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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teenage upset

27 replies

hollyolly · 28/02/2026 01:15

I am so upset tonight. I am married 20 years with teenage kids. My husband was married before with no kids. He didn’t tell our children this until a couple of years ago - I don’t really know why not but it was hard for him and it took a lot to open up. I left it to him to decide when was the right time. Tonight my son said to me that his friends think it’s hilarious that his Dad was married before. I was so taken aback that what I would have perceived as family business / important to his Dad was casually out there. My husband is a coach to many of these boys and friends with the fathers of my son’s friends and he wouldn’t have spoken to them about a previous marriage. I am friends with their wives and again it hasn’t come up in all these years as it isn’t relevant to our lives. There is no scandal just two people marrying young and breaking up after a few years. To me growing up family was first and I would not have broadcast family business. Aibu to be upset on my husbands behalf or am I being unreasonable. He doesn’t know yet but I know it is something he would not have wanted.

OP posts:
Pricelessadvice · 28/02/2026 07:03

My father was married before he met my mum. Very young and it didn’t last more than a couple of years.
Why is that weird?

hollyolly · 28/02/2026 07:09

Thanks everyone. Reading back it does sound all secrets and lies but my dh didn’t tell them when they were young and then it became a bigger thing (in his mind). The kids weren’t at all bothered and slag him now and laugh for not telling them sooner. I was upset about my son relaying what wasn’t his business but you are right, it is factual and not that big a deal and I need to let it go. Your responses have been helpful.

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