Days holiday to do nothing...

[ToLTBorNotToLTB]

I'm currently on maternity leave going back to work in 2 weeks. We have 2 under 2 so it's been a bit manic but we chose it.
My "DH" has booked yesterday and today off work so I thought I'd get some neglected jobs around the house done and then have some family time in the afternoon.
"DH" has told me that it's his time to do nothing not look after the babies all day and "go to some park or other"
Things have been distant between us for a while but I think this is the breaking point.
He never showed any signs of being so shit after baby 1 but he pushed for baby 2 saying it would be nice for them to be close in age.
AIBU to leave him?

Someone once said to me never to make any big life decisions in the year after a child is born. I think that applies twice over with 2 under 2.

It sounds like you are both knackered and worn down by it all. I think it's really tough for you, but I imagine he feels it too. You are both probably resentful.

With that preface, yes, he is being selfish. But the key is communication. It sounds like what he feels he needs is a break. Sounds like that is what you need too. But instead of communicating with each other and cooperating he is doing stuff without thinking how it impacts you and you are making assumptions without communicating with him.

Unless this is just the last in a long line of selfish behaviour then yes, I do think YABU to leave him over this.

Agree with

adlitem

also if I had booked a day off with me time in mind (although I’d have said it to dh, he should have said it to you first), I’d have been disappointed if dh had told me all the things we were going to do that day. Saying that you need a break too but I’d say you have weekends for that. Do talk to him though, babies don’t mean you both don’t get a break x

Just to add you should have weekends for that, it should be a tag team at the weekend!

So are you booking Saturday or Sunday “off work”, OP. Your DH isn’t going to get it if you don’t make him live it.

Well now you know you can book yourself some time off for your complete break too

after all - if it’s not real work to look after the kids there is no reason for him not to be looking after them on his time off

He sounds totally stupid, he just had to wait 3 more weeks a then he could have booked his 2 days off while you were at work and the kids at nursery and had his peace.

If he wasn’t rubbish after the first baby but is just distant now I’d insist to him that you both need to work on your relationship more rather than jumping straight to leaving him while you have 2 under 2. It was always going to be an incredibly challenging time in your marriage, babies and toddlers are hard work and don’t leave much room for happy marriage in many cases. He needs to grow up and participate properly, maybe suggest marriage counselling.

I don’t know why you’d assume that both his annual leave days would be for jobs and family time that you’d decided on.
And if I were you I’d just book a couple of days annual leave myself once I’m back at work in a couple of weeks. And I’d spend them doing nothing. I think it’s a legitimate thing for any parent to do.

This wouldn’t bother me in someone who is a good partner and parent. If they weren’t good father or partner then it would.

The jobs I agree on, but the guy booked annual leave in the last 2 weeks of her maternity leave so ifs not that surprising she thought it may be for family time. It’s not like she’s a stay at home mum
and he doesn’t have choices. I agree she should book some time for herself

Just remember when you book your days off for you, they are to remain that.
When he says eell as you are off you can do xyz, it's No, this is my time.

I agree

Most people use annual leave to spend time with their children