Abortion

[sadlyd222]

the tablets are here to do medical abortion
i don’t want to one bit but but got to.

please please be kind and don’t put me down. Life happens. None of us are perfect are we.

I’ve already got a 1 year old with the same man as this baby. He’s horrible to me. My injection had just ran out. I hardly sleep with him no more it was just a silly accident didn’t realise injection due. Anyway it’s happened now.

He’s very abusive. Name calls. Threats. Almost weekly/daily. Verbal abuse. Financial abuse. He’s horrible. He’s hit me once and doesn’t like to mention it.he has his own house thank god.

ive rang women’s aid they are supporting me. I’ve logged with police. I’ve got a family support worker and I’m band 1 with the council to move for safety. (He knows none of this)

im a shell of a person. I don’t know who I am anymore. I love him but I love me more and our son and I’m no good for our son if I stay living in the abuse.
he calls me fat, ugly, slag, shit in bed, always tells me I’m a loser. When baby was a few months old he told me to get off my arse and get back to work when I was doing all night feeds and exclusive breast feeding. He took the newborn joy away. Anytime I shared a bed with him he told me I’m like a snoring wallruss.
I ended up recording my whole nights sleep. I never snores. But he did. A lot.
if I buy our son some nice shoes when I’ve got money he tells me they are shit and I’m ruining his life because they were not walking shoes from Clark’s. This is just silly little examples of the rediculous minor childish stuff I have to endure with this 48 year old child.
im honestly exauhsted by him.
he has our son on a Sunday and im fair, he cares for him well feeds him well gives him loads of love and son comes back happy etc but uses him to control me also

he’s told me to clearly “get rid of that fucking baby”

I’m sad. But I can’t tie myself to him any longer.

I applied for a new job I was so excited I got it. He offered I’m I help for baby sitting & said yeah good luck you won’t last 2 weeks.
im just living a horrible sad sad life.
I’ve cried to doctors the lot. I’ve shouted loud to everyone finally. The help is minimal but I’ve spoke up.

silent treatment is normal to me now and he likes to tell me I’m not sane and I’m mentally unwell when I answer back and tells me I need to be sectioned.

I know I’m fully mentally well to know he’s a ba*tard

sorry to rant!
I don’t have a good mum to go and talk to or hold me up or any family. So come here for strong women:(
please tell me I’m going right thing with abortion and will I be ok???

thankyou xxxx

It sounds like a very complicated and unsafe situation to bring another child into and I would do the same thing in your shoes. It will give you the best chance to break free and move on from this relationship and give you and your existing child a good life and future happiness. Be kind to yourself and access post termination counselling, available free through BPAS.

You will be fine. Sorry you are in this situation but I raised my DD16 on my own and you can do this! You can get away from this useless man, you can give your DC the life they need but honestly it’s lot easier with just one. You are doing the right thing! You need to start your new life.

I think you are doing the best possible thing for yourself and your child. Please carry on working with Women's Aid. You're going to need time to rebuild your physical and mental health and your self esteem. Really well done on getting a job - now you know you can do it, you can build on that. Focus on getting yourself financially stable and emotionally well. Build a small loving family unit with your child. You've done the hardest bit by reaching out for help

You clearly have a doubt in your mind hence the thread.

Is there a charity or any professional you can speak to?

Sometimes threads like this leave the OP even more confused than before they started.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do OP 💐