes I’m considering cutting her off. When I speak to her I feel awful and am so unhappy

Excuse the language here.

Your mother, as a child, ate sandwiches filled with 90% shit.
You, as a child, ate sandwiches filled with 30% shit.

Yes she had a shittier upbringing than you but that doesn't mean yours wasn't shitty either.

Look up DARVO as that will help explain her deflections a bit more, but I agree with others please seek counselling and think about going LC for a while.

Redrobinrose · 02/03/2026 17:08

She's 100percent abusive

Don't feel guilty cut ties, she's the cuas eof your depression, do not let her poison your children or turn them against you with her manipulation.

Basically run for your life good luck op

Amira83 · 02/03/2026 17:22

I do not speak or see my dad. my children have not met him because of this. He was abusive to my mum in front of me and my brother throughout our childhood years and mentally abusive to me and my brother. My brother left home and when I was 16 I left aswel. My mum does still speak to me although we don't have a proper relationship it's just surface level hello how are you, as she is still with my dad. The point of telling you this is, my mum has always told me I have to see him 'becos he's my dad' but I refused, so our relationship isn't close at all. In the years I haven't seen my dad my life has been happy . Its sad that he hasn't seen me for years and I have grown up without a dad, and he hasn't seen my children but we are better off. Think of yourself, think of your children. What you have said to me is abuse. Physical and mental abuse. Its important that you tell your mum the reason you do not want to see her. She needs to understand the blame is not with You.

Even though she is your mum you need to stand up for yourself, do not let her treat you badly. Confide in your husband so he can emotionally support you.

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 20:09

@Amira83I have written a long text to her explaining that I do not wish to talk to her or see her again - and why. I know she has read it but she’s not replying. She probably never will I suppose. Time for me to start some kind a therapy now… Thank you for telling me your story. I don’t speak to my dad…. aswell. My parents are divorced and my dad didn’t really care for me when I was a child as he re married and his second wife didn’t want him to have a relationship with me.. Anyway. After cutting off my dad I have to do the same with my mum and it’s very painful. I will talk to my husband like you suggested, when I’m ready. He has no idea I’ve been through this journey these last weeks

OP posts:
RedStrawberryJuice · 16/07/2026 15:24

Spanieljoker · 02/03/2026 09:52

I am wondering if my mother has been/is abusive with me. I know she’s suffering from depression but I don’t know if it is actual abuse I have been suffering from her and if my feelings of hopelessness and anger are justified against her. Here’s a list of a few things she has done :

  • constantly telling me I should lose weight, put me on diets, would look at me from head to toe with disgust and laughing if I was wearing tight revealing clothes. Telling me I’m ugly, that my hair look so bad I look like « Hagrid from Harry Potter » harassing me to cut them short etc
  • She hit me a lot. I have memories of me lying on the floor and her kicking my stomach with her feet, I was 12
  • screaming and shouting anytime I have a different opinion or challenging her
  • I went to uni and she supported me. But I didn’t manage to have a good career. Whenever I struggled and needed help emotionally she was not helping and actually horrible with me, made me shut down and avoiding talking to her about my problems. She’s making me feel she’s ashamed of me all the time because I don’t have an important job.
  • I got married and bought properties. None of them is to her tastes. « Not great and actually awful » « most people are settling better than you at your age » Criticising my husband, « I can tell he doesn’t have loads of money and you are struggling »
  • I’m not raising my daughters properly, and « I’m lucky I didn’t have sons, they would have ended up in jail »

am I unreasonable to think it’s unacceptable? I’m 35 and I’m only questioning this now. Always thought she was just doing her best and not actually abusive. I think now I have daughters it is tormenting me and I don’t know if I should stop seeing her for the sake of my mental health. I’ve been suffering from depression all my life.

thank you in advance for your feedback :(

I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Her behavior is absolutely unacceptable. It goes far beyond what anyone should have to tolerate. Her depression is not an excuse for being abusive.

Just like in my own family, I've stopped accepting emotional immaturity as an excuse for harmful behavior. Everyone is responsible for their own actions. For me, physical violence is a hard boundary. Once someone becomes physically violent, I can no longer tolerate that person. When I was a child, I couldn't stop the physical abuse because I was too scared. As an adult, one incident of physical violence ended when I instinctively hit back after a man hit me. I'm not saying that hitting back is the right solution—it was simply an automatic reflex. My hand reacted the moment he struck me. I also had nowhere to go because he kept following me until I was trapped with no exit.

After that, the violence stopped and it never happened again. Our relationship even improved later. I also made it very clear that something like that must never happen again, or we would be dealing with it through the police.

Years ago, when I finally told people outside my home what had been happening, they recommended that I take a self-defense course so I could feel safer and know how to protect myself. I never went because I don't like physical confrontations or violence. I would only ever use physical force as an absolute last resort, if there were no other way out and leaving wasn't possible.

Never think that there is something wrong with you. Through my own experiences, I've come to realize that a child loves their mother no matter what kind of mother she is. I struggled with that for a long time. I kept letting her back into my life, trying to trust her again, and every time she reached out to me, I immediately got my hopes up. But eventually, I grew tired of that cycle. First of all, you deserve respect and peace.

Lights33 · 16/07/2026 17:29

I have an emotionally abusive, narcissistic mother with whom I am NC and even she sounds better than what you’re describing here OP. Please do not underestimate the effect this will have had on you - your entire nervous system will have been trained on responding to this poor excuse for a “mother” and therapy is definitely worth pursuing to free yourself from her influence, which will be deeply ingrained. If you can’t afford therapy (as I couldn’t for many years) then reading up on narcissistic abuse is also very helpful. I’m so sorry you’ve been treated so badly- nobody deserves this. Good luck and stay strong - they thrive on drama so don’t get sucked into any further communication with her now that you’ve sent your message.

DoneWithMIL · 16/07/2026 17:35

She is both emotionally and physically abusive. I'm sorry you deserved better.
I recommend children of emotionally immature parents by Lindsay Gibson and Toxic parents by Susan Forward.

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