To think weddings, baby showers and similar are getting out of hand

[AurielleBaies]

…the expectation to take time off, travel, spend £££££, the hen/stag. The balloon arches. It’s impossible to keep up.

Sort of inspired by a previous post of mine about influencers. Was just doom scrolling and saw a woman jumping out of a cake on her wedding day to do a dance for her husband and everyone was whooping and cheering behind her. Plenty of other OTT stuff I’ve seen in regards to weddings too.

All for having a lovely time, celebrating with friends and family and people having a day to remember but my god it’s all so OTT and expensive.

unfortunately a very good friend of mine and I fell out as she turned into a completely different person whilst planning her wedding. She expected me to spend over 5k (!!!!) on her multiple hens, one being abroad and her wedding when she knew I wasn’t in a good financial position. She followed a lot of influencers who were planning their weddings at the time and I can’t help but think that was where many of her ideas came from.

Yes! So much pressure op. They do birthday collections on my school bus too for girls. Am thinking no end to it. Constant isnt it

I absolutely would not go abroad on a hen do. I can't bear organised dances at weddings. I wouldn't attend a baby shower. I'm a miserable ....

You follow that same crap too though? Big expensive weddings are OTT but it’s been that way for longer than instagram has been around. In real life I’ve been to a few OTT weddings but I’ve never had opinions on other people’s balloon arches or fallen out with other people over them celebrating their lives. The stuff you see doomscrolling isn’t real, it’s staged for entertainment just like tv is. Maybe you’re spending too much time thinking about influencers

oh god same. I couldn’t have a hen party for myself. I don’t want to seem like im
coming across like I’m better than eveyone having big celebrations, but I just cannot think of ANYTHING worse than organised fun. I’d be not able to relax wondering if all my friends were getting on and having a good time.

Birthday collections on the school bus for girls? What do you mean?

Agree with you. We got married down the registry office and went for a nice meal afterwards. Only close family- about 15 people. That was in 2022 so quite recently. I can't help feeling it's become style over substance for some people, I know everyone won't want a tiny wedding like ours, but at some point, it does start to appear like it's more about the wedding than the marriage.

I can’t believe it’s “wedding’s are OTT now” season again already! Must be climate change!

Yep, I know a woman who got married but had serious doubts months before but admitted she wanted "the big day". It didn't end well.

The trouble is everyone thinks they have to have the perfect social media friendly wedding, hen, baby shower....you notice the trend, these are predominantly female activities. It's because women are pressured by social media for these things. Men are increasingly more body shamed, misogynisticly pressured.

I didnt fall out with my friend because I didn’t want to celebrate her life with her! I was genuinely so so very happy for her, I helped her husband plan her engagement. It was the expectation of me to spend over 5k to attend her celebrations, and when I said I couldn’t afford it, I was a bad person and I needed to find the money.

As I said, I can’t help but think that SM had a part to play in her expectations.

I try not to judge others over this stuff but it’s sad that they wouldn’t be doing half of it without social media. Influencers start these mad “trends” then it trickles down

kids don’t give a shit about balloon arches, it’s for the pictures….which are for instagram

?

Tokitty) its work colleagues. Its all over the top now with hens etc. Thank god no invites for weddings ha

I think it’s a case of selective bias. Those who have smaller weddings don’t tend to post them on social media. Big weddings have been around forever.

I’ve been some fantastic big and small weddings. In fact I can’t think of a wedding or hen do I haven’t enjoyed. I really appreciate the effort people go to as we didn’t invite anyone to our wedding!!

Wedding planners and content creators.
Hen dos in this country, followed by one abroad.
Ruinously expensive venues
Baby showers for first, second and subsequent babies.

So many ‘experiences’ that are tacky at best and unnecessary.

I agree.

I blame social media, the americans (of which I am one...sort of, so I'm allowed to say that), and capitalism. People just want to make money, so they push all this shit. People want to prove they have money, so they participate in all this shit for social cachet.

I no longer go to hens or weddings outside immediate family, if they are abroad and therefore very expensive, as unfortunately I just cannot afford it! My sister spent £900 last year attending a hen weekend! A hen weekend?!?!

If I was very well off, sure, no problem, but I am not and I just face up to that fact and say no, I can't come. Have a great time

I’m just waiting for the inevitable “the bigger the wedding the shorter the marriage” post.

Nah, I don't believe any of those tropes.

But I still won't go to weddings which cost me more than our family holiday to attend (we do not even go abroad for holidays due to budget, so like fuck am I going to pay for just me to fly to a hen party). Absolutely not.

I would if I had a lot of money, but I am realistic about money and don't put flights or hotels on credit cards or anything like that.

It’s not even about big weddings necessarily. It’s about how people are expected to fork out SO much money to attend these huge events.

Last wedding I went to I was bridesmaid, had to pay for my own dress, room (I had to stay with the bride the night before), make up, hair, wine on the day. It was bonkers. Her wedding was huge and she seemed happy to spend money on stuff that made her photos look good, but not cover anything that she said I ‘must have’ - like hair and make up on the day. It’s the entitlement!

I think no one has the right to demand anything of anyone, ie expensive parties, Hens, ect...but what they spend or do on their day is their business. If they want to do a leap out of a cake....fair enough. Def not my style but its their day. I think the expectations of what they want others to do for their day is too much. Your friend was very unfair putting you in that position

The actual wedding day I don't think has in most cases. It is hen/stag dos, baby showers and the like.