i can’t speak to anyone I know as I am unbelievably embarrassed and ashamed. I found out I was pregnant just after Christmas. I wanted to keep the baby, my partner did not. We already have 2 amazing children. He kept going on and on about getting an abortion and eventually I gave in. I had the abortion 3 weeks ago and it’s honestly the worst mistake of my life. I cry all the time and honestly feel like a disgusting person.
I went through the whole thing alone. It was traumatising! I was 9w 6days when I took the medication. Me and my partner had a falling out around the time of the abortion, he stayed with family and if I’m honest couldn’t have cared less.
my partner came back home around a week later, all was fine at this point, we had tea, watched some tv and went to bed. I was awoken by my phone repeatedly ringing early in the morning and also received a message. I opened the message to find out he had in fact been having an affair and his mistress was pregnant! Turns out she is infant a week further than I would have been. I feel like I’ve been blackmailed into having an abortion to keep his dirty secret from coming out and having to explain to his family that he had 2 children born a week apart as she was point blank refusing to have an abortion.
I was already severely struggling with having an abortion before this all come out. Now I feel like I’m drowning! I’m disgust with myself for aborting my child to keep there affair child a secret, so they can come up with some bullshit story and make it look like it was a one night stand when in fact they have been having an affair for a long time! And I’ve done it without knowing a thing! Watching this all unfold, knowing she is pregnant and her due date being basically the same as mine would have been is honestly eating me alive. The worst part is, the same day I attended the clinic for the abortion, was the same day she was having her first scan! It’s like she’s waited until she knew I had done it to then tell me!
this girl after everything she has done still messages me asking where he is, like she’s the girlfriend and I’m the mistress! as he has apparently cut all contact with her. I honestly can’t get my head around it. He then messages me telling me its my fault he’s done this and I was “pushing him away” ( unbelievable I know) then in another breath asking me to take him back and we will get through it. Honestly I am speechless. Two clowns’s one circus! I actually can’t believe I have to co parent with this disgusting animal.
I don’t really know what I was expecting writing this but I feel like I’m going insane inside my own brain, having to keep it all in!