To think person centred counselling is a waste of time?

[Rattlingbiscuittin]

I started therapy this week after a particularly difficult period in my life.

it is paid through work, so was given sessions with the counsellor they use.

when I got there, I was told it is person centred counselling. This was explained as being where you talk through your own problems and find your own solutions.

I have to say I found this pretty pointless. It involves simply talking about all the awful things that have happened for an hour with no structure. The counsellor just sits and listens and doesn’t seem to ask any insightful questions.

ive been to counselling a few times before. Ive had very helpful ones who really make you question your thought processes. But I find these ones where you just talk to be a complete waste of time.

AIBU to just scrap the whole idea? I don’t want to sit moaning for an hour without being given any strategies or techniques to deal with my issues.

What you've just described does sound quite pointless.

Also very, very cheap for the EAP to provide but probably sounds great to prospective employers who know nothing about suitable modalities for different problems.

Do you happen to know the therapist's qualifications and accreditation if any? It could be a reflection on lack of skill or experience.

A call to Samaritans would probably be about the same but you might get someone listening attentively enough to pose the odd pertinent questions.

It might not be right for you but it worked really well for me so definitely not a waste of time for everyone. If what you specifically want is tools then maybe CBT or another form of therapy would suit you better. Or if it’s particularly about you finding this counsellor not insightful then go back to one of the helpful ones you’ve used or someone similar. It may take more time and research but hope you find what you need.

That sounds more like psychoanalysis.

I did a quick Google and found that person centred counselling is supposed to centre on the relationship between client and therapist. Hard to have a relationship if they don't talk to you!

"However, a person-centred therapist does not only listen but also gives feedback about the client's views and issues, which raises the client's self-awareness. By going through this process, the person-centred therapist helps the client to bring about positive change and fulfilment despite the difficulties they are experiencing."

If you didn't like it, don't go back.

I think it’s lack of experience from the counsellor. She says she yet to qualify but near the end of training.

she is a nice person but feel like I want to complain about it or see if I can get another therapist

You don't seem to have a therapist who meets your needs. Ask to be assigned to someone else. Incidentally I'm wondering where your employer is sourcing their counselling. EAP companies don't take counsellors in training.

Sadly, what you're describing sounds like quite a lot of person centered therapists. It's not really their fault, the training (even BACP accredited courses) can be absolutely terrible. She also might not be great personally, but it could well not be her fault.

It's called a "non directive" approach. And it works for some people who mostly need validation, and doesn't work at all for a large number of other people, who would actually value the therapist giving some supposedly educated insight into their issues.

@WrylyAmused id really appreciate some insight into my issues, and that was what I was led to believe I’d get.

personally this is why i talk to myself, much cheaper and then i can use Ai to refine my ideas

@Rattlingbiscuittin Yes.
I'm sorry you've had that experience.

There are good therapists out there, but many are very poor, and many approaches don't resonate with me and might not with you.

I would suggest having a read about ACT - acceptance and commitment therapy, and about systemic therapy (sometimes called family systems therapy).

Don't confuse that with IFS - internal family systems, which is more about internal parts (also interesting, but I've found it typically less useful for issues).

It's hard to give more recommendations without knowing what your issues are, which is obviously inappropriate to ask, but I would suggest you research different modalities of therapy and see which one sounds like it would be a good fit for you. There are many many different ones out there, with varying degrees of research supporting them, but even if not empirically supported, you might find one that resonates more with you.