Insane rise in home schooling?

[whyohwhy246]

Has anyone else noticed a huge increase in home schooling? Someone I follow in IG has just deregistered their child and I just can’t believe how many families are choosing to do this.

Of course it is sometimes the right choice for the child but it seems that more and more children are being allowed to opt out of formal education.

Teenagers need to learn that life is hard and school will throw challenges at them. How they learn to deal with this impacts how they handle things as an adult. What happens when they enter the work place and they can’t just opt out of the difficult things? Where do they learn that resilience?

I have worked in education for 20 years and whilst I agree that some aspects of the system are broken, I don’t think home schooling is the answer to this.

The social aspect alone is impossible to replicate (walking to school together, having your first crush, a detention, school trips I could go on and on…) but I also don’t see how all of these parents can have the skills to teach their children to GCSE. I also find it so insulting to teachers who spend years learning their craft. It’s not just something you can pick up and do effectively.

Has anyone else noticed this?

I couldn't disagree with you more, and from your OP, it's clear you are NOT well informed regarding home education, heck, you don't even know what it's legally called!

I'm a former teacher, the education system is broken. My children have never attended school. They are the most well-behaved, and social children you'd ever meet. I've been complimented numerous times by various professionals on their exceptional behaviour.

Are you aware that home educated teenagers can indeed learn that life is hard, without the need to attend school? Are you aware that some home educated children are extremely focussed and hard working, and love a good challenge. What makes you think that they would opt out of difficult things in the workplace? Your views are so ignorant.

Why would we want the social aspect of school replicated? It's not comparable to the real world. My children walk to their activities, have had their first crushes. Why the fuck would they need to experience a detention for Christ's sake? I never had a detention in my life!! Whilst my children have never been on a school trip, they go on sports camps, sleepovers with their schooled friends, and are well travelled.

Parents do not need to have the "skills to teach" GCSEs as home educated children usually do self-directed learning. Our jobs as parents are to facilitate learning NOT to teach. Even as a former teacher, I see this as a positive thing. Self-directed learning is a big plus point for when they enter further education such as college or university. Many home educated children do very well at university compared to schooled children due to this.

Why are you so insulted? Are you a teacher yourself? You say you've worked in education for 20yrs, is that as a teacher? Why do you see home education as an insult to teachers? Are you aware that a lot of teachers home educate their children? Because they see what an amazing way of learning it is for their children. They see the broken education system, and don't want to put their own children through it.

Your post is just terrible and it only shows you up for the lack of research and knowledge you have on the subject matter, pretty embarrassing really considering you work in education.

Do better.

i could have written your post myself, except I did get a couple of GCSEs and did bookkeeping NVQ’s then did the professional accountancy qualifications. I absolutely hated every single minute of school, I was bullied, disengaged and didn’t learn anything.

My youngest DD hated school too and is high-functioning neurodiverse (dyslexia, ADHD and ASD). She had to homeschool herself with an online course during Covid and taught herself A level Maths and Further Maths In hindsight, her mental health would have been far better if she were homeschooled as the whole of her secondary school journey was horrific. Homeschooling was not possible financially and I didn’t have the skills, patience or ability to teach her (her maths ability far outstrips mine!). At school she was constantly in detentions for forgetting equipment and homework and was often put down by the teachers for having slow processing and not being able to understand the emotional side of English or memorise languages. I had to force her in to school a lot of the time, which was horrific for both of us.

She’s now in her Master’s year at Oxbridge and tells me that although it’s high pressure, it’s easier than school as she can work to her own schedule and doesn’t have to try tick the mainstream education boxes. She works in the holidays and enjoys being with other people. Mainstream education just didn’t suit her - she has a lot of emotional scars from her time at school. I regret not making education less traumatic for her.

Benefits?

Well if schools/LA’s offered more support for kids that struggle instead of just sending people to court and throwing fines at them then maybe there wouldn’t be as many. I know for us I battled to keep my son in school despite his mental health struggles and the only thanks I got was a fine. When the letter telling me they were sending me to court for a second time came through I pulled him out as I literally had no other choice

You and your ND children were very lucky to have such a supportive school.

Brilliant … what a great education 🙄

Yeah because state secondaries are SO much better with kids bringing knives in and watching porn on their phones at break and throwing chairs across classrooms.

We were told we weren’t welcome at my son’s school. He had a medical issue which meant he was in almost constant pain. His attendance dropped to 80% because he was refusing to go into school when they wouldn’t let him have medication during school hours.
He would be sat in class with tears streaming down his face in so much pain and they wouldn’t let him get up to take the tablets from reception obviously cause you couldn’t walk around with them
I asked for a meeting. We had two meetings where we were told it was their way or the highway otherwise I was to de register.
So we did. I wish I’d fought them but I didn’t actually realise that was an option and his well-being was more important. He was talking about jumping in front of a train when he was in so much pain.

Oh, you're of the 'bullying is good for you' persuasion. Explains a lot

Mine definitely isn't. It's full of adults who know how to behave

And of course you always have the option to leave at any moment with a workplace

I’m on the fence a little, but lean towards homeschooling being problematic in most cases (except severe SEND).

I am ND and was a gifted child. School was awful, I was socially overwhelmed and not given enough academic stretch.

However, if you can get the right settings in place, I think school still works best. Someone said ‘why wouldn’t you want your child to avoid peer pressure, cliques etc’ . These things exist everywhere in life, particularly in the workplace, and having zero exposure isn’t great either. Total avoidance of something you don’t like isn’t helpful.

I work in HR, workplaces have come a long way but in incivility, power dynamics, pressure etc are all alive and well. With the rise of AI, there will be less pressure on employers to provide accomodating workplaces.

I am also quite shocked in the lack of resilience under 25’s have compared to the generation before then. Individuals aside, they seem wholly disinterested in getting stuck in, having a crack, rolling with the punches. I don’t want to go back to the bad old days of authoritarian conformity at work, but I don’t see being allowed to hide at home doing much to increase resilience.

Children being home educated worries me for a few reasons:

1. They never escape their parents. This can have devastating impact as the Sara case shows, but on a less concerning issues - parents’ views are the predominant view the child sees. This is never good. My parents were caring, loving, high work ethic and politically moderate. However, I learnt so much from various teachers. The importance of charity, the arts, ethical views, as well as from my peers. By learning from multiple people and meeting different people we understand our faults and those of others. It’s how we grow. Two parents or a single parent teaching over multiple years can never achieve that.
2. We learn to navigate life. Whether that’s making sure you remember to bring your homework in, learning to read a bus timetable, remembering your lunch. These are all great life skills and important for next role in life.
3. The really good days are great - the school play, the geography school trip with your friends. The bad days can be terrible - a major fall out with your friend, receiving a detention. But you learn from them (bullying is never a bad day) A slightly mean teacher helps you realise life isn’t always fair! I had some sleepless nights sometimes but I also have that at work and a bit of stress is good for you.
4. Yes a home educated child can meet friends but it’s never at the same intensity as a school educated child will also meet children at clubs and outside of school, so their network is always likely to be larger, and with people they don’t always want to see.
5. Finally, there were days I really didn’t want to go into school and thought I could do it better elsewhere ,but by allowing a child to act on that anxiousness you are going to exasperate it, and there are real risks of people living at home and never going to uni or getting a job and being unfulfilled.

I appreciate lots of parents may disagree with my views - that’s fine but I do think Point 1 is always something that should be very aware of. Your view (as will mine) is likely to be different. We are all unique. It’s good to debate and challenge others and I struggle to see how you can have that in a home educated environment.

I appreciate there are other reasons for home educating but these are my concerns with this trend.

I went to school and I was classed as a good student - I got good grades, didn't mess around in class. I realised a lot later that much of what I learnt was mostly copying, with little understanding. I also suppressed much of who I was. I didn't ask questions or answer too many questions, for fear of being bullied for being "too swotty", so despite the good marks, I never actually pushed myself. I did what was needed to get the good marks and nothing more. I took the easy options. I hated science at school because it was so boring. I loathed PE - who wouldn't after being forced to play hockey outside in January? My passionate love of reading stopped when I had to analyse books and poems from year 9 upwards.
I was bulled at school and by my stepfather, so I learnt to hide. I didn't wear bright clothes, or dye my hair, or do anything that seemed "not normal". These things stay with you a long time. I drank alcohol in social situations from my mid-teens until my early 30s, to reduce my anxiety. I still worry now when I dye my hair a boring brown to cover up my greys that someone will notice and make spiteful comments.
I never intended to homeschool my children. A chance encounter with a woman who had homeschooled, made me look at things differently. After my own experiences, I spend a lot of time trying to foster good mental health habits. My children know who they are and what they like, they don't hide who they are just to fit in. They understand what they're taught, rather than just repeating it. The research I do before teaching them, means I understand it too - finally! I love science now - my friends even think of me as the science nerd. I wish it had been taught differently at my school so I could have loved it from an earlier age. My love of reading has returned. I exercise now, but not because I'm sporty or because it's Tuesday morning, but because I enjoy it and it's good for me. I'm a slow runner, an average cyclist, an adequate swimmer, and I can lift a few weights.

You're right - I can't teach everything, but as I frequently tell my children, nobody knows everything. I know what I can teach and I use online resources or classes to fill in my gaps. I studied for my Masters degree online, so I have no problem with the use of technology for studying - it's a tool.
My teen's friends often have so much to do they don't have time to attend their extra curricular activities. Children and teens have enough to deal with growing up and puberty, finding out who they are etc. without having 2 or 3 hours of homework every night.
Sorry for the long essay!

But you are assuming school is the only way to learn those things. It really isnt. My children are in school but I am also considering homeschooling for secondary. Neurodivergence and high intelligence but difficulties coping with the school environment are the reason. My kids do loads of clubs and have a wide array of opportunities to learn skills other than through school. We have the funds for online courses and the intelligence for teaching. I do understand though that there are lots of children being inadequately home schooled

They do not need to go school at all.
I see school as child care tbh
I went to primary school, loved it.
Then we moved abroad for many years, when I returned, I did an OU course, used that to get into a brick University.
I did my undergraduate, did my masters, both in education. I will do a PGCE in further education soon.
I have also been home educating my daughter for the last couple of years. She hated high school so much, she left end of year 8, so I've been teaching her and organising tuition for her, for years 9, 10, and now year 11.
She's doing 7 GCSEs and she wants to go College in September.
She's highly motivated, and is on target to get 6, 7 and 8s.
Home education allows you to focus on what's important.
My daughter has become a confident girl since she left high school. She volunteers at the local community centre. She's just received her NI number and is looking for a job. She knows how to live life, she can pay bills, she picks up her little brother from nursery, she's not a tired teenager.
She roller blades, goes to the gym and does Taekwondo.
We travel a few times a year.
i can't imagine how her life would've been if i forced her to stay in high school,
she was becoming a withdrawn child, with severe anxiety. And now she can do public speaking!
I think she's ready for any workplace.
High school is torture for many kids.
If your child thrives in education, great, but if they don't, there's more than way of living life.

Whilst your first point is a valid concern in some truly heartbreaking cases, OP's concerns aren't rooted in safeguarding. They're because she doesn't think no parents can give children as good an education as a school.

And her disappointment that children won't be bullied as a rite of passage. Neither will they ever interact with another living soul to be able to have that all-important crush.

I am a senior leader in a school with responsibility for safeguarding. I am not anti-home education at all (quite a few of my colleagues are) and I probably would have ended up going down that road with my Autistic DD had we not been able to afford to send her to a small, nurturing independent school for secondary.
I completely accept that for some children with SEND who struggle the with the mainstream school environment but don't meet the criteria for specialist, Home Education will be the right choice. It's incredibly sad and frustrating that for some families they feel they have no choice at all and are effectively forced to HE. No one should be forced to make that decision and children shouldn't have to be at crisis point to get support.
What concerns me is the number of parents who pull their children out of school "to home educate" after schools raise concerns about possible abuse and neglect. From talking to colleagues in other schools this does seem to be becoming more common. People will say that "surely if that's the case they will be on the radar of social services anyway", but that's not the reality. Children's Services are so overstretched, unless they have clear evidence of serious child protection concerns they can't compell parents to engage with them, and it's difficult to obtain evidence when children are largely unseen. I have no doubt that the majority of parents HE for all the right reasons, but for the few who do have sinister motives the current lack of monitoring of HE children plays right into their hands.

Schools are more likely to punish you for fighting back than do anything about bullies. I'm not sure anyone wants to take lessons in social skills from someone whose basis for friendship is bullying + punch in the face but each to their own I guess

Regarding point one. Sara was failed by the authorities, the courts, and of course her parents/step parent. The abuse she suffered was known about by authorities before she was removed from school. She was let down by the authorities, end of.

Statistically, schooled children are more likely to be suffering abuse and neglect at home, yet home educated families are statistically more likely to be reported to the authorities (due to the judgement we unfairly receive from the public).

My friend home schooled until she was forced by court order initiated by her ex to re register both children were way ahead of everyone else they absolutely flourished being home schooled

That’s by far the minority.

So my two penneth is that the 2 people I know that have de registered and began “home schooling” are…A a little boy that was naughty at school,and rightly being told off for it, he’s cheeky, rude and thinks he’s allowed to talk over adults if he thinks his opinion is more important than whatever the adult/other child/teacher is saying. He’s sneaky and sly and will hurt other kids then deny it and will not do as he’s asked when a trusted adult is asked to look after him so we won’t anymore as he is a nightmare…his parents think the sun shines out of his arse and he’s SO much worse since he left school. Kid stays in pyjamas until late lunchtime most days and does 20 mins per day schooling as “that’s the equivalent of 4 hours in a school classroom “
Child B was late most days and absent very frequently, sometimes for holidays but mostly because they would rather be at home on TikTok than at school and the parents don’t seem to mind as it’s easier for them if the child stays home.

I kind of agree with you but my ASD DD struggled so much at her mainstream comprehensive school and eventually had a breakdown at 13. Her school told me not to send her anymore in because she was too mentally ill. Luckily we managed to get her into a different special school but if that option hadn’t been available we wouldn’t have had a choice other than to keep her at home. When you describe those social things like walking to school with friends, having a first crush, life isn’t like that for her. Neither of those things would happen. And as for having a detention, her anxiety would make her so ill if a teacher even raised their voice. She could not have coped with a detention. Parents are dealing with situations which I don’t think you can understand if you haven’t got an ND child (I haven’t read the whole thread but am assuming that from your OP). School can be impossible for some sadly.

What about learning from real experts with hands-on experience? What about the practical, hands-on learning home-educated children can access? Teachers are taught what to teach and how to teach it, and that is not always the best way to learn.