Insane rise in home schooling?

[whyohwhy246]

Has anyone else noticed a huge increase in home schooling? Someone I follow in IG has just deregistered their child and I just can’t believe how many families are choosing to do this.

Of course it is sometimes the right choice for the child but it seems that more and more children are being allowed to opt out of formal education.

Teenagers need to learn that life is hard and school will throw challenges at them. How they learn to deal with this impacts how they handle things as an adult. What happens when they enter the work place and they can’t just opt out of the difficult things? Where do they learn that resilience?

I have worked in education for 20 years and whilst I agree that some aspects of the system are broken, I don’t think home schooling is the answer to this.

The social aspect alone is impossible to replicate (walking to school together, having your first crush, a detention, school trips I could go on and on…) but I also don’t see how all of these parents can have the skills to teach their children to GCSE. I also find it so insulting to teachers who spend years learning their craft. It’s not just something you can pick up and do effectively.

Has anyone else noticed this?

PIP would never fill the gap left by not earning a salary due to educating your child at home. Financial incentive is the very last reason to take your child out of school.

exactly this. I met with the head this week, I was told my ASD son is too intelligent to warrant a school with a ASD unit, despite him needing 1-2-1 in primary. Now to decide to homeschool or send him to mainstream, where he will not reach potential (or basic level) without support! It’s insane. Put money into schools to support these kids or parents have to withdraw from work, impacting the economy. It’s ludicrous!

I think it's just another shift in our understanding of children and also reflects developments in terms of the means we have to provide education for them. Once upon a time a zoom or teams tuition session with a maths grad was harder to organise.

Technology has changed the way we commute, and ideas about how to educate children have moved on from the idea that standing in the corner wearing a dunce's cap was good practice.

To me, this is another shift. It won't be best for all, but may address many shortcomings of some schools for some pupils.

I know of people who have used the fact they are home schooling as evidence to help prove they have a higher level of need. Check it out.

In always torn on this. I don't disagree with you but equally I do think there's an element of you just have to learn to cope.

I feel like I'm failing my kids by sending them to school but equally like ill be failing them for their future if I don't. I don't think I'd have done as well as I had if I hadn't been forced to go to school (I don't mean academically, I mean in life in general).

Our household income is approx £70k (I appreciate that this is good), our tutor costs about £400-£500 a month depending on the number of days in a month. Clubs cost us around £700 every 3 months.
We prioritise the expenditure because it’s what matters to us.

Evidence of being unable to attend school because of their disability may form part of the picture, but no-one gets DLA or PIP just because their parent says they are unable to attend.

Exactly this the younger the child the less likely they are to be attending a nursery or preschool, or even just a church toddler group or village hall toddler group where signs of abuse might be noticed.

Mine went to rainbows and dancing, plus group meets with plenty of opportunity to go off and play with her friends.

"I also find it so insulting to teachers who spend years learning their craft. It’s not just something you can pick up and do effectively".

Why do you find it insulting? Home educating your own child/children is nothing like teaching a class of 30. The are not the same thing at all. 20 years in the classroom you might have but you have zero as a home edder.

Just to say my DH is a late career teacher. Been teaching 4 years now. He went down the 'on the job' training (rather than college PGCE route) at 49 and the feedback was how he looked like he'd been teaching for years and he had picked it up really quickly! The schools A level results went up significantly in his two years there. So he must have been pretty effective too!

This is the only thing I don’t like about (well-planned) home education. It takes another woman out of the workforce. Dads need to step up too.

Pip is for over 16s.

DLA is for under 16s.

there is a fifty page form with 94 questions on it and you have to provide evidence for each question. That’s written evidence from people who are not the child or the parents.

I homeschooled my own children successfully, but I want to tell you about my 14 year old nephew OP.

He has ADHD, is dyspraxic and has learning delay/difficulties. He struggles with emotional regulation, impulsivity, and understanding the link between consequences and behaviour. In that latter respect it's almost like a toddler where you need to repeat over and over again why doing ABC will lead to XYZ.

He went to primary school normally and seemed to be ok. Was a very inquisitive child, always talking about little facts he learned in class.

However the problems started when he transitioned to secondary school. That was where he started to experience multiple issues and negative association. He had a SENCO but it made fat difference.

Firstly, despite his problems and SEN being well documented he was very much expected to behave like the neurotypical children. He was expected to arrive at school on time on every occasion despite having chronic insomnia and punished with detention if he was late. He was asked to leave classrooms by teachers when he struggled to concentrate in class despite it being very obvious that it was impossible for him to sit for hours or he was desperately tired and irritatedly told to just 'get on with something else' whilst the rest of the class engaged with the lesson, meaning he learnt nothing. He couldn't write at the same pace and sometimes was told to finish the work after class. Eventually provided a laptop, but he wasn't very fast on that either.

He would regularly come home in tears because a teacher told him to leave the room, admonished or told him off, or because other classmates received certificates for good progress and he never ever received any.

Often late home due to multiple detentions. Many of his former cohort did not move up into the same secondary he did, as his school was chosen by his parents mostly for their supposedly good work with SEN provision and statemented children. This turned out to be untrue. And children just being children, none of the higher achieving neurotypical children wanted to hang around with him either, so he felt completely left out.

He was assigned a one-to-one, but each time he started to engage with the one-to-one the person was switched out. Taken away for small group learning periods, but this included children with a vast range of different SEN and it was very watered down so as to accommodate everyone. He started to feel resentful and like he was being treated as if he was stupid. When in fact he is very bright, but struggles with information processing.

His mum and dad would receive multiple emails and requests for meetings about his behaviour and calls to pick him up when they were at work. The stresses built up until he started school refusing. That led to even more calls and threats of fines to his parents. Sometimes in exasperation, they would go along with the school and still physically drag him in whilst he would be having crying and screaming anxiety-fueled melt downs. Then he started to receive regular partial exclusions

Eventually my nephew decided that since all efforts to engage just got him nowhere, and he wasn't considered to be academically worth bothering with and, in his immature mind, his parents were 'on the school's side and didn't care about miserable he was' he would just give up. He now was totally switched off to education.

He started to fall in with the children who had gang affiliations on the outside of school and started consuming gang related online content. Now he enjoyed the detentions. It meant he could have a cover for coming home late whilst roaming the streets with older children. This messed with my SILs work as she would have to try and find him in her car. Now when he was told to leave the class it added to his kudos. Going in late started to become something he did on purpose. At one point he threatened another child because it was requested by another gang affiliated person online. The school now identified him as vulnerable to gang related activity. He started stealing after school with a gang that included other boys in his class and school leavers. His parents were at the point of despair. The school called the police on one occasion.

We all tried to talking to him for months. It was like talking to someone thoroughly brainwashed. Like someone with a cloud over their brain. Add to the fact that he had a struggle determining consequences, and my attempts to explain the negative outcomes of his behaviour and things like knife crime went through one ear and out the other. He would speak completely nonsensical untruths in front of me. Stuff like 'being stabbed doesn't hurt' and 'the law of Karma' (street karma). He told me he hated school, hated sciebce and geography (which he previously loved) hated history, hated learning and 'knew he wasn't clever'. Started quoting examples of performers in music and in sports who never had an education but were successful. Any attempts to explain that this was a rare outcome, fell on deaf ears. Finally he threatened to acquire a knife without our knowledge.

I had home educated my own children 15 years before. My SIL decided that the outlook for my nephew was bleak and seeing what the positive outcome for my children had been she would pull him out of school and try H.E.. She and my brother did this due to feeling they had absolutely no other choice. For them the decision was drastic. But they had received only one route forward. The school based route. My nephew was looking at being eventually permanently expelled and sent to a centre for children not in mainstream school where he would be completely lost to negative social reinforcement. His mum worked part time and felt she could manage it.

My Brother and SIL home education attempts were not wholly successful. My nephew resisted all attempts at any sort of book based, or I.T based learning. Wouldn't go out to field or museum trips either. My SIL felt stuck. Plus the realism of working and HE caught up with her. I live quite far away so I only travelled to visit a few times. During those times I would see my nephew hanging around in his pyjamas, ostensibly only playing computer games. I started privately wondering whether I should discreetly call social services to see what support they might offer.

Fast forward 18 months later and I went for a visit. I sat on the sofa whilst SIL popped out to get some takeout leaving me with my nephew.

My nephew slowly sauntered downstairs in his pyjamas, grunted what was I watching?

It was the news. I steeled myself for some bland disinterest and some stupid conversation about knives.

Is it about Ukraine? he casually remarked 'I don't like Joe Biden, he's not a strong president or he'd provide stronger air defence'

then:

"Do you know what the largest thing alive on earth is?"

I was literally speechless. He hadn't spoken like that or asked me a question like that since he was 10 years old. I gave a guess "The Blue Whale?"

"Nope it's a Forest" He then told me all about the Aspen Forest in Utah." Can I show you?"

"Sure" I said. I then watched in complete incredulity as he voluntarily turned the TV onto YouTube and showed me an animation all about it. And it didn't stop there, we ended up watching video after video about loads of random topics. His mum came back and we all spent hours watching together.

I had to hide my tears of joy from him.

It's been 3 years and he has gradually turned back into the child who has interest into the world around him, into learning new facts.

The issue is it's very self determined and not at all linear. It's not going to result in him achieving any GCSEs at the same stage that his neurotypical cohort will.

However I consider that the decision to HE has very possibly saved my nephew's life. He no longer talks about crime, the street, gangs with avid fascination and shows interest in normal stuff again. Is able to absorb and digest learning content and best of all has restored his sense of curiosity and inner motivation. He is now saying he would like to work looking after animals.

By formal standards it's a complete failure as compared to school based education.

Yes exactly, mine too. There are many opportunities for this to happen should the child want to.

However, there is absolutely no developmental need for a 5yo to have time away from their parents if they don't yet want to. That only happens here because they go to school. Families who EHE support their young children towards independence all the time - developing independence does not have to mean time away from parents at age FIVE if that doesn't work for the child yet.

Not to mention the group most represented in the home ed community are former teachers 🤣

I’m not going to share income and expenditure because that’s no one’s business. I work 4 days a week in a very flexible job from home. My DD14 is home educated still on roll at school but unable to attend.

My non-working day we plan her work for the week a combination of directed learning and independent work.

On the days I’m working we do some direct work with her before I start and she’ll have some independent work, reading, a research project etc. I’ll check in with her at lunch and go through what she’s done. She is then free for the afternoon having already done more academic learning than she’d have covered in school.

We do crafts, cooking and such like as part of our life outside school and work. She has tutor support for numeracy and literacy and they also leave work for her.

We aren’t recreating school at home, she works at her own pace and if she needs support I can pick up my own work later in the day. She has various clubs at weekends, swimming and dancing for exercise.

Maybe they do? What's the issue?

My dd attended an online school for a couple of terms while she was too physically ill to be in school in person.

It was Kings inter high and she continued the a levels she had already started - maths, further maths, physics. They didn’t offer computer science at the time.

it was about 2k a term I think.

cheaper than her in person private school which was 30k a year.

household income at that point was somewhere around the half million a year mark.

Who says that dads aren’t stepping up and helping with home educating & it’s taking women out of the workplace? That is an assumption you are making. My husband has always stepped in to help with subjects that are his strength and I have continued to work on a freelance basis for the duration of I have been home educating

You think a parent can get higher rate PIP because their child can't cope in school?

I’m not sure why you were quoting me? I was saying taking your child out of school for perceived financial gain is ridiculous. I’m very familiar with all of the reams of paperwork involved with having a disabled child.

It's also not that uncommon to send home ed children to school just to do their GCSEs because doing a large set of exams privately costs thousands of pounds just in exam fees (let alone any resources/tuition purchased for the actual courses).

It isn't necessarily due to a lack of confidence in what could be provided at home if that wasn't available.

I went on a homeschool facebook group because i wanted to see what it was about - not with the view to homeschool. But with the view to finding out about learning, see what resources people suggest etc. so I could support his learning at home.

And wow it was a bit much. All the conversations seemed more about the parents than the children. It was really odd. Kind of cult like. Rarely any posts which were like please tell me your maths tips/ resources.

I appreciate this is a facebook group so not representative. But it was a bit odd and set off some alarm bells.

So you’ve had your nose put out of joint by some people thinking that the establishments you work at are not the best thing for their children. There’s lots of evidence that schools harm some children- bullying from both kids and staff, abuse, not meeting needs, damaging physical and mental health, coming away with no qualifications etc. parents are the best people to judge what is best for their children. IMO the things you list as missing out on are a bit silly and you don’t seem to be living the reality of many

This with bells on, alongside the narrow (and honestly dire) curriculum content, that does not always stimulate or push children to aspire to achieve their full potential.

our son (turning five in March) has been hybrid schooled since September. He attends a structured academy two days a week that teaches a classical curriculum, with lesson plans that he follows at home for the remainder of the week. He has just started learning French and Italian, and in Year 2 will begin learning Latin. The (lack of) MFL provision in our state schools is shameful, and very limiting.

As for extra curricular activities, our son benefits from membership with a range of sports groups, along side National Trust and English Heritage. DH and I are committed to ensuring his education of both stimulating and varied.