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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Men just causing wars

56 replies

MsTigs · 28/02/2026 19:37

Is there a war they didn’t cause?

OP posts:
missmollygreen · 28/02/2026 20:42

Monsterslam · 28/02/2026 20:23

All those women have been in male dominated societies though. If women had the majority of powerful positions rather than the minority or token leader roles then the whole blueprint of what good leadership and strategic action looks like might be drastically different.

Perhaps. But would it actually be better? Or would power corrupt these women, just like it corrupts the men?

DdraigGoch · 28/02/2026 20:45

Work9to5 · 28/02/2026 19:38

The Falklands war....

Pretty sure that Leopoldo Galtieri was a man.

lljkk · 28/02/2026 20:48

People with power start wars.
When women get power they may well start a war.

DdraigGoch · 28/02/2026 20:52

Sparklespecs · 28/02/2026 19:41

Golda Meir in 1973.

Indira Ghandi in 1971.

Elizabeth I was actively involved in military campaigns and imperial expansion.

Not a war as such, but Mary I executed (horribly) a large number of Protestants.

Margaret Thatcher in 1982.

None of Golda Meir, Indira Ghandi or Margaret Thatcher's sides fired the first shots in each conflict though.

Elizabeth I did (unsuccessfully) attempt to retake Calais from the French, that's true.

beeautifullif3 · 28/02/2026 20:53

Well this is definitely the most stupid post on here today so well done op 👏

Monsterslam · 28/02/2026 21:01

missmollygreen · 28/02/2026 20:42

Perhaps. But would it actually be better? Or would power corrupt these women, just like it corrupts the men?

Maybe we can castrate the men and see if testosterone is the problem

I would happily start with Trump.

Sparklespecs · 28/02/2026 22:36

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 28/02/2026 20:29

Ada Lovelace
Marie Curie

To name just two. Women have invented hundreds of things. They just don’t get the credit men get.

And speaking as an ex art teacher, plenty of women created phenomenal art. Again they were never credited or were just ignored

https://news.artnet.com/art-world/5-women-artists-renaissance-2388731

Women have always invented and painted. They’ve just been ignored. Women haven’t always started wars.

That’s the context.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/02/2026 22:40

I mean the majority of wars have been caused by men.

Some have of course been caused or joined, or partially caused by women.

But then again, those women were working in a patriarchal system and a system that values aggression and confrontation. So probably the thing is to change the way the world works in a much more wholesale way than just swapping male for female leaders.

And of course there are some really good men leaders and some really good women leaders within the current system. We just need a massive overhaul in the way the whole of humanity approaches things to see the people who real do want the best for everyone at the top. People who want to lead in order to benefit their country rather than just to wave their dick (real or metaphorical!) about.

gototogo · 28/02/2026 22:43

@BlueJuniper94not do much now, women are fully part of the military including commanding positions, my dd has dozens of men under her

StripedVase · 28/02/2026 22:46

It's not really that simple, is it, if the status quo is oppressive? There are plenty of women in Iran who would wage their own war on the regime there if they possessed the power...

Valeyard15 · 28/02/2026 22:52

Heyhelga · 28/02/2026 20:20

Politics and religion is ultimately what causes the majority of wars.

Sorry, but no - all wars are about land. Politics and religion and just excuses.

GaIadriel · 28/02/2026 23:42

lljkk · 28/02/2026 20:48

People with power start wars.
When women get power they may well start a war.

Very possibly. It certainly seems that more women subscribe to extreme wokeism/political views. These are the types of things that can lead to extreme solutions being seen as 'justifiable' and purges of 'undesirable' demographics being enacted. Certainly we see a lot more violent protesting from antifa and and the hard left. I wouldn't want these people in power.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 28/02/2026 23:56

GaIadriel · 28/02/2026 23:42

Very possibly. It certainly seems that more women subscribe to extreme wokeism/political views. These are the types of things that can lead to extreme solutions being seen as 'justifiable' and purges of 'undesirable' demographics being enacted. Certainly we see a lot more violent protesting from antifa and and the hard left. I wouldn't want these people in power.

😂😂

I see Tommy Robonson’s mob attacking and injuring people. I see nothing from the far left.

Reform is followed by mainly men. Thats the most extreme party in this country. Britain First and the Raise the Flag dickheads are nearly all men.

GaIadriel · 01/03/2026 01:49

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 28/02/2026 23:56

😂😂

I see Tommy Robonson’s mob attacking and injuring people. I see nothing from the far left.

Reform is followed by mainly men. Thats the most extreme party in this country. Britain First and the Raise the Flag dickheads are nearly all men.

Edited

Well, we had the BLM supporters who were luring out policemen with bogus phone calls and shooting them. Even the suffragettes were trying to set fire to packed theatres/churches and maiming innocent postal workers with their letter bombs. I think at least four people died as a result of their actions.

And of course the pièce de résistance of the far left was communism which is estimated to have killed around 10x more people than the Nazis did.

History has proven that the far left are much more dangerous than the far right when given absolute power. You must've heard of the book Animal Farm surely?

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 01/03/2026 04:19

GaIadriel · 01/03/2026 01:49

Well, we had the BLM supporters who were luring out policemen with bogus phone calls and shooting them. Even the suffragettes were trying to set fire to packed theatres/churches and maiming innocent postal workers with their letter bombs. I think at least four people died as a result of their actions.

And of course the pièce de résistance of the far left was communism which is estimated to have killed around 10x more people than the Nazis did.

History has proven that the far left are much more dangerous than the far right when given absolute power. You must've heard of the book Animal Farm surely?

Jesus wept! The Suffragettes were cross party. They fought for the likes of you to cast your right wing vote.

Animal Farm😁what sort of comparison is that? It’s a work of fiction for fucks sake.

As for more deaths. Communism was much more widespread. So hardly like for like.

Hilarious post. Animal Farm and The Suffragettes😂😂😂😂😂

XDownwiththissortofthingX · 01/03/2026 04:35

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 01/03/2026 04:19

Jesus wept! The Suffragettes were cross party. They fought for the likes of you to cast your right wing vote.

Animal Farm😁what sort of comparison is that? It’s a work of fiction for fucks sake.

As for more deaths. Communism was much more widespread. So hardly like for like.

Hilarious post. Animal Farm and The Suffragettes😂😂😂😂😂

It's a bit crass to talk about it, but it's an interesting thought experiment to imagine what the Nazis final death-count would have been if they had been left to run riot for 70'odd years like the Soviet "communists". Then there are the other fascistic governments of the 20th century to take into account. The Japanese weren't exactly benign overlords in China and Korea, then you have the central European nazi puppets happily marching their own populations off to the death camps.

Also worth remembering that 20-25 million or so of the "left" being decried here themselves died putting an end to far-right atrocity, and that's just the Soviets, it doesn't included untold numbers of Chinese who died fighting the Japanese invaders.

You are correct though. Totally different timescales involved, both utterly repugnant in their own ways, so it's a bit bizarre to try and turn it into a "who is worse" Top Trumps because there is nothing to suggest that if the other "side" had prevailed fewer people would have ultimately died. IMO the reality would have been an order of magnitude worse, because as much as the Soviets mistreated the various peoples they incorporated, they never had designs on total global domination and subjugation in the same way the Fascists did. Not quite so hell-bent on racial purity and ethnic genocide either.

History has proven that the far left are much more dangerous than the far right when given absolute power

I'd say this is highly contentious and debateable, because far-right regimes tend to flame-out far more quickly than the far left on the whole, yet they still put up pretty astonishing death-counts despite being comparatively short-lived.

Xnz2022 · 01/03/2026 05:45

Wars are started by leaders..
Most leaders have been male..
So most wars are started by men..

However, when the discrepancy is accounted for, female leaders are no less like to start wars or engage in them than male leaders.

Why? Patriarchy? Probably more likely that while there are average differences between men and women as a population that probably do mean that women are less aggressive, impulsive, violent etc. only the tiny extreme minority of people have the traits that push them towards and enable them to become powerful leaders. You need an unusual amount of confidence, aggression, ability, self belief, brutal and stubbornness to rise up to the top, and it basically acts like a filtering mechanism. As a result by the time you get to that point, male or female, you are not really representing the average anymore, but are likely part of a very tiny minority that possesses those traits and abilities. Male or female averages and overall differences then makes nodifference, because we are talking about an unrepresentative 0.0001% of men or women that posses the specific and unusual combinations required to obtain power.

WhenWillItBeSpringAgain · 01/03/2026 06:14

Israel just causing wars.

araiwa · 01/03/2026 06:30

School gates

Kimura · 01/03/2026 06:42

It's obviously a lot more nuanced than that. In today's world, it's rarely -+ if ever - a case of one man just 'deciding' to go to war. Politicians, military, lawyers etc all advise, and a female leader would need to act off that same advice.

Untill society gets to a place where there are just as many women as men in these roles, there's no frame of reference to support the idea that we'd do things any differently.

Nourishinghandcream · 01/03/2026 06:53

@PinkCatCushion
"It would be so much better if we just put the leaders, who want to go to war, into an arena and they fight each other to death."

It's been done.
Frankie Goes To Hollywood in the video for Two Tribes (my favourite ever track), check it out.
Very funny but in a way, so real with all the posturing. Made at a time when the Cold War was still in real danger of turning "hot".

I remember seeing it at the time (heaven knows where as I am sure it was not suitable for TOTP?) and that image of the dusty arena, the leaders fighting each other, the blood etc stuck with me.
When I rediscovered the video many years later, it was the realisation that I hadn't imagined it after all.

Coffeeandbooks88 · 01/03/2026 07:13

GaIadriel · 28/02/2026 19:54

I thought female rulers were more likely to start wars?

There was a study where they looked at about 400 years of European history and queens were something like 30-40% more likely to start a war than kings. Probs helped that they weren't expected to lead the army into battle like many kings did!

That was probably because men were trying to take their crown and country from them!

Sausagenbacon · 01/03/2026 08:49

I see Tommy Robonson’s mob attacking and injuring people. I see nothing from the far left.
How about that policewoman attacked with a sledgehammer?

MrThorpeHazell · 01/03/2026 08:56

MsTigs · 28/02/2026 19:43

Oh dear, embarrassing lack of knowledge (yours) ..

No it's an accurate assessment of the situation. Don't believe propaganda. Learn the facts.

MrThorpeHazell · 01/03/2026 09:01

beeautifullif3 · 28/02/2026 20:53

Well this is definitely the most stupid post on here today so well done op 👏

First sensible comment on the whole thread.