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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Meant to be moving to Dubai in 4 weeks

967 replies

Medesres · 01/03/2026 15:42

We've been planning a move to Dubai for a while now. Dh's work has an office out there and it seemed like great opportunity to live abroad and experience sth different. I've got a couple of friends out there already too who love the lifestyle.

Watching the news for the past 24 hours and I'm really starting to question things. I had no idea how close to Iran it was and who knows what might happen next. Part of me is hoping it will all be resolved soon but hard to believe.

My friend who already lives there has spent the night sleeping in one room with her dh and kids scared of all the missile noises.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Cardomomle · 02/03/2026 11:39

FloofBunny · 02/03/2026 11:33

Wrong, it borders 3.

Cornwall is a separate country in all but name. 🤭

Show quote history

4 -Yorkshire 💪

domenica1 · 02/03/2026 11:45

Crikeyalmighty · 02/03/2026 11:36

Being really boring but can I just mention that if anyone is going abroad for a few years to make sure you pay voluntary NI to keep your years up or you may come back to less than full pension rate - particularly true if you haven’t yet got a ‘full card of 30 plus years’ and if you haven’t yet been getting contribution paid due to young children - I’m just doing this as H has a 2 year gap due to this and at 62 is4 years less than ‘full’

I should note that nobody should be short of contributions if they have young children. You must register for CB even if it’s not paid due to high earnings as you get your contributions paid up to the youngest child being 12 I think?

I think it really depends on your age. Looking at the way the national finances are going I will be astonished if in 20 years the universal state pension is still a thing. I’m short a few years because I missed the point I make above for a little while and just not sure it’s worth the investment.

Piknik · 02/03/2026 11:46

OldForANewMum · 01/03/2026 16:56

OP, I've read your original post, all your subsequent posts and a good selection of the replies. First, in the current situation it is literally impossible to tell what will happen in 4 weeks, as of today. You're going to have to live with the uncertainty for at least a few days, possibly for weeks or months. As others have said, your OH needs to be in very close contact with his bosses in the UK and with those already out in UAE and keep up with events as the position emerges.

However, as with some other posters, I am horrified but not surprised as your near- total lack of knowledge about the reality of the UAE, and its proximity to Iran is not the biggest issue. For context, I worked for a particular global company for 5 years with a prominent presence in UAE and for a 6 month period I spent 10 days a month working there. That was pre-Covid - lockdown then hit and I spent the rest of my time at the company working remotely with the same colleagues in Dubai. I have travelled a lot both for work and leisure, and never bothered to go to Dubai on my own dime for most of the reasons others have stated, however I was quite glad to go there for work as it was interesting. It was also, crucially, broadly winter when I was spending time there (October to February) which is a good time to be out of the UK for 10 days a month in sunshine.

So a few random things I strongly urge you to think about, before you go - regardless of what happens with Iran:

  • The climate is almost unliveable for most Brits, no matter what they say. By April it is over 40 celsius most days and it isn't desert heat, it's humid. You go from air conditioned building to air conditioned vehicle to air conditioned building and that's the only way to survive. That alone would probably stop me moving there (and I've lived in SE Asia). I have colleagues and friends who grew up there and still find the climate almost unliveable, and that has worsened in recent years with climate change
  • I assume you're female. On a day to day basis, it's perfectly possible to live an apparently 'normal' Western-style life in Dubai as a woman, and never come into any tricky situations. But you are very much reliant on luck as you simply do not have the same human rights you have at home. In Dubai, everything is fine... until it isn't. My husband (note: husband - we're married) came out to visit me on one trip. I didn't change my name on marriage and so when he came out I got him to bring a copy of our marriage certificate with him. It's not common in tourist hotels but it's perfectly credible we might have had to prove our marriage or be breaking the law. I really mean this - look into your right, decide if you're comfortable living like that medium term. Have a serious think about how much you trust your OH, too
  • Visa, work, financial and legal matters - go and find expat forums and hang out on them to understand the position on all sorts of things. Be extremely careful of any financial entanglements when you're out there. It's very easy to come a-cropper legally in Dubai if you do things the wrong way.
  • It might seem like the money is good but remember there are almost zero public services (unless you are Emirati, which you aren't). You will pay for everything. Factor that in.
  • Again for context, I lived in a different, SE Asian majority Muslim country and would do so again. Religion is not an issue, culture is. I am an adventurous traveller and would never choose to live and work in Dubai (I was offered more than one job when I was working out there and I politely declined). Each to their own, but make sure you're making knowledgeable, informed, active choices about what you're doing.
  • Ethics - as others have said, there are some serious ethical issues underpinning Dubai's society.
  • Through work, I have friends in Dubai, some of whom are British born and brought up, and some of whom grew up in Dubai (none are Emirati though - you can be born and live your whole life in Dubai and never gain citizenship or any real rights under the law). They all live a very good life out there and they are there for reasons. But I don't think any of them would disagree with the down sides.

I think you need to treat this as a wake-up call to do the research you should've done previously. Nobody has a crystal ball so I may well be proved wrong within days or weeks, but I suspect the situation is going to blow over relatively quickly as Trump doesn't have the political capital at home to wage war for long in the Middle East. What Netanyahu does is anyone's guess but Iran is weakened and my guess is things will calm down, at least outside of Iran's borders, pretty quickly. If that is the case, great. But do your research whilst you have the chance. I have little doubt that whatever you OH has agreed to, in the current situation at minimum he will have an easy 'out' from his employer if you change your minds about going. You might find that even if the current situation calms down, you might want that.

I wish you well, whatever you decide. But please - research properly and make an active and informed decision.

Excellent post. First hand knowledge, experience and opinion.

OP you would be wise to read this more than once and consider the points made.

And just as an aside, I am always heartened by people spending time to write long, considered and helpful posts on a million topics on MN.

SerendipityJane · 02/03/2026 11:47

FloofBunny · 02/03/2026 11:33

Wrong, it borders 3.

Cornwall is a separate country in all but name. 🤭

Show quote history

I am hanging my head in shame. Kernow forever !!!!

madaboutpurple · 02/03/2026 11:48

Simon Caldwell has just been on this morning and it seems doubtful that flights will be in place for the next few weeks. You will be safer to stay put.

SerendipityJane · 02/03/2026 11:48

Cardomomle · 02/03/2026 11:39

4 -Yorkshire 💪

Edited
Show quote history

Litrally dies of shame.

Jellycatspyjamas · 02/03/2026 12:57

Jerys · 01/03/2026 20:02

To them it's not normal and not okay. That's their country and visitors need to respect their law.

I'll give another example. The GCC allow polygamy but the UK doesn't.

Show quote history

I doubt very much they permit women to have multiple husbands. But you don’t mean that, you mean men can do as they please - unless they are gay.

I couldn’t champion a country that decides a normal human expression of consensual sexuality is abnormal. And you still compared homosexuality to paedophilia.

SillyBry · 02/03/2026 13:12

I spent a lot of my childhood flip flopping between home and the UAE as my dad worked out there pretty much all of my life.

People are sold the dream of tax free earnings (sure, pop home for x number of days a year to keep your dr's appts etc...) but honestly, you need to research it fully.

Yes, it's a very safe place to be - as a young teenager, I would often walk from the apartments to the shops without my parents (in Abu Dhabi, not Dubai tbf). Everyone is very friendly. But so much of it is surface deep - drive a mile in the wrong direction and you will find undeniable poverty.
Even in the early 2000s, we used to chuckle at the "Jumeirah Jane's" with their arms rammed full of gold jewellery sat around the pool whilst a nanny watched their kids and their husbands worked. But the flip side of that, is the poverty
I personally couldn't cope with. And how paper thin that level of wealth is... everything is great in the UAE, until it isn't...
as an expat/non Emirati, you are welcome to live the high life until you are no use... your home, kid's schooling etc is all linked to your employment. Dad used to tell us horror stories of how people would just leave their car at the airport and get a flight home as they had nothing left.

My concern is that the UAE hasn't really had any access to gas/oil for some time, so they have really sold their morals down the stream to cash in on the tourist/expat dollar. So much of it stems from how it is the good life. And like you said, you hadn't even considered it was in a dangerous area... that's how they have sold the dream! But, the damage of these attacks will effect the tourist/expat dollar for many years to come I think.

It's hard as I wouldn't be considering a move there for my family anyway, but if I were, I would absolutely be putting it on hold for 6 months to see what happens.

SillyBry · 02/03/2026 13:16

OldForANewMum · 01/03/2026 16:56

OP, I've read your original post, all your subsequent posts and a good selection of the replies. First, in the current situation it is literally impossible to tell what will happen in 4 weeks, as of today. You're going to have to live with the uncertainty for at least a few days, possibly for weeks or months. As others have said, your OH needs to be in very close contact with his bosses in the UK and with those already out in UAE and keep up with events as the position emerges.

However, as with some other posters, I am horrified but not surprised as your near- total lack of knowledge about the reality of the UAE, and its proximity to Iran is not the biggest issue. For context, I worked for a particular global company for 5 years with a prominent presence in UAE and for a 6 month period I spent 10 days a month working there. That was pre-Covid - lockdown then hit and I spent the rest of my time at the company working remotely with the same colleagues in Dubai. I have travelled a lot both for work and leisure, and never bothered to go to Dubai on my own dime for most of the reasons others have stated, however I was quite glad to go there for work as it was interesting. It was also, crucially, broadly winter when I was spending time there (October to February) which is a good time to be out of the UK for 10 days a month in sunshine.

So a few random things I strongly urge you to think about, before you go - regardless of what happens with Iran:

  • The climate is almost unliveable for most Brits, no matter what they say. By April it is over 40 celsius most days and it isn't desert heat, it's humid. You go from air conditioned building to air conditioned vehicle to air conditioned building and that's the only way to survive. That alone would probably stop me moving there (and I've lived in SE Asia). I have colleagues and friends who grew up there and still find the climate almost unliveable, and that has worsened in recent years with climate change
  • I assume you're female. On a day to day basis, it's perfectly possible to live an apparently 'normal' Western-style life in Dubai as a woman, and never come into any tricky situations. But you are very much reliant on luck as you simply do not have the same human rights you have at home. In Dubai, everything is fine... until it isn't. My husband (note: husband - we're married) came out to visit me on one trip. I didn't change my name on marriage and so when he came out I got him to bring a copy of our marriage certificate with him. It's not common in tourist hotels but it's perfectly credible we might have had to prove our marriage or be breaking the law. I really mean this - look into your right, decide if you're comfortable living like that medium term. Have a serious think about how much you trust your OH, too
  • Visa, work, financial and legal matters - go and find expat forums and hang out on them to understand the position on all sorts of things. Be extremely careful of any financial entanglements when you're out there. It's very easy to come a-cropper legally in Dubai if you do things the wrong way.
  • It might seem like the money is good but remember there are almost zero public services (unless you are Emirati, which you aren't). You will pay for everything. Factor that in.
  • Again for context, I lived in a different, SE Asian majority Muslim country and would do so again. Religion is not an issue, culture is. I am an adventurous traveller and would never choose to live and work in Dubai (I was offered more than one job when I was working out there and I politely declined). Each to their own, but make sure you're making knowledgeable, informed, active choices about what you're doing.
  • Ethics - as others have said, there are some serious ethical issues underpinning Dubai's society.
  • Through work, I have friends in Dubai, some of whom are British born and brought up, and some of whom grew up in Dubai (none are Emirati though - you can be born and live your whole life in Dubai and never gain citizenship or any real rights under the law). They all live a very good life out there and they are there for reasons. But I don't think any of them would disagree with the down sides.

I think you need to treat this as a wake-up call to do the research you should've done previously. Nobody has a crystal ball so I may well be proved wrong within days or weeks, but I suspect the situation is going to blow over relatively quickly as Trump doesn't have the political capital at home to wage war for long in the Middle East. What Netanyahu does is anyone's guess but Iran is weakened and my guess is things will calm down, at least outside of Iran's borders, pretty quickly. If that is the case, great. But do your research whilst you have the chance. I have little doubt that whatever you OH has agreed to, in the current situation at minimum he will have an easy 'out' from his employer if you change your minds about going. You might find that even if the current situation calms down, you might want that.

I wish you well, whatever you decide. But please - research properly and make an active and informed decision.

This is exactly my experience. You have summed it up so well!

pouletvous · 02/03/2026 13:53

I wouldn’t want to live there. Not even before the strikes

Jerys · 02/03/2026 13:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

flashgordon87 · 02/03/2026 13:58

I was speaking with a friend about Dubai a few weeks ago and she asked if I would ever consider moving there. We were talking about emigrating in general and got on to Dubai and how popular it has become. Anyway, my response was - no way, it's too close to Iran for my liking. Fast forward 2 weeks............
I just could not live in a country in such a volatile region of the world. There will never be peace in the Middle East - wars & conflict have been ongoing in that region all my life and no amount of luxury, tax breaks, missile defence systems or sunshine would convince me other wise.
Do you have children OP? Are you planning on having children? If the answer is yes to either question, after this weekends events, I would seriously be reconsidering. Your friends loved their lifestyle - this was before Iran decided to start launching missiles over their heads.

AllJoyAndNoFun · 02/03/2026 14:25

My concern is that the UAE hasn't really had any access to gas/oil for some time, so they have really sold their morals down the stream to cash in on the tourist/expat dollar.

This is just wrong. Abu Dhabi has loads of oil and a really low cost of production (one of the lowest globally). Dubai doesn't have oil but never has, hence the decision to base its economy on other industries like international finance, which it has done with some success.

Loullybelle1 · 02/03/2026 17:03

I can't imagine why anyone would want to live there, particularly at the moment, when it's in a war zone. Did you not know where Dubai was??

ladydoe · 02/03/2026 17:50

I can’t understand why anyone would even want to live there, forget having any rights out there as a woman

RosyDaysAhead · 02/03/2026 17:53

I wouldn’t be going. You haven’t left yet and I think it would be reasonable to reverse any plans you had to go until things are safer

Imasurvivour · 02/03/2026 17:58

You really want to go to a country that is so deep with slavery for ‘a nice lifestyle’? Shame on you!

NotThisAgain1987 · 02/03/2026 18:10

WeirdyBeardyMarrowBabyLady · 01/03/2026 15:54

YABU to be four weeks for moving to a country you know almost nothing about. How didn’t you know where it was?!

I can 100% believe someone moving to Dubai didn't know it was close to Iran, I'd bet a fair amount of them can't even identify Dubai on a map. You either have to be completely morally bankrupt or very ignorant to move to a place built on slave labour and exploitation in the modern day.

NotThisAgain1987 · 02/03/2026 18:12

flashgordon87 · 02/03/2026 13:58

I was speaking with a friend about Dubai a few weeks ago and she asked if I would ever consider moving there. We were talking about emigrating in general and got on to Dubai and how popular it has become. Anyway, my response was - no way, it's too close to Iran for my liking. Fast forward 2 weeks............
I just could not live in a country in such a volatile region of the world. There will never be peace in the Middle East - wars & conflict have been ongoing in that region all my life and no amount of luxury, tax breaks, missile defence systems or sunshine would convince me other wise.
Do you have children OP? Are you planning on having children? If the answer is yes to either question, after this weekends events, I would seriously be reconsidering. Your friends loved their lifestyle - this was before Iran decided to start launching missiles over their heads.

Iran and the USA and Israel it isn't a one way situation

NellieJean · 02/03/2026 18:13

I was thinking of emigrating to Australia but at the last minute I found out it was literally on the other side of the world. I mean who knew.

Bloozie · 02/03/2026 18:21

I can't believe it didn't enter your head at any point during the decision making process that you were considering moving to such a powder keg region. That you had no idea it was so close to Iran. Have you ever looked into Dubai's human rights profile? The slaves that built the compounds you and your husband were planning to move to. Have you looked into women's rights? On paper, women can vote, drive, own property, work, and get an education – in practice, some of these require approval from their male guardian. Your male guardian can withhold your passport. Domestic violence is legal and there's no such thing as spousal rape. There is a legal age of consent - but in practice, a girl can be married off as soon as her period starts if her guardian gives permission.

Ex-pats hide themselves away from a lot of it by living in gated compounds (built by slaves) that offer a Western-style environment. It's a dirty, dirty place.

Dubai and parts of the Middle East haven't been 'glamourised' so 'everyone' wants to move there. Just the hard of thinking/wilfully ignorant. I wouldn't even consider going there on holiday.

Sorry if that sounds harsh but I feel like you need a bit of a reality check. Starting with, next time you commit to moving somewhere, at least look on a bloody map.

angela1952 · 02/03/2026 18:23

HandfulOfMoths · 01/03/2026 15:47

It’s hard to be objective because I’d hate to live there anyway. What I would say is the situation is not going to be resolved quickly. The whole region is destabilised. YABU to not have known what countries surround where you are emigrating TBH.

My DH worked in the middle east for many years but we decided early on that he'd just visit to work (for two weeks up to three or four months) rather than move the family there to live. I can't understand why people would chose to move to live in most of the countries in the area at any time, but particulary not in the current political climate.

wellstopdoingitthen · 02/03/2026 18:23

LadyMacbethWasFierce · 01/03/2026 16:01

The only 2 aspects of your post that are unreasonable are (i) the fact that you are only starting to question things (rather than ruling it out entirely) and (ii) the fact you did not realise how close to Iran it was. I totally understand that geography is not everyone’s strength, but surely if you are considering relocating to a different country you would educate yourself about where in the world it is?

I am not saying this to be unkind. But I do think it’s so important that people (and I am really focussing on women here) are not passive observers in their own lives. Moving abroad is a big thing. Even more so if you have children who are dependent upon you for their safety and security. It’s so vital to take ownership of your decisions and that can only happen through being fully informed.

In answer to your primary question - in my view the only reasonable thing to do is to cancel the move.

This
I have a friend who moved there last year with her husband and two young daughters; her husband has a new job there. They are devout Christians and they were struggling with the setup there. I think they are deeply regretting the decision to move (although it’s only a 2 year contract). She messaged me over the weekend saying that they were literally paying the price for being wooed by an attractive pay packet and sunshine.

It has never appealed to me for all sorts of reasons that have already been expressed here.

chugalugme · 02/03/2026 18:24

Feels to me that there are a lot of people posting on here who don't actually know very much about Dubai, or the UAE. I am here at the moment. The sounds of missiles being intercepted is scary, but the country has been very well protected, and life is relatively calm. Some of the messages on this chat have been more hysterical than what I have witnessed in the last 3 days. I think it is easy to conflate the level of drama at the centre of the dispute i.e. Iran/Israel, with the more peripheral drama. Of course I am not saying moving here should be without question, but I don't think we need the moral posturing and pot stirring on this chat. There is a very normal life to be had here. It isn't all about sitting by the pool and glamour.

TerracottaWorrier · 02/03/2026 18:24

A lot of very snotty people on this thread acting like they've all executed several successful international relocations. Going on holiday isn't the same thing, smuggers.